The Point of Spirituality Is Not To Come to Intellectual Clarity - 8th February 2021

Now, if I tell you that no, no, actually it is green, you would be willing to argue with me and say, 'No, no, Anantaji, something is wrong. You need to get your eye checked because this phone is red,' because you had that perceptual knowledge that it is red, you see. But for this awareness, it is the only thing, provisionally speaking, where you can confirm its truth without needing to go to perception or without needing to go to any other source of information.

Yes, yes.

So now there is no need to understand this here, you see. There is no need to bring it up to the mind and say, 'Do you really get it? In what way do you get it?' You see? And then all your learned baggage can come into the picture and this will say, 'No, no, I get this because like this and then because like that.' You see? Then all the history and the narrative and all of that structure can come into play. But there is no need to actually bring it up to the head, you see. So self-knowledge is as simple as that. You don't need to do anything with it. You don't need to try and use it, or to try to improve your life, or try to be enlightened, or try to be in a state of bliss—any of that, you see. That's why often I say: truth for truth's sake. What's the point of this? Only that it is true. That's the only point.

Now, what confusion can remain? Okay. And remember my pointer: that when you hear 'but,' it is the mind knocking. It is the mind knocking, saying, 'May I come in, please? But... but...' Now, okay, let me see if I can clarify this some more. So now there is intuitive clarity about awareness, you see. Now, what is it to you? Is it like you visited a place and then you saw a mountain, you see, and therefore 'I am aware of the perception of a mountain'? So what is the relationship now between you and this discovery of awareness?

There isn't any objective relationship. It is... it is just... it's just me. Yeah, it's just... there isn't anything with me as a person. It's just... just me. It's just there.

Yes, yes. And you see that 'me as a person' is only a bundle of objective relationships. There is no tangible entity like 'me.' It's just like you were writing a book and in the book you said, 'Okay, this one lived in Nigeria, and this one had five children, and this one had...' you see? So all of these objective relationships make up this non-existent character in the book, you see. And you may give it whatever name you like. And we've been living in this fictional idea about ourselves, this character, this narrative in the mind of consciousness. But there is nothing to it except these ideas, except these conceptual relationships, you see. And therefore, that which is made up of notions can itself only be a notion.

So we don't need to bring some clarity to this 'me,' to dissolve this 'me,' to ignore this 'me.' We don't have to do anything like that. As it is getting clarified that this awareness itself is you, you don't have to fix the non-existent or follow the thread of belief into the non-existence, because this objective set of notions which seem to define the 'me' is only a set of beliefs, you see. You cannot have a belief and then say, 'I will not create any objective relationships.' A belief is giving truth value to a notion, you see, which creates this relationship.

You see, so we don't need to put this sort of discovery into any narrative, into any past or future. It is not about Raja coming to satsang, getting a hold of this discovery, and then holding on to it forever or something like that. That was just the sideshow. That's just the sideshow. Good. So happy we were finally able to catch each other in this week.

Yes, thank you very much. Yes, yes. I've kept missing for a long time. It's wonderful. Thank you very much.

Okay, I see Rashmi next. Yes, my dear, can you say something?

Hi, namaste. I wanted to ask you: on Friday's satsang, you spoke about attention, and that has totally confused me.

That got your attention! Okay, what happened? Tell me more.

Over the weekend, I saw the video again twice. So how does one know that it's no longer the attention? Yeah, that is where I'm confused.

Yeah, this is very good. This is my favorite topic, actually. This is my favorite topic. I'm very happy to help you with this. In fact, this is the main thing I'm speaking of. So I'm happy, in a way, that this confusion got created, because what that implies is that there was a confusion already present: that our search for the Self is going to be something that will culminate in an experience. Confirm this, if we're going on the right track, you see. So attention means what? Means perception, you see. What do you get with attention? You get perceptions. So now, when you heard that the Self will not be found using your attention, you're basically realizing that it is never going to be a perception, or an experience, or a state.

Yes, yes, yes.

But this is fundamental to Vedanta. Every perception comes and goes. Everything that comes will go, you see. And the bane of most spiritual seekers—including this one who used to search for the Self—was the same thing. I had heard that it's never going to be a perception, so what I was expecting was a 'super perception' of some sort, you see. One day I will come across a super perception, and then that will be perceived, but it will not be a perception anymore; that will be the Self, isn't it? So now when that idea is shaken, you see, that 'I am searching for myself in this sort of way,' then it can feel like: but if it is not this way, then which way can it be, isn't it?

Yes, because it can feel like: what else do I have to be able to search?

Right. Not with attention, then with what? Because this is very, very important. So she's saying, 'I got really confused because you said you can't find it with attention,' and I'm saying that we've always been told that—that it will never be a perception, you see. But now when it is hitting us directly in the face, we're just like: then how do I look? Tell me if that is not your predicament.

Yes, yes, that's exactly how it is.

Yes, yes, very good, very good. So I feel we understand the part about conceptual knowledge well enough, so I won't... and I have talked about it long enough, so I won't digress into that, you see. Now, that is why I've given you the hammer. The hammer is a question like: 'Are you aware now?' What is your response to this?

Yes.

Now, did you use perception to recognize this awareness?

No.

No. Then what did you use? It's just natural. You cannot not be aware. How do you know this?

It's just known. It just is, you know. It just is.

So that 'just is' or 'just is known' is what we are calling intuitive insight. Okay.

So how will I tell that beyond a certain point it's not the attention?

Yes, because you just check. No, we can check again. This awareness, is it something like content which is coming to you through your attention?

No.

No. This is the critical point, you see. This is the main point. Because all of this spiritual struggle is to try and find it in some way, as if you're looking for some special thing, some special object, you see. And because that is the way we've learned how to search. But this search is not that way. And if you understand—if all of you here understand—that it is not that way, you cannot find it perceptually and you cannot figure it out in your head, you see, then at least the ones who are here today cannot really struggle. If you take my words to heart, you cannot spiritually struggle. Then of course you may struggle with what to do after that, but that's for later. Okay.

So now that you recognize that your confirmation of this awareness does not need any sort of objective perception, you see, and it just is so apparent, so apparent, it's so clear, you see. Can you confirm from the same space of insight, that same intuitive insight, that this can never change? Again, don't go to your mind, because your mind will make it a different sort of question. In the same space that you are aware, you see, that you are able to confirm that you are aware now... okay, let me ask you a simpler one first. So, what can appear as a perception to make an impact or a dent on that awareness?

I can't say. Like right now, anything in front of you...

Can it touch that awareness? Anything that you perceive, can it touch awareness?

No.

That much is enough. That much is enough for now, to see that this realm of perception, you see, is not powerful enough to make a dent or a scratch on this awareness, you see, because it's not in the same plane at all, you see. And if these words are making you visualize, then forget about it. We don't have to worry about creating any sort of imagery about this. Just innocently, like a child, we need to look.

Now, what needs to happen to Rashmi, or what understanding do you need to have now to be free? Nothing. If a lot of confusion comes, what is the confusion? That two opposing concepts are playing around in our intellect, you see, and sometimes this seems plausible, sometimes this feels plausible. That is confusion, isn't it? You see, but what I'm showing you is beyond intellect. So it doesn't matter what is playing around in the intellect, or if there are a hundred confusions there. It doesn't really matter, does it?

So it just is. It just is. Interesting.

Now, this 'it'—how is it related to you?

That is who I am.

Yes, yes. You don't sound confused at all to me.

No, you made it so clear now. You know, you think you put it so simply and you just cleared it.

So, but I want to caution you against one thing: that we may use the words for some momentary intellectual clarity, so it can seem to settle down for a moment. But I'm not really aiming for that, because that is an impossible goal, you see. Your intellect is like a leaky roof. You may keep fixing it over and over again, but some notion will come and create a hole again. And then if you start chasing conceptual clarity, then it's like chasing the mirage, you see. It never happens. It is just to transcend the intellect, to let go of it, okay? You see, so you can have confusion.

Use the words for some momentary intellectual clarity so it can seem to settle down for a moment, but I'm not really aiming for that because that is an impossible goal. You see, your intellect is like a leaky roof. You may keep fixing it over and over again, but some notion will come and create a hole again. And then if you start chasing conceptual clarity, then it's like chasing the mirage, you see? It never happens. It is just to transcend the intellect, to let go of it, okay? You see, so you can have confusion in the level of intellect, you see? So let leave the intellect be. You see, it doesn't matter to me whether you're clear in your intellect or you're confused in your intellect because the intellect is full of lies anyway. So how would you like your lies? I say, no these things—would you like your lies all clear, clear, or you like them all scattered around and confused? Let them be confused. If I don't care, I don't care. No, I don't care if they are in a coherent set or they are just all over the place. It doesn't really matter because the point of spirituality is not to come to intellectual clarity. That is another way in which seekers struggle, you see. I thought I was clear that there is one Brahman, and then there is Nirguna, and then there is Saguna, and then in the Saguna the play of Ishwara happens, then there's a play of Jivatma, then the Jivatma has to recognize that it is Paramatma. You see, we can create a sort of conceptual paradigm of all of this, but that is really not needed, okay?

That is so good. Thank you so much, really. You really just help out so well. Your pointings are so simple, so nice. Thank you so much and please, please don't leave me, please.

It's not possible. Right here, not possible. Thank you, thank you so much. You're welcome, so welcome. Thank you. Very good, very good. Okay, okay, let's hear. Niranjan has his hand up. Namaste. How are you?

Very good. I have nothing to say or ask or anything because whatever comes up strongly I keep writing to you. So maybe I hope I am not writing very frequently.

Oh, it's fine, it's fine at your end. As long as you don't feel that Father doesn't respond always and things, because I get too many messages to be able to always respond. As long as that expectation is not there, I'm very happy to read through.

It's not here because it's not possible for you to not respond, and a response doesn't necessarily, you know, need to be written or something like that. Even your reading is also a response. So maybe you can ask something or maybe if you have felt somewhere while reading the messages that you want to, you know, like you want to advise or guide or something like that.

I read through them and they're fine. I don't feel like I need to intervene. The Master's grace is flowing beautifully and it's all good, it's all good.

Because sometimes, you know, when you have a blind spot, it's always better to ask someone because others can see it easily and you cannot see it.

I will make sure I point it out if I see one. I'm happy that you seem to be at ease and everything seems to be good. So all my love, all my blessings are with you.

Yeah, it's actually like the thing, you know, the thing that happened here like with the depression and all those things, but it's like I am so grateful for those things because they have really, you know, they have really shown something. So in fact, many times when you say your arch-nemesis is the checker guy, so here I find the arch-nemesis is the feeling of specialness. No, like it's like because this one perhaps was a studious kind of person throughout and people also, you know, keep telling you, 'Oh, you are a ranker, you are so out of the world, and how do you achieve all those things?' and you know, so those things tend to develop an identity of specialness. And when here at least it played, you know, maybe a bit strong, so when you think you are very special, on the flip side you develop a big fear, right? Because then it becomes a huge burden, you know. So it's like you cannot be second, you always have to be first, and that's not possible. I mean, in the design of the, you know, this play, it's an impossible task. So you have continuous, you know, fear in the background or in the depths of your being, and that manifested as depression. Or at least this seems to me that this is how it could have happened, like it's sort of a self-psychoanalysis kind of thing that happened one day here. And when that is seen, it relieves that depression a lot, you know. But it's like you have touched the root, you know, the root of the weeds. And that it has helped a lot because, you know, after this realization things keep happening, you know.

Yes, yes. Something has gone wrong with your internet.

Yeah, it appears that the bandwidth is low here. Am I audible, Father?

Yes, you're audible. Yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it has helped because, you know, when this realization changes, like what happened, what is observed here is that so many, you know, intellectual clarity around so many things has happened over here. And that can take you into again that feeling of specialness. But because you are already burned in that aspect, so you know, it helps a lot. Because like I wrote you about the energy episodes and all those things and, you know, like the capacity to work is like anything, you know, because like you don't feel tired and those things can, you know, bring specialness again. But it's like you have already experienced that one, so it protects you from spiritual ego, so to speak. Maybe that's how it's playing here.

Good. I'm happy to see you, Niranjan. All my love. Thank you, thank you so much. Good. I see Subha.

I don't know what to say actually. It's whatever I come up with, I see it's from the mind. Seems like no point saying, and that's how I've been avoiding exposing myself. I felt it for all these years with Mooji also. I never came up, never exposed myself, and there's something hiding there. I know that. I just want to expose it.

And this is a good one. This is a good one to expose. But presume that this is gone now. Let's presume that this is gone, this game of hiding and seeking. You see, hide and seek is over now. Now you're on the hot seat now. And you said that whatever I can say is from the mind. And without even worrying about that, tell me something about you which is independent of your mind.

It can't be put in words.

But is it apparent to you?

Yes.

Is it apparent that it is you?

Yeah, yeah.

That's very good. Then you don't need to worry about the smaller games. You see, it doesn't matter so much. And you just let the mind go on with its games. And yeah, so dishonesty and arrogance... you know, I live in Bangalore and my house used to be—the older airport was right next to my house, you see. So what would happen is that when I moved here, then the flight traffic was not so much, but over the years every minute there was a flight, you see. But after a while I couldn't hear it. It's not that the flights stopped flying or they just stopped making noise. It was just because there was no inclination towards them, there was no interest towards them. So it didn't matter, and whether they made noise every minute or not was not so relevant. So you're getting the analogy?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. All these years that's what I thought, that it doesn't matter. I can see it and, you know, I'm not getting affected by it and so there's no trouble. But somehow I still feel that it just keeps growing in that hiding. So I just wanted to expose it and put it before you.

Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. To surrender it is beautiful. But to expect the leopard to change its spots is not needed. It is the nature of the mind to sell you ideas about yourself which are not true, you see. And if you keep waiting for the mind to conform or to confirm your true insight about yourself, then that can be a multi-lifetime wait. I'm sure you don't want to wait that long. So let it go on with its games. Let it go on with its games. You don't bother with it, okay? Do you feel that one day the mind will be able to conceptualize some truth and give it to you?

No. Now, so that's again—one part of the mind says no, but the other part keeps trying always to conceptualize, find more clarity, as you said yesterday, to fit it into your head and fit it into your understanding. And that effort is on, and it somehow sometimes says, it seems to say, that the joy I get in the clarity—when something gets clearer and there's joy in it—and so it's worth pursuing. And so that sometimes keeps you hooked onto that pursuit. And how do I get out of that?

Yes. So let me ask you a difficult question. If there was joy in lies, would you still pursue them?

No, actually. I mean, the most logical answer to that is no, but I see myself doing that still. I mean, you wonder why do you do it when you know it's not true, but you do it. Why?

And the thing is that actually it's only a promise of joy. It doesn't actually become an attainment of any sort of true joy. Maybe just sometimes the play of the knotting up—because we have a desire, you see—and the opening up of that knot can seem to provide some momentary relief at times, you see. But it is only dependent on our picking up the desire in the first place, you see. So there's no real joy to be found. You're only knotting yourself up and returning to your naturalness, your desirelessness, and that can feel like it provides some relief. But as you get used to just naturally remaining in your notionless existence, then you would not need to play that game.

So is there any practice you would suggest for me?

Just remain open and empty, you see. Remain open and empty. And then when you pick up something, then you don't have to get into a post-mortem and say, 'No, no, why did I pick it up? Ananta had said don't pick up, remain open,' and none of that. Just when you recognize you picked up something, just come back to open and empty.

Yeah, yeah. So I think the biggest issue is that you forget this, because otherwise the discovery is so simple. All you have to do is just remember and it's there.

In the sense that when you've forgotten about it, then you've forgotten about it, you see. Now when you remember it again, you see what happens most of the time is we beat ourselves up over it saying, 'I shouldn't have forgotten, this is such a problem,' you see. So it is that which causes more trouble, you see. So you remember it, and then you forget about it. Just forget. Yeah, okay? Yeah, so easy to remain open and empty is to not be part of any narrative, you see. To not be part of any mental narrative. So if you insert that remaining open and empty also in a narrative of forgetting and remembering, then that is not open and empty enough, you see.

Yeah, good. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I will just keep exposing myself. I hope you just... whatever I feel the need to keep exposing, so I'll keep coming to you. And I'm not in India right now, but when I come to India I would like to meet you once.

Yes, you're very welcome. That's your own home. Where can I see you? Oh, I... where do you live? I don't know.

I stay in Bangalore.

No, yeah, we can... are you on Facebook or how are you getting information about...?

Not on Facebook, really. I see your YouTube videos. I see, I see.

So how do you get information about satsang?

From the YouTube I get that. Go to the link, so it allows me to go to the Facebook page and see the day and get the link for this. So I just get the link without being on Facebook.

So we must find a way. Do you know anyone else in the sangha? We'll find a way for you to keep in touch with us. And if you're visiting India, are you going to be visiting soon?

Not before April.

Okay, okay. So we'll figure out a way to be in touch before that, and we must definitely meet.

So how do you get information about satsang from the YouTube? I get that. Go to the link, so it allows me to go to the Facebook page and see the day and get the link for this. So I just get the link without being on Facebook. So we must find a way. Do you know anyone else in the sangha? We'll find a way for you to keep in touch with us. And if you're visiting India, are you going to be visiting soon?

Uh, not before April.

Okay, okay. Okay, so we'll figure out a way to be in touch before that. And we must definitely meet when you're here if you visit Bangalore for sure.

Sure, I will. Yes. Okay, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, my dear. Thank you.

Good. Okay, okay. I see. Come along next.

Hello. Hello, my dear. Namaste. It's not so, so you know, my dear, it's um, I have some strange headphones. Better like this? Yes, yeah. Nothing's from sahaja. It is so, so nice to reconnect with you like this. I can't hear you now, probably because I'm not... I wanted to say thank you to Yellen also, who is there with you, because she brought this connection back. And it's just, yeah, it's beautiful to hear the same words again from you and just they're bypassing the mind constantly and landing straight into the heart. And yeah, just to say hi and thank you and I love you. And we all do here.

What is the last one? What is the last thing?

We all do here. We speak with you here often. We mention you and we send you out love.

Thank you so much. Blessing to everyone there, to Jyoti Ma also and everyone, Radha and the whole sangha. Love you so much. Thank you. Good, very good. So nice. And thank you for bringing sahaja into the satsang. Thank you. Yeah, it's always the same. Thank you. I love you.

Love you. Thank you.

Okay, I see Anka. Anka, Anka, you can help me with the pronunciation.

Yes, hi Ananta. Anka is okay. I would like to check in with you and to look at something. The last time we spoke, you said to me, or you suggested, if there is an intense feeling, just to try to feel it in the spaciousness of being, just to allow it to be there. And yeah, I did that also. And what I found is that there's still a fight going on inside. And I can see that there are these thoughts coming and labeling the sensations. And yet sometimes, and maybe this is also just a thought, I have the notion that I'm not fully understanding where this identification is coming from or how it reshapes. And maybe it's just the thought which I'm believing and then the suffering continues. I don't know really if you can help me with this thing.

I just want to say that there's some noise that comes from point to point. Is it because something is not so tightly put? The headphones jack is a bit loose? Or you can try a bit. So, better? Yeah, something is shaky there, it seems. Okay, for the moment it's fine if nothing can be done. So, this fight that happens, what is the location of it?

I cannot really point a specific location. It's just, I can only say where the sensations are felt, but I cannot really say.

So if there are sensations, you see some contraction, some other contraction, contraction colliding with contraction, you see? Does that just contraction, contraction, all the sensation, is that what you mean by fight?

Yes, and because the story... there's a story, of course.

Without the story, can there be a fight?

I still feel yes, somehow.

We should look. We should really look at this, no? So, let's say in pure perception, is what I call it, no? The state, storyless perception. Storyless perception. Now, what has to appear here, you see, that without the story becomes an attack or a fight?

Can you say it again, please?

So, okay, let me expand on that a bit. So in your being, you have this seeming outside world, yes? Now, in this outside world, if there was no story but there was something showing up, you see, without the story, what could cause trouble?

Yeah, it couldn't. It couldn't cause trouble.

Now, okay, so then the next level of your existence, let's say, is the layer of the body, you see? At the body layer. So at the body layer, some sensations, pain, pleasure, all of this can come. And recall the innocence of a child where, you know, there was a child in satsang on Friday and one moment he was crying, the next moment he was laughing. There was no story and there was no suffering. Pain and pleasure was naturally there, but there was no fight. There was no psychological struggle. So I'm giving the answer along with the question, which is a bit unfair, but would you see it like that?

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

You see? Now, let's say we go a little deeper and we go to the level of... let's leave thought aside, let's go to emotion, you see? Emotion. There's some emotion, anger, what we call anger, but we are not labeling for the moment, you see? Some anger. Then moments later, there's some joy, then there's some neutrality where you can't really place what emotion is there. Now, without the labels and the story, can it become a fight?

No.

Okay, are you saying no because you know it's the right answer, or you see it?

I see it that it's not possible, but there's still so much like these voices inside just rebelling against this.

Yes, of course. Of course, it is his job. So don't worry, it will do that. It usually will not accept the words of satsang and say, 'Come, come, I'm waiting for you to rebel against it.' It is going to fight. But we are recognizing the playground of the fight, no? We're recognizing clearly the playground of the fight. And then if you go beyond even emotion, then you come to pure presence and beingness and you realize that, of course, it is not possible to have any sort of fight or struggle over there. So all of this exercise was done so that we can localize and we can see that the location of this conflict is just in our mind, you see? You see? Now, what can the mind tell you so that there is conflict or struggle or fight?

I have an idea. It's like this: there's this subtle, there's this expectation that after some years of going to satsang and participating in satsang, there shouldn't be this energetic pain on a daily basis anymore.

So this is the suggestion of the mind. Very good, very good. So in a way, what I was going to say is that the mind has all of the proposals for 'better,' you see? Now, 'better' sounds like a good idea, but the problem with 'better' is that it resists what is, yeah? You see? Now, because you have gone to satsang, therefore you should not be in this kind of pain anymore. It is an idea of how your life should be better or how things should be better, but subtly its only job is to resist what is. And in this humble-sounding notion of 'better,' his proposals are 'better' where we become inadvertently, you see—not inadvertently as consciousness, but as part of the play—inadvertently in opposition to what is, you see? So this resistance or opposition to what is is called the ego, you see? And that is why the advice last time was to see that for what is actually existent, which is your being, you see, no sensation or perception needs to come or go. It is fine with whatever is there, you see? It is only this self-image called the ego which has... which self-image is like a shape which says, 'In my perception, I only want good stuff. I don't want this so-called bad stuff.' You see? It picks and chooses, and that picking and choosing is suffering.

Yes.

You see? And then what happens is we come to satsang and we hear some opposing concepts, and then it can seem like there is a set of concepts and there's an opposing set of concepts, and then both can get into a fight, you see? Yeah, sometimes you'll hear the master's words which the mind can replay also and say it's saying something, then it's saying okay, also replaying the master's word just to put you into a resistive state, yeah? You see? Now, if you were to leave that playground where the fight is happening, you see, then can you struggle?

I need to... I need to feel it. No, there's no struggle. It's just that the sensations are here and it's still uncomfortable.

Yes, but these labels, they belong to the image that you have about yourself, you see? Because the mind has convinced you that this should not be.

Yes, yes, yeah.

And therefore it can feel like you're only getting somewhere if these sensations are going away.

Yes, so it will put you in this scale of 'better.' You'll get better if these go away, which is a setup for failure again.

And also it always brings this identity of a victim immediately as soon as this sensation is here, and then this fight or this trying to come out of this.

Yeah, so we can never fix the problem at that level, you see? No problem actually can be fixed at the level at which it is created. So you just have to transcend it. So we're not trying to fix the mind, heal the mind, make the mind quieter, none of that. The mind can be whatever it wants to be, you see? What percentage of your being does your mind take up right now?

There's... I can say it's just the sensation that seems to be quite taking a lot of space in the being.

I'll give you a tip for a moment now. Just don't even label it a sensation. Don't know what it is at all. Just be completely open. Completely open, not with an expectation that it will go away, you see? Just fully open. And just whatever is appearing is so much in your attention that you don't have any attention left to go to a label and say, 'This is what it is.' Whatever's showing up is fully in your attention. Ah, you see? Now, this what is showing up can only, see, can only hurt that which it is touching, isn't it? It cannot hurt that which it is not touching. Now, that which it is touching, can it be hurt?

What do you mean by touching?

Ah, okay. Let me say: that in which it is appearing. That is what it is touching, no?

Like at its boundary, there's just this space of being.

Yeah, so I was trying to avoid as many labels as possible, but maybe just to clarify, you see? Now, just go back. You can try and forget about these labels for a moment. Just go back to your pure... just giving your attention to whatever's showing up and see if you can find that which is actually hurt by it.

That which is seeing it, you mean? If this is hurt, that...?

Can you find anything that is hurt by it? This is the quote-unquote sensation, no? No, you see? So can you find the one that the mind is trying to protect?

No.

Are you affected in any way if this continued to remain like this now?

No.

You see? Now, create an image of yourself that is affected by it. Use thoughts, use ideas, actively resist it.

I cannot do it when you invite it. Then it seems difficult.

When you invite it to come, 'Come, let's create the self-image, let's play with that for a bit so that something can be hurt with the sensations, otherwise these sensations are going to waste,' you see? So invite it to come again. Try. Use ten thoughts. Just pick up ten thoughts. Just believe that I'm here with you, nothing will happen, don't worry. Pick up ten ideas about yourself and do it, this reverse satsang. Tell me when you succeeded.

It's not... it's not happening.

So it is really when these thoughts come and I believe them, then it creates this fight, will give a reality to this, yes? So remember my tip is that nothing in pure perception can cause any suffering. To suffer, you need an idea. And when you open, just like you checked, you see? When you're really open, you see it. Then you can even invite and say, 'Okay, what is this?' But in your openness, you see, in your acceptance, in your openness, even this play cannot happen, you see? Now, all these thoughts are coming like, 'I hope that next time when it comes, I...' But this is already also creating this victim again.

Yeah, yes.

It tries to pull you back in time. So sometimes I say that if you're in satsang with me, forget about either time or space. Pick one. I'm not asking you to do both. So thank you. Thank you for your openness, my dear. Thank you.

Okay, I see Isha. Namaste, Guruji. And do you hear me? Little... I hear you, I hear you well. Okay, because my that one has an issue. Long time no see, so happy to see you again. So, Ananta, actually what I wanted also to share is very much the same as Anka just said. So, it was as if I...

Yeah, yes, it tries to pull you back in time. So sometimes I say that if you're in Satsang with me, forget about either time or space; pick one. I'm not asking you to do both. So thank you. Thank you for your openness, my dear. Thank you.

Okay, I see Isha. Namaste, Guruji. Do you hear me a little?

I hear you. I hear you well.

Okay, because my that one has an issue. Long time no see. So happy to see you again. Um, so Ananta, actually what I wanted also to share is very much the same as uncle Justine. So, um, it was as if I was actually talking with you. Yes, yeah. So not sure what I want to say at the moment, but um, it feels like when doing the exercise, this space opens and um, everything is fine. And as I start going about my day, there are so many activities and I quickly just jump into the regular being as a person and being reactive to the circumstances. And just um, such a conflict. And there is sometimes a lot more in the circumstances, there is a lot more unkindness and um, confusion happens that it just seems unavoidable to jump into the fight systems like um...

And if we can pause here. We can pause here for a moment, otherwise I'll forget what you said earlier. So, so this part is good now. So say tomorrow you go to work, you see, and you forget. You get back into identity, you become unkind, all of those things happen, you see. Now, what is the best gift you can give yourself now so that tomorrow, the one that is going to show up and have this life can be a little more open and empty? That should be the question, isn't it? We obviously cannot solve it for that one tomorrow. We cannot jump in time and go to that moment and say, 'Hey, you see, who are you really?' But you're here now. So what can this one who's here now, what gift can you give that one who will be there tomorrow?

So let me give you some options. Yes, we'll worry about what that one will do. Will that be the best gift? No. No concern, no worry about what that one will be. In fact, it may add to that fear and energy of that movement out of Beingness into identity, isn't it? So if I was to suggest to you that the only gift you can give to that one tomorrow is for you to be open and empty now. You see? To be open and empty now. So whenever you remember that there are times that you go into identity, you see, you don't sit and worry about that and say, 'When will that get fixed?' and 'When will I change?' All of that. Instead, you become open and empty right there and then, because that is the only gift you can give to that one.

The mind will try to convince you that you need to solve that problem in some other way, you see, but there is no other way. It is just to create a naturalness around being open and empty every time that you do remember, you see. If you can remember to remain open and empty, then that will start extending towards every aspect of your life. But if you want to, when you remember the truth and the spiritual pointings, if your mind immediately takes you to the future or the past, you see, then it has brought that contamination into your openness and emptiness even right now. So what you have to do is to bring your openness into those moments now and not bring that contamination into your openness now. You see? Then you will see that all of these projections of past and future are just a mind attack trying to get you away from your openness, which is naturally present, because you're trying to fix it for some non-existent one, you see, who could be a dream entity. Who cares? Maybe I've gone too far with that one, but the rest of it was clear.

It is clear.

So the best way to heal your past is to be open and empty now. The best way not to fall into egoic identity in the future is to be open and empty now. For the mind, it will sound too simplistic. It may feel like, 'But I have a real problem, you need to solve it somehow.' But this is the only solution. And remember one, as you're assimilating this, I can see that it's being heard in the heart, so that is good. But remember that you are not to make a thermometer reading every time and saying, 'Today I'm being so much open, but you know, at work I was a bit closed, and then with my relationship I was a bit like this.' You're not to do all that exercise. It's not for you to do. The grace that is guiding you, it is that grace's job to do all of this. That grace knows what has to be taken care of. So what to do? Just be open and empty without you, without being open and empty—you know what I mean? No posturing, no position. Open and empty is not a position.

And it feels more than ever that the person is so crippled and it's like he has no idea anymore.

What is the state of that man who's sitting right next to you, sir? What is the state of the man sitting right next to you? The man? Yeah. So all the reports about the person are also like that. Okay, okay. Just imagine there is no entity like the person. But I love the innocence that she actually looked. She actually—that is called trust. That is called trust in the Master. Thank you so much. Louder, so maybe they can hear you. So it can only hurt that which it is touching, or no? Unless it's got some superpowers where you can just teleport. So what is it touching? The emotion? What is it in contact with? What space is it appearing in? Okay, let's say it's the space of Awareness. So this Awareness, can it be hurt by it? Then who is it hurting?

Father is your Being. It is not this man. I was going to say boys, but now with the gray hair... Father is doing it, but Father is your own Being, your holy presence. Yes. The problem with that is that it will say only when you are here in front, only then can it be this species. Yes. Even the perception of the body in front of you that you call Master, Father, is where? Inside. Inside something is the mind, and don't go for the mind's acceptance. Tell me something if it's something else. The one who's him—which one is that? I mean, a perception in itself, can we ever call it a resistance? And this thing which is answering your problem, what is recognizing all of this? The answering and all of that we can come to later. It's you know, it's so that you, that is aware of these perceptions that you're perceiving, what can we say about that one now? Is there another you then who has a problem?

The mind, for example, is whose problem? You. And nothing to solve. Don't accept any conclusion. It is these conclusions which give you shape. Not really, but apparently. Allow yourself to wobble if you have to. Being without any ground to stand on, stay still. It's okay. Don't hold a branch. Don't run. What happened? He'll throw something at you which we've nurtured a lot in the past, like your biggest experience or your biggest problem or something. Just in the perception of it, stay with the perception of it. Be that open that you have no time for labels. Can you be fully open and label at the same time? You see, you have to close yourself for a bit to say, 'This is this.' It's just that open that you don't have to conclude. You don't have to make names. And that is just the attempt to get a conceptual understanding of what is. What are labels? Just our ideas of conceptual understanding of what is. And then that is the—we create an addiction to rationalizing everything. We were talking about it the other day. If you can see that you can never figure out what is, never figure out what is, in no way can you figure out. Open, open, open. Fully open.

Like, okay, I see um, my computer stopped responding. It's had enough of Satsang. Ah, here you go. I see Lawrence. Lawrence can come. Very good.

This is a very strong attack. It's been going on for two days now. So um...

What is the theme? What is the theme of the attack? Is it relationships or freedom?

Started out triggered by a series of things. Um, a bit of physical illness, poisoned by water after having done so many things to purify the water. So, and then it was like um, something breaking down and many efforts to repair it and unable to. So basically non-acceptance of the play, the dynamic play um, here. And um, realizing that again this one having expected, not accepting what is, having expectations of um... Well, you know in Satsangs also it is mentioned very often life is going to become more and more fluid and whatever. And so there is this—truly this was seen—this expectation that um, things were going to get better. But also with the understanding that uh, actually life becomes more fluid when you accept it, when you flow with it in the now. And somehow it keeps crying, crying, crying. And I haven't heard what has been said earlier, I mean only bits and pieces. It's like it's such a huge storm here. So it—and yet the vision, the vision is so clear. It's just come, get out of this. Oh, I need to hear you on this, but I don't know. Just surrendering this.

So that which we think we are, you see, that which we think we are can never accept life. You see? Because that which we think we are is a resistance to life in itself. So a resistance cannot be an acceptance, you see. And that which we actually are knows nothing of acceptance or resistance. And that is the conundrum. So I agree with you that spiritual pointings are very confusing and mostly just nonsense basically, including everything I say from here. So let's see if we can try to make it a bit simpler, you see. So you said something very nice. You said the vision is very clear, you see. Now, in that vision, that which you see yourself to be, what does that have to do? Nothing.

Now it's very clear that there is a resistance of this shape taken here that doesn't accept that. That even though truth is thin, like you know, the very strong thought here is fed up of that play. Just uh...

Did you notice something? If you notice one thing, and I've noticed this over the years very clearly, is that the ones who had spiritual insight come to a phase where they seem to struggle and suffer more than the ones who have not had spiritual insight. Yes, because the ones who had spiritual insight, they also have a lot of spiritual ideas about how their life should change now. Whereas the ones who are not spiritual are not expecting their car not to break down and for the house roof not to leak because they are spiritual. Now we are expecting that our life should become more open and accepting, then then we are accepting less what is showing up, not accepting more. Yes, that's it.

I look at my family, I look at my brothers and they don't ask any questions and and it's all seems so much easier.

It's such an irony that once we know that we are supposed to accept life more, we actually end up accepting life less. Because your brother and family and my brother and family maybe do not know about this, that they're supposed to accept life, but they're quite okay with things happen, you know? They're just like, 'Okay, things happen,' and they get about fixing it. There's no, 'Oh, but then am I accepting this enough? And why am I so closed about this?' So there comes this phase where—so what is happening and what is the way out of this? What is happening is that a bit of that shape, the old shape that we thought ourselves to be, remains, you see. And a bit of that insight is there. So both parts are playing out, you see. So what happens is still—and what is happening is that we are—that shape is made up of trying to use the spiritual insight, yes, to make the life of the shape better. That is what it is made up of, is it?

Yes, yes.

So, so this idea—and that's why I keep re-emphasizing this point—that we come to Satsang, we come to the truth for truth's sake, not anything else. Yeah, obviously there is something not accepting this hearing it, but yeah, but fighting against it. Yes, this conclusion is based on the spiritual knowledge that you have. If I was talking to a regular person who is not in spirituality, they would not even know how to think this way. Yes. So, so I'm going to say something, maybe it will come as a shock, but in the end we have to let go of everything that we know spiritually as well. Yes, and I know that's the problem, you see. That exactly is the problem there. So you have to ret...

There is something not accepting this, hearing it but fighting against it. Yes, this conclusion is based on the spiritual knowledge that you have. If I was talking to a regular person who is not in spirituality, they would not even know how to think this way. Yes, so I'm going to say something—maybe it will come as a shock—but in the end, we have to let go of everything that we know spiritually as well. Yes, and I know that's the problem, you see. That exactly is the problem there. So you have to return to the innocence of a child, you see, until the intuitive presence itself starts using this mouth to speak spiritual stuff, you see. Until then, we just return to a vast innocence which doesn't know spirituality, worldly, nothing—just a simple innocence about everything.

Oh, so there is a need to expose something else. And because this is arrogance and this is that spiritual knowledge, there has been this thing for the past month, like this wanting to help others with that, and even this very strong desire to hold satsang. And when this kind of crisis wasn't there, it was like—and it was seen—but it was really like, 'Oh, leave it far behind.' Like, to sum it up, 'Yes, I've got it now' or something.

It's very good to expose it. It's very good to expose it. It's very good to expose it. And I can tell you that it's a very common notion. Now, I want to give you one piece of advice, which is that, firstly, I want to give you a blessing. There are so many apparent beings in this world, you see, so the world could do with one million more satsang teachers, many, many, many sharing satsang, you see. So of course my blessing is there, but I also want to give you this piece of advice: that the sharing of satsang must happen very organically, very organically.

Yes, but it's obvious when I say that. It's very, very clear that it's going to be with blessings and when it is ready and there is this intuition. It's not ready, but it keeps coming here. And there was this inside, it was very arrogant. And so the way it's hit me, it's through this printer actually. The thing that broke down was a printer, and the message was 'reading head not appropriate.' And I have to work on this because—I'm sorry we're laughing, it's funny, but still.

So okay, just whatever has to happen and whichever way this instrument called the body-mind is going to be used by consciousness, it can all happen from a place of pure innocence. Yes, and one final tip I'll give to you is that for some time, just don't know what anything is, and especially don't know why anything is. In the 'why,' in the finding of patterns, in the finding of—just for fun it's okay, of course—but if you're taking them seriously, then we are taking the notion of time seriously, taking the notion of causation seriously, you see. So just return to the innocence of a child.

This one keeps interpreting. I mean, it's always here. I know there's this expectation also. I keep hearing about this deep silence, deep silence. I cannot say it's been experienced here. There's always—there's no connecting to it, but there's always lots of things, stuff.

So this is impatience, right? I want to say something, which is that I'm happy that you're able to spot any pride or arrogance that comes, but I also want to say that as far as the kind of the extremes of spiritual pride I've seen over the last eight years of sharing satsang, this one is a very innocent sort of arrogance. So it's not a severe infection.

Okay, thank you.

Because the ones who have become really trapped in it would never, never admit it. They would never be open to sharing it in front of satsang. They would usually, you know, want to discuss it with me privately and say, 'Can I speak to you? You see, something very serious is happening to me.' But with your openness, with your innocence, it's not about that.

Thank you so much. You're holding my hand all the time. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Very good. Thank you. Okay, convergence.

So I just wanted to thank you for a phrase you repeat quite often, that is 'you see.' And that really impacted me because we either think, label, judge, or intellectualize, but we don't see. And just seeing without the mind with its conditions, that's it. And it was so profound, it really hit me. So it was very, very helpful. So I want to thank you, Father.

Thank you. Thank you so much, my dear. It's something that I've inherited from my Father. No, when I'm at work, I don't use the phrase 'you see.' And sometimes I'm hearing—like I put on something that will come on YouTube and I'll be wondering, 'What did I see?' Like sometimes the title will be there and I don't recall saying it. So I'll put on the video and every two seconds is 'you see,' and then I'm like, 'How is anyone hearing this stuff?' So I see it happening. Of course, I've taken it from Guruji and multiplied it by a thousand. Guruji uses it quite appropriately; I am just everything, you see, sometimes even more. But it's so strange that at work and things, it's not used. So maybe it is a pointer of sorts because it's almost like a wake-up call. Whenever you are going in the sleep state, it's like a slap on the face like, 'You see! Wake up! You see! You see!'

So it's very powerful. I really like it. Thank you.

Thank you. Very kind of you. Thank you. Are there a lot of questions on chat? If there's a super solid question, can you post it again? Ah, there's a hand. Who is this?

I just feel like I've not seen you in such a long time, so I just wanted to come here. I know that you've been to this question and I feel like I have to respond to it fast and then I forget about it completely. And then I asked you whether it was fresh and you said it is fresh, and something again I forgot answering it. It's okay, it's fine.

I feel like it's okay. I mean, you can answer.

Yeah, I just wanted to come and say hey, I love you so much and I miss you so much. How is everything? The parents are good?

Yes, all good. Father, I'll come see you in Bangalore whenever, like in the next two, three months. I mean, whenever anything opens. I don't know.

It's opening already. Things are quite open already. But yeah, a few more weeks, I feel like we should be fine.

Okay, I'll go. I'll let anybody else who wants to ask a question.

Well, it's good. I'm so happy. I'm so happy you came up like this and so nice to see you. Hey, good. My channel ready. All my love to you and please wish everyone on my behalf and come soon, most importantly. Yeah, not few months and all.

Yeah, I know. I feel I'm scared to even say that to you because I feel like I want to be there, but yeah, I thought that I'll come spend some time with mom and dad also. We'll see how life opens up. Yeah, I love you, Father.

Thank you. Okay, very good, very good. So one question before we go to Etienne. I asked if there was a strong question; one has come: 'Is open and empty exactly the same as being aware of being aware?' So 'exactly the same' is like something that the intellect can judge. When you're open and empty, then you don't need to make any of those sort of conclusions. And awareness is always aware, no? Awareness is always aware. So it is not that after coming to satsang we are able to motivate or inspire some change in the changeless. It is only that we recognize deep in our being its very source, which is unchanging awareness. Yeah, okay. Etienne first and then Shivoham.

Yeah, thank you. I am very touched. I'm very happy to always, very happy to be enlightened and made light by you sharing—not enlightened, not the environment, it's okay. And it's so precious. And now I'm also very—I was very touched by the sharing now with Lauren because I feel similar things. I mean, similar, we are all, everyone is a bit different somehow. But I was so happy to hear you say, I don't know why how you put it, we cannot label anything. We have no idea about anything actually, or something like that. And we cannot grasp anything. To grasp anything, we have to contract a little bit, and I recognize it so much. Whenever I pretend to grasp something, actually I go into suffering. And so this helps, this wanting to make things better. I've been experiencing it like many people, like all of us, so much. And wanting to share and wanting to be helpful, that's what touched me in what Lauren says. To be helpful, not even sharing satsang, but just understanding for the sake of understanding and for being helpful to oneself—sometimes even that is already too much.

Yeah, so it's very good. It's very good. It's very, very good. Amazing.

I just feel so called to let go of this, but I'm very well trained so it takes some time. I have to feel, to suffer again and again.

Yes, even this you do not know, you see. Even this you do not know. But it's a very humble, very sweet report. But everything just empty, empty, empty, you see. Empty, empty. What is the biggest help you can give to the world, you see? Now, it is the Buddha actually who said grasping is suffering. Like you said, grasping is suffering. So Buddha said grasping is suffering. So if the feeling is there that I am going to bring others to the end of their suffering, first we must come to the end of our grasping, you see. And when we are completely open and empty, then this divine presence itself will use the instrument as it sees fit, you see, as it sees fit. Because in our mind, we don't even know how to be helpful. We don't even know truly what helpful is, you see. So it's very beautiful. So some have come to this freedom and consciousness used their body-mind just to sit in a cave quietly; in that way they did not disturb the world and they were the most helpful, you see. Some are used to express this in some way or the other, and in that way they're the most helpful. And we do not—we cannot predict, you see. We cannot predict. We cannot say. So just—but we can trust, you see. We can trust. We can trust our divine presence to lead this life in the best way possible. And just to be an instrument, to allow this body-mind to be an instrument to your Satguru presence, is more than enough. More than enough.

Yes, but you know, just as I said, this training is this kind of culture I've been receiving. So when I heard similar words from Buddha, I heard he said in order to heal, you must first experience suffering or recognize that you suffer, otherwise you cannot. So I took it very seriously. But it can also be that spiritual ego because then you have to know what is suffering, and then you become a knower of suffering, and then you suffer correctly, you know? So that's what I am experiencing quite—not so much, but time and again it's quite heavy, I must say. And I am so grateful for the lightness here, the easiness I can share with you. And I think this is the greatest help ever. And yes, I'm very, very grateful. Very grateful because this seriousness, especially for me—but I'm sure it will also be understood in other hearts—this seriousness in the West can be something. And I'm just rejoicing with you now because actually I cannot—so there is not—we should not make fun about it, but it should not be taken seriously either. So nothing about it is rare and good and deep gratitude for this climate of joy, of the looking not dramatized at all. And I fully enjoy it. Thank you so much.

Thank you for such a sweet report. Thank you so much. Okay, Shivoham can come.

Thank you. Hello, hello Father.

Hello, my love. Can you hear me?

Yes, yes. Well, I can hear you very well. It's good.

It's very good. Better than any audio we've ever set up. Yeah, I have a—

Nothing about it is rare and good and deep gratitude for this climate of joy of the looking, not a dramatic, dramatized at all, and I fully enjoy it. Thank you so much. Thank you for such a sweet report. Thank you so much. Okay, Shivoham can come. Thank you.

Hello. Hello, Father. Hello, my love. Can you hear me?

Yes, yes. Well, I can hear you very well. It's good. It's very good, better than any audio we've ever set up.

Yeah, I have a new computer now. Yeah, I wanted to expose arrogance too. And yeah, this what you were saying before about the idea of when you try to grasp on experiences that you had and this feeling of saying, 'Okay, yes, I know, I know what Father is saying because I had this experience.' And I feel that a lot, and I feel a lot of resistance around this. And also some shame about the fact that I'm not yet grasping what you're saying. I don't know how to say it. Well, there is some shame about saying it loud or something like that because you've been in satsang for a lot of time now and you still don't know what's happening. I was imitating the Italian, like, 'When is it going to happen for me? I don't know when.'

And yeah, so I feel actually that... can you give me an example of what I'm pointing to and you don't have that insight? I don't feel like it is true like this.

Well, for example, the notion that I have of resting in peace, resting in myself. It seems that it's not always possible, or there is some thought that the attention is going to some mind activity and the impression that I'm not resting in myself or that I should rest in myself.

So for this one, my simple advice is that this identification, momentary identification, you see, can continue to happen. It happens for everyone. It happens for everyone. But first, be rid of this notion that 'I am not doing good enough, I should be resting in the Self mode.' You see, even that is an option, isn't it? That I should be resting in the Self? And for spiritual seekers, this is a more oppressive notion than the first notion was. You see, we've spoken about this also in the past, that on the conveyor belt, first is the starter. The starter is coming like a salad or something, and sometimes you pick it up and it's fine. But the more calories are in the spiritual unworthiness and 'I'm not doing it right' and 'I'm not able to stay as myself.' All of this nonsense, first we must be rid of that.

Yeah, yeah, I feel those examples.

I'll give you a tip about this because this is similar to what we were talking earlier with the previous two as well. If you would not suffer from this, you see... because if you're only suffering from it because you are spiritual now, then forget about it. If you did not know this before you came into spirituality and now that is making you suffer, forget about it. Like, you did not know about resting in yourself before you came into spirituality and you're feeling bad about it? Just leave it, because it is not helping you. It is that checkered guy. It is like a guy who is using spiritual knowledge to now oppress you in a spiritual way. So everything you think you're doing wrong, just throw it away. Give it to me, because this cannot be done wrong. It's impossible to be aware wrong. Like, try to be aware wrong. Can some of you be aware wrong? Or just be the being, but do it wrong. Like, be the being wrongly. You see, you cannot do it. So all these ideas of right and wrong is what we have to give up. Just be wrong. Your 'I Am' itself should naturally just be wrong. Just be wrongly. I don't know a better way to put it. You see, so instead of the presence 'I Am,' make it the presence 'I Am Not.' Can you do it? Like, the presence should not be 'I Am,' it should be the presence 'I Am Not.' But it should be presence. You can't do it. So nothing that is being spoken here you can do wrong or you can do badly or not enough. You see, none of this. It is just the oppressive aspect of the spiritual ego. He wants to make a spiritual image out of you and is oppressing you in this way. Just become natural like a child, like a baby. Don't worry about any of this.

Like if you're worried about resting in the Self, you show me one moment... like, don't rest in the Self and show me. Come out of yourself. Come, come, come, come out. Out! No, that is the Self. That is the Self. Don't rest there. Come out. Nobody can do it. When you identify with the mind, you identify with the mind. When you notice the identification, then don't pick up any guilt or unworthiness. Just, it's gone. It's finished. It was the past. It is the graveyard. Don't make any sort of bottom reports and say, 'I'm not doing well enough' or 'I am doing very well.' None of these are needed. Let me make them. You don't have to make any spiritual report card about yourself, either A-plus or D-minus or F-minus. You don't have to make any of that. Okay? You see, that will take away ninety percent of your suffering, if not 99.9 percent actually. Our spiritual suffering is more than any other suffering. Relationship not so much, money not so much, health of the body not so much, but this whole spiritual suffering is so-so. And we come to spirituality to be free from suffering.

Don't worry about yourself in any way, especially not spiritually, because everything that you can want spiritually already is. So you cannot do it wrong. You cannot get to it or let go of it. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you.

I love you too, Father.

See Shivani next. I don't see her actually, I just see the hand. Oh, no, hello.

So I don't know if I can talk now. I think he said all that. I think I'm doing the same thing you're doing. I think I'm doing the thing too. You have a club for that? It's called 'Chill out, mate.' But yeah, you said 'truth for truth's sake.' I have to say it because it's... yeah, get it out there. But the 'truth for truth's sake' thing, right? Every time you say that, it's like, 'Ah,' because it just feels like there's no... then I feel like a fraud because it's like, well, I'm not here for the truth's sake. I'm here to make things better.

Like, I gave you this tip before, but I'm going to give it again, and this is helpful for everyone. Okay? If you hear something in satsang which is causing you guilt or unworthiness or these kind of things, just throw it away. There are thousands of other things I say; focus on those.

Yeah, but I mean, but why? Because it's not guilt. It's not like... it just brings up this feeling. I feel like a fraud. That is what I mean by guilt. That is what I mean by this. Forget about it. I never said it. It's all nonsense.

I know, I know. That's what I was saying. I think I'm doing it too. But Father, no, honestly, apart from the fact that I'm doing it too, like, is it really like... okay, so because then this is feeling like, okay, so if I don't just have no reason for this, then I'm coming at this from the wrong angle or something. There's this kind of feeling. I just want to tell you, you've been with me for seven or eight years now. No? Seven or eight years. You have not got anything useful out of this so far, so obviously you must be in it for the truth. Why would you be here eight years?

Out of this thing, there is an expectation, to be honest with you, Father, to like expose it. But then you think sometimes, tremendous patience, you waited for some never-ending bliss or something. I think it's just faith. It's like, yeah, it's just faith. I don't know. It's just... I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm lost now. You confuse me with the whole 'forget it' thing.

It is the nature of the mind to cling on to that which doesn't seem so resonating now. With 99,000 other things I say, and I know you do, but this one thing bothers you. This one... it's okay. It doesn't matter. I'm not telling you the truth anyway. Nothing I'm saying is the truth.

What is that? Okay, so what is that thing that's like agitated by the 'truth for truth's sake'? Because there's all these things like, no, but you know, like the whole motivation was because of being... you know how you used to say, like, 'What's not to like?' You know, I think I write that in a message too about like, well, this personal... I'm not this way. This particular expression isn't like that. It's not like 'what's not to like.' There's heaps not to like. It's aggressive. It's like it attacks.

I have not found anything like that.

That's what you say, but you haven't seen it before.

Oh, actually, I have a list. You come to Bangalore as soon as things open out. And the invitation is for Mike as well, he knows that. So you come and don't worry about anything. Just come. Until then, don't trouble yourself for any spiritual reason. Same advice as Shivoham. Like, this one is wrong, this whole idea that I could be doing this wrong is just nonsense. You see? 'I'm not worthy, I'm doing this wrong, I'll never get it.' What is he talking about? You see, just leave it. The last one you can keep because even I don't know what I'm talking about.

It's just the thing that... but the fact that it bugs me, that 'truth for truth's sake' is bugging me. You know, I don't even know like... I don't want to talk about... ever said this thing. What is this 'truth for truth's sake'? I have never said this.

You know, like you just... it's true. I don't know. You said it today, tonight.

Really? I have no idea what you're saying. Okay, there must be some problems with this. I'll forget about it. I just really wanted to because it keeps coming up, Father. I just wanted to like... okay, so in your case, you're looking for truth because the expression isn't like 'what's not to like.' You're looking to make the expression more likable?

No, just less suffering for everyone. Like, for the truth or less... yes, that's what I've always said. We must look for the thing so that we can suffer less and to be less of a... you know, because like there's a remembrance of being a kid and being innocent and being all that nice stuff, and then this change into this horrible, aggressive, attacking, tantrum-throwing thing, right? So then there's this motivation to go, you know, not for that to not be like that, right?

And that's the end of suffering, and for the expression to be very sweet and likable?

Well, it's not likable. It's more like there's a sadness and a grief about harming and about hurting and about being one of those expressions in the world. It's like that. It's like this feeling of sadness about it.

Maybe you're just cut out to be like a future master like Nisargadatta Maharaj or something. You're just like chopping everyone. Maybe. Anyway, that's just what the agitation comes from because it's like, well, this I don't really want. There's something that doesn't want this to continue on to be this kind of expression.

Not wanting to be like that, which energizes that. Yeah, oh boy, that way, you know, if you keep something is just, you know, wanting to go and say, 'No, no, I don't want to be like that, I don't want to be like that,' that sort of presses the spring even more.

And Father, it's really bad though. Like you say, 'I've never seen it, you're so sweet, Daddy.' You don't see it, Father. Like, it's not good. You did... that's how you know. That's how you're like, 'Oh, what, your kids are hiding in the cupboard? What's going on?' You know, like, it's really bad. I mean, there's a few in the sangha who have seen it. Yeah, I could tell you.

Yeah, so that's why that thing kind of pushes something. It's like... let's try another way. Now, you've tried to deal with this for a long time. I know this. You tried to deal with it for a long time. Now, are you willing to let it be?

Like it, Father. Like, it's not good you did that. That's what, like, that's how you know. That's how you're like, 'Oh, what? Your kids are hiding in the cupboard? What's going on?' You know, like, it's really bad. I mean, there's a few in the sangha who have seen it. Yeah, I could tell you. Um, yeah, so that's why that thing kind of pushes something. It's like, uh, let's try another way now. You've tried to deal with this for a long time. I know this. You tried to deal with it for a long time. Now, are you willing to let it be my problem? Giving it to you would do a good job. Yeah, don't mess this up.

Ah, uh, it's true. I don't know if I was so hard to accept. It's like if someone was a murderer or a rapist or something and you're saying, and they're in satsang and they're like, 'You know, I go out and I do this when I'm not in satsang,' would you say to them, 'Look, you know...'?

Actually, in India, it's true for truth. Um, many, many former criminals who then repented and became sages, and some of our greatest sages have quite a history behind them. So, so you don't know what any of this is for. Just chill out, mate. Yeah, okay. All right. I'm not making this stuff up, okay? I mean, usually I am, but this one especially I'm not making up.

Oh, you know, I trust you, Father. So if you say so. He said, you know, I said, you know, I trust you, so if you say so, man. This is true, actually. I say yes. Good examples we can even send you because, um, yeah, that would be good. Send me. Okay. You come to Bangalore?

Yes. Yeah, I gotta renew my passport. Yeah, as soon as I can, I'll be there. I just needed to banter with my sister for a bit, you know. Yeah, I love you, Father. Thank you.

Okay, the hands. Can you hear me? Yes, I can. Uh, I want to be just in your attention and I'm offering it up all the time and I'm on my own, but I want to offer it in your presence. The belief in being a separate entity and being a separate body-mind, I want to offer it up in your presence also.

That's a big, that's a big prayer you make. That's a big prayer you make, and it's accepted here wholeheartedly. Know that with this prayer, what you're saying is all, all that you want, all that you think you are right about, everything, everything that relates to this egoic identity, you are offering it up.

Yes. And thank you for sharing these satsangs, Anantaji. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you for being here. I see you almost every time, so I'm very grateful that you're here. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, my child. Thank you so much. Okay, we have Madalina next.

Hello, namaste. Thank you. Um, how is it that your background keeps changing every time? I move from my bedroom to the island to the living room when the kids go to bed. What is this painting behind me, behind your head? What is the painting?

It's Mooji Baba's here in France. Yeah, and we have Mooji Baba's blessings here. Look at that. It is very sweet. And we also have Jesus and Mother Mary.

Um, I wanted to expose that I realized there was this arrogance in me after surrendering to you. My expectations about the therapy that you're doing, you're going to do a good job or better than mine. And if I could put a deadline to it, I'd be happy too. Oh, so, uh, maybe, yeah, kind prayer that this bends out. And please guide me from inside on my good actions.

Good, very good. Yes, thank you. Thank you for spotting this. You see, spotting this tendency, which is very common actually, very common. And it is maturity to be able to spot that, you see? Because mostly when we are looking for a master, we are looking for a servant, you see? But we don't notice it right up front. We notice it after some time. But it's good to spot. It's very sweet. Good, good. And your intuitive presence is always there for you, guiding you, you see? And as you are letting go of your conceptual mind, just naturally more and more you'll be guided by your intuitive presence.

And thank you to my brothers and sisters who are sharing in the satsang because it's such a great blessing. And thank you for bringing my mind to heart during this time, I think. And yeah, more and more.

All my love, all my blessings to you, my dear. Okay, I see Siddha. Siddha can come next also. It's gonna be a long satsang, looks like.

Hello, hello. Um, I, I'm hearing my own voice inside. You're hearing too? No, excuse me. I have to... oh, there was an echo. Yes, yes, okay. It was open and completed. So, because I'm in the workplace and for to speak with you I have come to the kitchen space. So, I don't know, but after you spoke with Lawrence about this arrogance, just immense burning has come up. And actually, I don't know what is arrogance, maybe in just terms, and I didn't, I don't know, I never look within for this. Even I don't know, I cannot say if I have or not, but I don't know, just immense burning about arrogance here. And I just want to, I had to, actually I have to bring it to you. And yeah, just this. And actually in my case, I feel like it was playing as, um, the other side of the coin, you know? Like, not... I always think like arrogance is same with superiority. I always take it like this. But also, would you say the other side of the coin is maybe inferiority? And in my case, because it was playing like this, I have a tendency to think like I don't have arrogance or something. Actually, I didn't think, but anyway, just, I really just too much burning about this now. And I, I just want to come up and yeah, you know, actually if there is any, or you are the one who can spot it. And, and I don't know, I want to apologize somehow.

Don't worry. So, I don't feel like you have some big infection of arrogance or something like that. That's, it's fine. That's fine. The simplest definition of arrogance is any idea of separation, you see? The idea that I can separate myself from the one being, God, or the one consciousness itself is arrogant. So, and we are here in satsang because all of us are afflicted to some extent or the other, isn't it? So we are here in satsang to get rid of this arrogant idea that I separated in some way, you see? That I separated from God, that there is a me and there's a you, or there's a me and there's a world, or a me and there is God. So, and what happens is that to admit in this world that 'I am God,' that sounds like arrogance, you see? But actually it is the simplest truth because we are not saying 'I' as the body-mind, I'm specially God or something like that. No. Some say that and that is arrogance, of course. But when you come to the simple recognition of one beingness, of one reality, you see, then it's very natural to say that I am, I am. So, that 'I am something other than I am' is the primal arrogance which all of the human condition is afflicted by, and that is why we play this game of satsang to come to the end of that, you see? So I don't feel like in your case you have like too much arrogance or spiritual arrogance or something like that. In fact, you're very sweet and innocent and very open. You're fine.

One time actually you have pointed out um arrogance when I wrote something to you and it was like my intention was just to earn your love, you know? Just intention was like this. But you pointed out it as arrogance. Not my intention, but what has been written. So yeah, I don't know, I just wanted to tell this. And also Guruji spoke about this too, you know? Like in Papaji's case, he was intended to um finish the meal soon and like doing a favor. And I still don't know exactly the arrogance in it, but I, I don't know. Yeah, maybe you can clear this up and you already done so. Okay, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. You.