Take the Risk - 14th April 2023

Okay, right. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you. Good. Are you sure you want to come round? It is too soft. They sound okay for all of you or...? And sounds okay. Maybe you're just speaking softer.

Yes. Yeah, can you hear me okay? Yes, thank you. So I woke up this morning just with the strong urge that I just had to share this, and it's still not completely full and known. Hold on. All I see is myself and it's distracting. Hold on. Okay, there you are. And I felt like you're speaking alphabetically for a moment. Well, maybe I don't know. So yeah, I woke up this morning and I could use myself. Yes, that too is a little true as well. Yes, innocent. Yeah, I could say that.

So I woke up this morning and it was just—bear with me as I share this, I might need your help a little bit—but so I woke up and there was just this dread and sweating and shaking and hyperventilating. Just woke up like that. There's no narrative to it yet. And then the narrative came like a neon sign and it said, 'You're losing your connection with Father and Father's going like you're not as close to him.' You go so... and whether that has a resolution or not doesn't matter, but it motivated me to come up today and share with you the conversation you gave me.

And it's one of my Isaacs, as you know, and most of the Sangha knows it as I share pretty openly about it. But it's like an attachment to you. And you asked me to ask, 'What does my attention mean to you?' And at surface value, you know, the narrative came and it came as: it means that I'm loved, it means that I'm closer to God, it's my connection to God. And all these narratives came. And then the opposite came after that, and it was: not having the attention means disconnect from God, it means not being loved. And all of that. But I didn't stop there. So I continued to inquire, you know, and then after that, what came was like just more simple labels like needing to be seen, attention seeking, things like that.

And then it didn't stop there. It kept with the inquiry and then I was shown like beyond all labels and narrative what was happening in these moments of seeking attention from you was actually—would happen when fear would arise and then the grasping fear would come and the attention would pacify the fear is what was happening. And but even that narrative aside, even just purely just basic energy, let's say there was like an activation of something and a pacifying of something, like an avoiding facing something. Right? I don't know if this is true. I don't know if you're with me in this. I don't know if it's clear. But so just like this, it felt like death. No, it felt like the fear of death was arising when you wouldn't give me that attention or that reassurance or like needing that hand to hold. Felt like actually just facing the aloneness of myself.

And maybe that's not even true, but this is how it's played. This is how it has played, you know, in this way with you and how it's manifested in this way. I don't know if it's true, but somehow it's seen like this. And maybe you can like help me like clear—maybe I'm not seeing something as clear as I could, but just trying to see it without the narrative of 'Oh, I need Father, I'm attached to him, I need a hand to hold, and if he forsakes me then I'm just dying, I'd rather die.' Like that's not the truth, that's just the words. There's something below that, there's something beyond that that is the truth. It's trying to be revealed, I think, you know. I don't know. I'm sorry, it doesn't make—I don't know if I'm speaking clearly.

It's good, it's good, it's good. So that's exactly what I want you to contemplate because obviously I was noticing a bit of that, and it's very good that you can expose it in front of the Sangha. So the notion that attention from the worldly functioning of the Master implies progress or spiritual growth is actually—we cannot conclude this kind of thing from that. And you'll notice that in many, many stories from the past, we've noticed how there are those who were never in the so-called attention field of so much of the Master in a physical way, and yet they are the ones who became free and are sharing. So yeah, so it really does not... so the mind produces this kind of idea: they're looking if Ananta is talking to you or he's checking in on you or something like that, then you're making some progress and you're really coming close to finding God or something like that. But that is just not true. It is not at all like that.

In fact, I feel like all of my children, all of you in some way, I don't know, very unique roadmap, very unique unfolding for this, and it will unfold differently for each of you. So sometimes of course I may share some things, I mean and distribute in some way where I feel like some will resonate to what appeared here or what I came across, and sometimes I don't. But I can't—I'm not really planning that. I'm not saying that this is how this one will go and this is how that one will go. If I get a particular sense to share something with someone, that's how it just ends up unfolding. So yeah, don't link it to any sort of progress. And in fact, this kind of attaching may be counterproductive in some sense. There's a way in which you can say, 'I rely only on Father and Father is taking care of everything.' That is one way. But the other way is the idea that, 'Oh no, no, but he should write to me, he should tell me first, he should get me involved in everything.' That is not the kind of surrender that we are talking about, not the kind of devotion we are talking about, isn't it?

So yeah, but Father, can I clarify? Like when—okay, so with it wasn't—it's not necessarily about spiritual progress. Maybe it is and I'm just delusional about it, but it was more of like being something was like coming alive with this. It was a block in a sense. Like when you had said that before, you said, you know—I don't remember your exact words—but you said something like there's a like the attachment to you was blocking like me flowering in God basically, you know? And and that was truly seeing like whether like spiritual progress or not, like I don't—maybe that's hidden in there somewhere—but it feels more of like pacifying something. Like attaching to you is pacifying some light, some something that was coming up, you know? And then when it wasn't given, when that pacifying was not there, it would come up even more strongly and it needed—needs to. I know it needs to because yeah, because yeah, just it—I know it needs to. But maybe it is, maybe it is about spiritual progress. I can't say. But yeah, it doesn't matter. But yeah, yes, I have contemplation. I have contemplated. I do see what happens in that sense. I see what's happening and playing. I do. I see the play of it in without the narrative and the story behind it. I do. You know, your inquiry has allowed me to see what's playing, and it's very much keeping the 'me' alive. And so odd that it would play in that way and hide there, you know. But I don't know. Let's just see it. I see it.

So how many fishes does a fishbowl need to have for us to exchange it with the ocean? How many beautiful fishes does a fishbowl need to have before we can exchange it for the ocean? So we'll make the exchange that we'll pick the fishbowl after it has how many beautiful fishes? You choose the fishbowl anyway. I'm aware. So what you're saying is that it doesn't matter how many, because if it's full of the best, most unique, rare, beautiful fish, you never make the choice to live in a fishbowl. So this is, although it's a strange metaphor, this is the real difference between trying to live in the mind's way and trying to live in reality, you see.

Now we may have some ideas or 'If only I had this' and 'If only I had that' and 'If only I had this, I could make this work.' What is the dread? A dread is that something is not working, you see. Like Guruji says, this human thing just doesn't work. So a dread is that: what am I without that? And it can seem like too much of a risk. Then a perspective can be made where, 'Okay, but it's not a human thing because it's about a Master,' you see. So if it's about a Master, then it's no longer a human thing; it's very spiritual, it's very about truth, you see. But like you said in the beginning, that there's a fear that you're going—you're going away from me. But I am—I'm going away from all of you in the sense that how long is this one going to last? How long is this expression going to be here?

So the fact is that the body of the Master—and you're strangely talking about this in another context as well—that the body of the Master has much of in a seeming embodiment, it may seem, is going to die just like everything else dies in this world, you see. So it is a fact that whatever we may be attached to as Ananta as a form is not going to last, see. So given that that is true, you see, and given that something useful is there—something useful is there from his expression as long as it stays in our perception—something useful is there. What is that usefulness? Okay, what is the usefulness of having a Master? Is it that, 'Oh, the Master, okay, you know, he has become close to me and then he's like close to me and he listens to me and I listen to him and all of that happens,' and then he is 65, 70, 75, whatever, he is old and he dies, but he listened to me while he was alive and he used to talk to me also while he was around? Pretty usefulness. But that is what the mind understands. The mind only understands this kind of friendship, companionship, mastership, discipleship, father-daughter, whatever, whatever frame of reference—frames of references we may use. It doesn't matter what the frame of reference is, but it's very temporal, it's very ephemeral. So but what is my real...

And then he is 65, 70, 75, whatever; he is old and he dies. But he listened to me while he was alive and he used to talk to me also while he was around. Pretty uselessness, but that is what the mind understands. The mind only understands this kind of friendship, companionship, master-discipleship, father-daughter, whatever frame of reference we may use. It doesn't matter what the frame of reference is, but it's very temporal, it's very ephemeral. So, but what is my real usefulness, you see? And I feel like, without trying to sound special or anything like that, I feel that by God's grace, discovery has happened here. And I feel like life without that discovery would have been pointless. So when I see you, all of you, my children, I feel like I don't want you to live like that, before I was living in that way which I've been calling a zombie sort of, you see.

So my usefulness is way beyond what any construct or any mind can tell us that, 'Oh, this is what is going to happen and if you're close to the Master and you know you're in touch with him' or something like that. Because what I found is beyond life and death, beyond birth and death, you see. Now the thing is that if we could have it both ways, then we could be attached to things which are in time and also live in the timeless, you see, also do that. But that is just not possible. And I want to tell all of you that none of you will be the first one to accomplish that. No matter how hard you try, you're not going to be the first one to accomplish that: to both be attached to something in the world and also be with God, you see. It is just not going to happen.

And our mind's tactic, in fact the whole persona of the spiritual seeker, is that, you see: attached and also go. It's not that the world must disappear. Remember, I'm saying attached; I'm not saying that they should vanish or cannot be tasted. All of this can be tasted. All the movements which are natural in this functioning can also happen. But if you're going to close your office and the openness that is needed to live in God's light just cannot happen. This cannot happen. So, to put it simply, anything which is special, individual, personal, that needs mental understanding—which are judgment and interpretation and comparison and all of these things, you see—will get us more and more attached in this world, more and more caught up in our concepts rather than being. So that is the source of the question. So when I asked you, if you had my attention, what does that mean for you? Yeah, that is the contemplation that we are sharing. So if you did have my attention, what does that actually mean?

Like, so when I see it, what that actually means is it's like basically just like a magnified ego.

Exactly. So just to, in a sense, you shared in some way to saying that, like, what is the meaning of anything that has its basis in the world? Can you rephrase that? The sense that, what is the meaning of anything which is perceived, you see? And what is the way to determine the meaning of that? Like, just in pure perception, you mean?

In pure perception, yes.

In pure perception, is there something like that kind of meaning anyway?

No, it's just... no, not in pure perception.

And does that mean that this is absent of intelligence?

No, not at all.

So this is the main point. Yes. Now what happens when you are not attached?

Just, there's no... it's just there's a...

Is it like a robotic way to live?

Not at all. In fact, looking at the lives of the sages, you notice that they are living much more beautiful and beautiful lives, although they are not attached to anything at all.

Our philosophy is upside down. It's really upside down. Now, is there anything missing in terms of what you need to have—the tools you need to have, the pointers you need to have, the attention you need to have—that enables you to find God? Is there something missing in that?

There's nothing missing. There is not, you see.

And this is my question for all of you: that is there anything missing in terms of the guidance that you're receiving, in terms of the pointers that are available to you, in terms of the insights which are shared with you? Anything that is not enough coming from here which enables you to really, originally—I'll use the term—undertake this journey from head to heart?

No, you've provided everything. Laziness and stubbornness here, maybe. Okay, but we don't have this... empty is good. We don't have to judge yourself or anything like that.

So if all the tools are with you, the pointers are with you, then when the mind offers up other problems that you need to solve—like 'Why doesn't Father give me attention?'—you see, you think that is helpful or that is just going to become a distraction? Total distraction, you see that? So yeah, so I want to bring you to a point from initially where we may say something has to come to resolution and then we can become empty, to a point where you can say, 'Oh, I spot this is mind and I am empty,' you see.

If you look at most in the world, they are struggling with the notion that 'This is my particular problem. My marriage is a problem, my kids are a problem, my money is a problem, my health of my body is a problem, my work is a problem, everything is a problem.' And 'I will rest at peace only once I have come to a resolution of that.' How many have you met that have come to a resolution of everything? But even if outwardly they claim to be very peaceful, they feel like, 'Ah, this is good,' you see. They seem to be quite free from all of this. If you spend some time with them, you realize that a lot of things which may be festering inside them, which they're not allowing to come onto the surface, which actually may be even counterproductive. So it is not through the process of resolution, but the process of surrendering it, to letting it go to God's light, which is very, very difficult for the ego, but it is the most effortless way to live.

So if you're walking from Bangalore to Mysore, how many times you have to cross Sri Lanka? Okay, oh look, you don't have to cross. The pointing is available to you, the physical presence in satsang is available to you. So what happens is that the mind has a very absurd job. Its absurd job is to try and convince you that something is more valuable than God. And with the Master, that's a very tricky sort of situation. Okay, that's a very tricky sort of situation because you may say, 'Oh, but Master is also embodiment of God,' like that, you know. But you can smell it on yourself then it is coming as just a devotion, which means that it is for the Satguru presence which is within yourself and maybe a lot of reverence for the form of the Master in front of you. But you can get a sense when it is not really about the Guru, the presence, the holiness inside you, but more about like a judgment, like an interpretation about what something means.

And then how it flows with anyone is impossible for us to predict. It's impossible for me to predict. Now there could be somebody sitting in this satsang saying, 'When I asked Father the same question last time, he just told me to stop it. He just told me to stop it, or it's just your mind, get over yourself,' you know, something like that. And when Keisha is asking, then she's getting so much attention and so much explanation and things like that. So if you fall into that game, that is never-ending. Like, 'Why does this one get this treatment, then why does this one get this treatment?' Like, we cannot really put our finger on it, which doesn't mean that you cannot offer feedback and things like that. It only means that I can honestly tell you, I don't know why I'm explaining things in so much detail to you, and maybe the next one that comes will get just a 'Stop it,' you see. Then you say, 'But look at that, this is partiality, this is not fair.' Also as children, in terms of how that functions.

But if you're clear—because it's a very big statement, you know—you're clear that everything you need to find God has been made available to you. Everything that you need to find God and to live in God has been made available to you. What could be your next sentence after that? The absurdity, isn't it? Who, how many can say that firstly in the world? Okay, the very first-world problem it is to say, 'Yes, you've been very clear, you've told us how to find God's light in minute detail as much as is possible to point out,' you see, and beyond. And actually all the tools, all the pointers that are needed are available with us; we just have to follow. So first we must recognize the grace in that, the privilege in that, and secondly we must not waste it at any cost. And how does the gift get wasted? It doesn't. When we are wasting it, we don't think we are wasting it for life. When we are wasting the gift of God, nobody feels that we are wasting it for our entire life. We just feel like we're wasting it for today, you see. This 'for today' it is. 'Today I have to solve this problem, today this problem, this problem,' you see. And soon life is over, you know that. In the recent past, I've seen some of that in my family.

So it is not that anybody leaves this life, whoever, let's say those who are even slightly interested in God, nobody leaves this life feeling that they will not give God more focus, more time. Nobody leaves like... everyone feels like tomorrow onwards, not tomorrow onwards, full on. Sometimes because he never says no to him, you see. He only says, 'Tomorrow.' 'Can we fill up that form for your college?' 'I'll do it when? Tomorrow.' 'I will speak to this one tomorrow,' you see. So everything is only tomorrow. And this is a very, very... it seems so innocent and humble actually, it's not saying no, it's tomorrow, you see, later. You don't even, you don't always know that you're doing it though, you know, it's not always apparent.

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely right.

So we don't realize it, you see. But look at what we just said. We said, and all of you nodded, 'Is everything that you need to find and to be in God available to you?' Most of you said yes. Now you realize you may be in trouble, so you're not nodding as much. But if that is the case, then what are we resolving? What other things do we have to solve? How about we reverse it? We say, 'Okay, we find and we live in God first, and then we'll solve all the other problems.'

Father, that's what your inquiry did. It wasn't just about the surface level of what I was inquiring into; it showed me that I wasn't valuing God.

Yes, yes. Value God above all else. Yeah, above anything with your self-concern. Is it anything which is about me? Even that, whether I am valuing God, or I am... because very quickly, you know, I've had these conversations over many years with so many. So what can happen is that, yes, value God, and then we start tracking, 'How much am I valuing God? Yeah, I'm valuing God.' This is again who becomes a central protagonist to me. So it is very, very sneaky, it is very, very tricky usually. So just empty is easier than moderately empty. It may sound strange, okay, but somebody told me and it occurred to me it is very true about this. They said to me that abstinence is easier than moderation. I realize that this is true, you see. So just empty actually is easier than picking and choosing and saying, 'Okay, this is... I am going to engage with this,' because then it just... you're stuck in some way. So just is much easier than moderately empty. Okay, anything comes, you see, anything comes: God's problem, Guru's problem. If you want to be attached to me, be attached to me in this way, you know, and tell me if I let you down then. Tell me if I let you down. If you make everything my problem, make everything my problem. Okay, so to let go, to use the Master in this way, that we can just surrender everything to them, is one of the best benefits of having a Master. And if you don't do it, then it adds to more struggle, you see. One child told me very sweetly, of course, and all of you have very good intentions, I'm not questioning them.

To be attached to me, be attached to me in this way, you know? And tell me if I let you down. Then tell me if I let you down if you make everything my problem. Make everything my problem. Okay? So to let go, to use the master in this way that we can just surrender everything to them, is one of the best benefits of having a master. And if you don't do it, then it adds to more struggle, you see. One child told me very sweetly—of course, and all of your very good intentions, I'm not questioning them—one child told me very sweetly that 'I don't come to you' or 'I don't come close to you because I know how much you take on from us.' So they're just like, what they're saying is, 'I will not flow because I don't want the ocean to become more full.' Oh, so I'm not saying, by the way, that I am the ocean and no, no. I'm just saying that is drawing a metaphor that you just have to let go of all of that.

And this was the difference that happened here when I went to Guruji versus all the other spiritual shopping that I did. That whatever life, it squeezed the daylight out of me, or for whatever reason, I just felt like as I met Guruji, I just felt like, 'All his problem now. All his problems.' So this is very, very helpful. When we let go of everything, then we also let go of our interpretations and our meaning towards something. Because can we really determine? Do we have the tools, you see? And I had this big note that I sent to most of you about the human condition and the nature of the Maya. So it is in the human condition that we are stuck with this sort of mind. It has the ability to ask the questions, you know, big questions: Why does this happen like this? What is right and what is wrong? What is good, what is bad? What is free will versus God's will? What is all of this?

But where is the capacity in that bundle of thoughts to get an answer? Does a holder of concepts, a basket of concepts, can it really understand the functioning of God? And it is human arrogance, like the strangest form of human arrogance, which I'm noticing more and more these days. These are judgments about God and God Himself. Okay, how could God do this? It's like not even like a drop talking about the functioning of the ocean; not even a cloud talking about the sky and space, you see. So what we're actually doing in that is that we are making our intellect superior to God's will. Like, 'I understand things, you see, and I am going to make judgments even on the way God is running this universe.' Yes, that's a strange sort of absurdity. And this is the state of the human condition, that we feel like the answers that we derive in the form of concepts, which is meaning basically, is meaningful.

And that's why if anybody comes and offers anyone, 'I'll tell you the meaning of life,' see, 'I tell you this is the meaning of life,' you see. And by now, most of you daily reviews read every possible interpretation of the meaning of life, you see, and you realize that it is not possible in that way. We are not capable in our heads of understanding the meaning of life, the meaning of anything, in fact. Imagine if you were not trying to figure it out; we would just have so much free time to be with God. If you're not going, 'But why?' And we don't have a single 'why' answer to a 'why' that we can report back and say, 'See, I asked why and this is the answer and this is the truth, really.'

So it's very funny what's coming to me. So when I was very young, my parents, they moved to a small country in the Middle East called Bahrain. So in Bahrain, what happened is that I got this bug for reading. So I would read, reread everything, everything. There was a beautiful library which the British Council used to run close to my house. But it just occurred to me that my father, every week he would buy me this book. It was the 'Tell Me Why' series, no? So the first one was 'Tell Me Why,' the second one was 'Still More Tell Me Why,' and then 'Here's More Tell Me Why.' But that is a very good metaphor for the human condition. That's why, why? And do we ever have a good answer? No. We just settle for something and we feel like this is the answer. The answer never lasts anyway. We just have to admit that the tool that we have in the form of our mind is incapable of these deeper questions.

And that is where Buddha's statement about the fifth is important. So if a question is asked to him, 'What is the meaning of life?' he may say 'the fifth,' you see. Note that he is not saying it can't be done, not for you, not saying any of that. He's saying 'the fifth.' And the fifth is where the intellect cannot get. So some of you may be hearing this the first time. The first is that something is true. The second corner of the room is that something is untrue. Most of our life goes in these two corners: true and untrue, right, wrong, good, bad, you see. All of that, we determine these two corners, you see. So those who like philosophy and maybe they've done some meditation or just something has opened them up, they may feel like the other two corners also: something can be both true and untrue, and something can be neither true nor false. You see, you may see that this is a nice openness, but the real truths are to be found beyond these four corners. So this is the fifth.

What is that feeling? Until you do not come to that instrument which shines the light on the fifth corner, till then we are playing with the wrong instruments, at least for this job. At least for this job, you're still playing in the mind, intellect, judgment, interpretation, and all of these things. And that is why all the questions in the invitation, the question of the inquiry 'Who am I?', so many questions you hear in Satsang here as well, they cannot be answered using our traditional mechanisms because the nature of God cannot be understood in that way. So why the fifth? He should have just said, 'Shut up, you have no chance,' you see? But he was not saying that. He was pointing us to another way in which the fifth becomes apparent to us, okay? And that we use the way of the heart, the way to live in God's light, the way to live in Satguru presence, to be in Holy Spirit. The terminology is not important. All of us have the tools now that we can live in the heart moment to moment.

The way mind is coming, yes. And I can tell you that any Satsang, any true Satsang—doesn't have to be Ananta—any true Satsang, if you just hear any master sharing, in that time of sharing, all the tools that you need are made available to you, okay? So now it is no longer enough because you notice the mind trick which will come and say, 'Oh, it is just habit,' 'Oh, it is just stubbornness.' It is not enough because what are we doing with that? We're still doing the same thing, which is determining the nature of something based on the mind's interpretation. So we still may go back to that. The mind waits for us again in that: 'I think I know what is happening to you. It is only because of habit, only because you're stubborn.' Something. How are you without making a single judgment about you or the world?

Because till we become empty like that, all the talk of God will just be conceptual. We were joking the other day, and maybe you will share this Satsang on Wednesday, we were joking and saying, suppose it was not like this. Suppose that Shri Ram and Sita Ji, they were wrong when they said that the lane is too narrow. 'I think the lane is too narrow. There is not enough space for me and God.' We were wrong about this. We did some more science and, you know, technology has improved, so now we can tell you that there is enough space for the 'me' which is the ego and for God. Would anyone wish that on the world? That somebody egotistical finds God and they can run on their own terms with shining in God's light? Nobody would wish that. Because our own terms are only slightly bearable because we don't have any power. Maybe if we have God's light with us and we were running on our own terms, Ravana multiplied by a thousand. Thank you.

So nobody wants that for themselves or for the world, isn't it? So thankfully, by God's grace, that may not happen. So therefore, if it is impossible for us to be egotistical and for God to cause light to shine on us in that way, then we must stop being egotistical. Because it is not going to happen otherwise. And egotistical sounds like a very scary word. 'I'm not egotistic, yeah? I'm the least egotistical person you could ever find.' So what is egotistical? Egotistical means still attached to a narrative of meaning, still has a story which seems true about the non-existent ego, the non-existent meaning. Hmm. So which one of your stories is not about you? Okay, you see? In fact, we don't enjoy them at all. We read a book or go to a movie, you can't relate to the story at once. 'Yeah, I didn't enjoy that book. I couldn't relate to it. It was not approachable at all,' right?

So till we are able to insert the 'me' into something, we feel like we can't enjoy that. Good. So that's why I'm saying that complete abstinence is easier because without picking and choosing, without saying good, bad, nothing, just leave it on inwardly. Okay? Not your house, really, jobs, families—none of them. Inwardly become open. What is the worst-case scenario? Your life is going to become a mess? What do you think will happen if you keep following your mind this way? Mess is coming with the mind anyway. You all know that by now, you see. We've been in Satsang long enough to see that. But take the risk. Become an open mess. Okay? I get to see one. I get to see one who's like open and a mess. Have you seen one this sort? Is it many? Of course, reported to me that, 'Oh, but I'm so open, still I'm suffering.' So what is the problem there? The checker guy, no? The checker guy who's constantly checking, 'How open am I? Yes, yes, I'm quite open.' That itself is the restriction to the openness, you see. That itself is the frame, the lens through which we are meeting this world.

So all of Guruji's pointings, which are like, 'Live like a set of eyes,' or somebody like a Douglas Harding, was it? Where being headless, you just... you were never born. You were never here then. And through some strange privilege, you're getting to perceive all of this now. But is this God who's asking, 'Can I live like this forever?' No. Because you were never born. All of us want to live in the unborn, but we can't. Why can't you live in the unborn? As long as you are around, you were born. So do we all recognize that it is not going to be something that I will attain or get to? And by understanding, this is not going to help you attain that. Most of us feel like, 'Okay, we're just following what we're hearing, that is for me, so that one day I can just get this in.' So that is the half-and-half stuff. So if you just drop it, then God may come.

I'm saying God may come because I am nobody to give a guarantee. I am nobody to give a guarantee. But without you doing that, I can guarantee you that it's not happening. As long as there's a 'me' around, not happening. Now you're empty, possibly. Now you're empty, possibly. No, possibly. But meaning, 'What do I do? Is it coming?' Not possible. Just can't work that way. And all of you have to be very careful, unless you have to be very careful, because you're being exposed to a lot of subtle things and many of them are flowering for you. This is the time where the ego will really fight back in the strongest way. Try to make you special, or 'I'm really getting further,' or 'Even I've gone beyond further now.' You see what came to me the other day? 'And Father never said this. Don't you feel it's so cool? It's so direct.' Just be very careful.

I wish, and my prayers and blessings are always for this: may all my children share God in such a beautiful way that people may also wonder, 'How did this beautiful child come from Ananta?' I am happy with that. But don't make that judgment onto yourself. This is why a pride really comes for you.

It is not true. Not true. I just feel to say it's not true, but I cannot really explain why. But also your phone is ringing. It's not nothing. What do you say? What do you say? Remember? No, I feel... you feel this.

Prayers and blessings are always for this: may all my children chair God in such a beautiful way that people may also wonder, 'How did this beautiful child come from Ananta?' I am happy with that. But don't make that judgment onto yourself. This is why a pride really comes for you. It is not true, not true.

I just feel to say it's not true, but I cannot really explain why. But also your phone is ringing. It's not nothing. What do you say? What do you say? Remember, no, I feel, you feel days. You don't even know who's on the phone, no? All right. I don't know what I feel. I feel this: there's not a God, maybe only God is, but even we cannot catch it anyway. We cannot catch it in words anyway. So maybe you're open and empty. Possible. And then we'll see what happened.

Is that a few hundred years back, no, India is the place where a lot of this spirituality, spiritual debates, all of that happen, you know? There was a big sort of—the main debate of the time was between the Vedantins and the Buddhists. The main debate was about Sunyata. It was the Buddhist saying there is no God, there is nothing, nothing, nothing. Vedantins saying that there is Brahman; Brahman is all there is. It is the unmanifest as well as the manifest. All is Brahman, of course. And hundreds of different types of Buddhists and hundreds of different types of Vedantins with their own modulations of these things. But basically, the main debate is that. Now the modulations are about whether there is Jiva, all that stuff. We can debate all of that now.

The main one at least that I've come across in Buddhism who was really, according to me, the king of negation: everything, no. Is there a Buddha? No. Okay. So one day his Sangha members—the story goes that he and his disciples, their Sangha members came, or some other Sangha Buddhist Sangha members came and said, he said no. Then he said that, 'Why you call yourself a Buddhist then? How are you a Buddhist?' Then he explained that in the lack of grasping and even the notion of Buddha, whatever keeps us away from our Buddha nature, and therefore a conceptual emptiness is the only way to attain the true Buddha, which is exactly what Vedanta is saying. Neti neti: not this, not this, not this, not this, not this. Still you cannot—I mean, now if upon this, and this has to be shared carefully because it can become part of the conceptual grasping, okay?

So if upon all of this we do not discover the one that is the light of this universe, then we might as well just be like nihilists or like a branch of philosophy which is just like, there's really nothing, no, no, it's not that. There is a deeper meaning which we cannot understand conceptually. There really is no meaning, just like like that. So but what is the difference between satsang and nihilism? Nothing, nothing. Whatever the highest you can think of, let's get this open. We integrated everything, you see. So he's basically doing the same thing as—but I want to tell you that nothing is very good, that God's light is everything and God's existence is real is very good, if you can transcend that aspect of your being where these seem like opposites and therefore troublesome. Then you are free. So there is no difference between the pure zero, Sunyata, and the reality of the everlasting being, everlasting Self. Will the mind never be able to reconcile these two opposites? No. But we don't need it to. We don't need to, no.

Yes. Oh, it's you hardly see the same today. On Monday, I think you were talking about the difference—not the difference—you were talking about inquiring and you were talking about—am I audible? Belly difference between inquiry? I can, yeah, I should be wearing my headphones. I where they are. You were talking about the difference, you were talking about inquiry and you were talking about medicine and like just say no, not this, not this, not this. And then you said, but also you can say all is God. And these two understood, and what you're saying now, it reminds me of the contemplation that came after that because it seemed that there is no difference between saying not this, not this, and this is actually. A while back you said, 'Let me just pick one of the two.' And then don't you mean to say that there is—it's completely different and yet there is no difference? For the mind there is the difference, but in contemplation it's the same. And is there any difference in anything without mind?

Hmm. No. Easy. So all differences, all distinctions arise only in the mind. And there's a beauty about this. Instead of Neti Neti, it is encompassing. Yes. Do you want to know what you prefer or what you don't prefer? Would you like to do what you prefer or what you don't prefer?

I don't understand the question in the sense that I got a sense you're saying that something feels better if it is all-inclusive rather than a negation. So I'm just saying that what—what do you prefer to do, what you prefer or not prefer? It's a circular question.

So when you're saying I sound really low, I don't know what you're asking. You're asking me what I prefer or—no, I'm saying that suppose you were to make a preference, okay? So suppose you were to make a preference and say, 'This works best for me' or 'is best for me,' but you recognize that the tool for preference-making itself is fraudulent, then what would you prefer?

That came at the time was with the Neti Neti, there can be sometimes the mind makes it into a rejection or, okay, it's not that if I need—so something needs to be fixed because that's not—that should or that should not be there or something like this. But in this other way, it's the—and I understand what you're saying as you were using—but nothing actually is very simple. It is just like, I am perceiving this, it is not perceiving me, it is not aware of me, I am not that. I am perceiving this or I am aware of this, it is not aware of me, I am not that. It's—we don't have to complicate it at all.

And the only sort of reason why I'm reminding you of this is that maybe your mind is just trying to save itself from that which it finds very potent. I'm not concluding, I'm just—we're just conversing. I think that you have to be a little careful of our preferences when we say, 'Ah, this is what happens in Neti Neti and this versus this is what happens in inclusion.' And when we say that, 'For me, you know, I just feel like, yeah, I prefer to do the Neti because I can just say it and I don't have to include them like that,' you see? So I'd be careful of that also, really. So if you can just—if you're clear that it is coming from your heart, then it's absolutely fine. But if it is a mind judgment, then I'd be very—continue to be very open either way about it because the mind is not going to help you do the job of bringing you from it.

So what if it comes from verifying?

What do you mean by verifying?

Just in contemplation it's verified that there is open.

Yes. But what—what is the tool of verification? In the sense that, can you verify how many of us are in this room today? You see, you may say, 'Yes, I can verify it. Give me a minute, Father. One, two, three.' So you say, 'Okay, the tool of verification is the counting and my intellect can store the number,' you see? And we can proceed in that way. So now, what is working better for you to become free or to come to self-knowledge? What tool of verification can we trust?

But we can know when we're open and everything.

Okay. So now you're open and empty. Then if the mind says you're being open and empty or you're being very distracted, is that—is that annoying? What is the knowing of when we are open and empty? How is it to be known? And you are not saying that—you're not saying that we shouldn't take one way of inquiring, are you? Just because—

No, I'm not saying. If you had said the other way, I would have said also this way. And he's saying that it's very difficult to negate the negation process also. And I don't feel like it's that easy for us to be able to say that this is better or this seems helpful here, unless it's very clear intuitively, unless it was Satguru presence within is guiding you in that way, you see? We cannot really—maybe it is just one other mind will fight it with all its might and say, 'No, no, he gave us such a good tool the other day, we don't have to do anything, we can include everybody.' What is your heart saying? The only time we can become deterministic is when it is intuitively apparent to us, the guidance. You know what I mean by deterministic? Like we determined that this is better, this is worse, this is right, this is wrong, this is for me, this is not for me. We cannot become deterministic about any of those things, you see, till it's apparent in Maha, in your heart. And you will lose nothing in that openness. Only the mind will feel very wobbly. 'Then what should I actually do? What should I actually do?' It can have this question.

I like it because it feels like you're contradicting what you want that to me now.

Yes, as always. How much are we determining about ourselves? We may feel like that is the only way to live: 'I have to know what is better for me in hours.' No, you don't, because your heart can guide you. We must—all this may sound very absurd to you—you must all stop being scared of being mentally confused. And we are mentally—we feel like we are mentally confused, it feels like a very oppressive state. It is only because our attempt has been to try and make meaning over there. So the first part of satsang, that's all I spoke about. What's the problem with confusion? Like, 'Who is your master?' 'I don't know.' 'Which practice?' 'I don't know.' 'Where do you live?' 'I don't know.' 'What are you going to do with your life?' 'I don't know.' Or, 'I guess today I thought it is this morning, I thought it's something else, now I'm feeling something else.' Fully confused. We hate that, no? And we meet somebody like that who's there, 'What a waste, fully confused,' you see? If you came to the satsang and I was just like, 'I don't know what to tell you.'

So this confusion has become more bad thing in the world, and that's why we are constantly in this battle, besides seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, to just remain in clarity. 'I want to remain in clarity, clarity.' But that kind of conceptual clarity cannot be found, cannot be found. You will build a framework, you'll bet your whole life on it, and like then—but like most philosophers at the end of their life will refute everything if they are honest. The greatest philosophers have done that. So what's the difference between a philosopher and a sage? Maybe to communicate, uses a particular framework but does not really invest in it, does not—is not really saying that that framework is the truth, is just a mechanism, is it? And this sage is constantly saying they don't know anything anyway, it's all nonsense. Whereas a philosopher has determined this, this sound—I mean, they even if you did, then the next guy comes then with you, isn't it?

So no philosophy really stands the test of time, versus spirituality seems to be different. How is it that thousands of years ago some sages wrote something in the Upanishads and then thousands of years later illiterate beedi seller says the same thing? Just very natural. What is the source of knowledge which we can truly rely on? We are talking about this the other day. We are saying that it is clear to me that this universe is just one out of millions, like fireflies they go and come, they come and go for me in my reality. And just a simple statement like that caused a lot of stuff, no, in all of you, which is a good stuff. This is a good still saying, 'How is he saying that? Is that a belief?' A belief? Is it a spiritual experience? A very good question. The life, did you zoom out and then you saw like that, like a spiritual experience, like a out of body, really amplified out of body? No. Not a believe because that would just be conceptual. Not the perception because that would just be a perception. But an insight. That is the tool for discovering God or finding the Self. How to use that tool? Stop using the other ones. Take the risk.

A good still saying, how is he saying that? Is that a belief? A belief? Is it a spiritual experience? A very good question. The life, did you zoom out and then you saw like that, like a spiritual experience, like an out-of-body, really amplified out-of-body? No, not a belief, because that would just be conceptual. Not a perception, because that would just be a perception. But an insight. That is the tool for discovering God, or finding the Self. How to use that tool? Stop using the other ones. Take the risk. How many of you want to risk your life for these intuitive insights, Guru presence within you? Just to sound, make it sound, you know, truly willing to risk your life, then the temptation of the mind will not seem that compelling. But if you are not willing to risk your life or an aspect of your life, then if I said to you that to be free you have to let go of one thing, what would you say no to, to your masters?

A man came the other day, he said, 'Okay, I'll let go of everything, but do you guarantee that I'll find God?' I said no, because then it won't be a risk at all. It won't make that... it sounds like a very good exchange: leave this world, find God; leave this world, find God. Okay, now leave this world, but just because you love God, but no guarantee. No guarantee that you will be free, that you will be enlightened, nothing. In fact, your worst fears may come true on the street. You don't know. Maybe that is God's will. Up for it? Everyone know this much: the Guru had these beautiful words, simple words: 'No risk, no faith.' That was the exception to the whole philosopher I used. Well, God, well, Maddie, yes, but a little louder so we can get it when you bring it. Just come close, come close. It's fine when you're close. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, good. Yeah, okay.

Um, yes, we were talking about awareness and consciousness and at one point I asked about whether consciousness is of something, if consciousness needs the world. Consciousness is the world, needs the world, yeah.

Needs, needs, needs. Consciousness needs. Is that your sense, that consciousness needs the world? When you say that, do you mean that, 'Oh, I need the world' like that? Or are you saying that to confirm that there is consciousness, there must be perception of the world?

Yes, exactly. That was the question at the time. And then I opened 'I Am That' and he was talking, he was talking about exactly that. And I think he uses consciousness slightly differently.

Yeah, I want to tell you one thing. I may get in big trouble for this, but I feel like the translators of 'I Am That' were a bit, like, confused between consciousness and awareness. So sometimes they use it like that, sometimes they use it like this. Overall, it's a beautiful book, it takes us beyond the limited ego, but don't look at 'I Am That' to give you confirmation in terms of the subtleties, the qualitative seeming subtleties of the term awareness versus the term consciousness. And it's a very tough thing to expect a translator to get that from the Marathi that Maharaj was speaking, to translate it accurately. Awareness and consciousness, it will be next to impossible. And you'll be surprised that maybe in Marathi also they aren't, or maybe even in Hindi. Like, Maharaj was speaking Marathi. I don't know, do you know this Marathi? Different words for consciousness, awareness? Even in Hindi, it's a beautiful stretch.

He seemed to be saying different things, but the good thing is that Bhagavan's English was very good, is really good, so we can rely on his pointings. I mean, if you really want to get the big guns into it—sorry, I said if you really need to get the big guns into it, you can rely on Bhagavan's English because his English was exceptional. It didn't really matter because it brought me to the same space, whatever it said, as you do. And then afterwards I contemplated on—sorry, go ahead.

Brought me to the same place.

With me, you mean that communicatively? Or is this about you coming to some space in the sense that is subtly there, a desire to be in a particular state, and all of this somehow becomes a medium towards that? Not about a state, but still about me?

No me, it's not there, not there.

And you like that? Do I like that there is no me? Yes, of course. Into very subtle areas today, because sometimes you can just... something can hide the same, 'Oh, I prefer this' or 'This is better.' And actually there's no difference in this because both, in both, I am this way. I'm just spending something slightly over there which I can't let you go with. So who is this about? Tell me again, this whole thing.

Yeah, it's not about something installing, not about anything. And then better versus from whose perspective, which is from story, just from this phone, from mine, from mine, yeah.

Okay, so tell me something true. Is it cold for anyone? You can turn it off. Is the first thing that comes is 'I love you, Father,' but even in that there is duality, you know? Are you trying to let me get me to be less choppy? No, jump away, Father. Yeah, just investigate further into this, contemplate deeper into this thing, because just a couple of times today I got a little bit of sense that the seeker is trying to, trying to control the journey in some way. That one mind always tries to control, yes, yes. But when I'm saying it is trying to control, I'm being nice, trying to sound less choppy.

So maybe some, what I'm saying is that maybe some belief is going into that kind of thing. Oh, did you leave? No connection? Me, I'm here. Hi. Your position switched on the screen, it's like you're on the next page now. So what was your Zoom hand up before that? Maybe that was about that? No, no, I didn't. Anyway, it's not happy. Did you? You know, it's fine, it's fine, I can see you. So, of course, it's really never about what the mind is attempting to do, only what we have to keep smelling for is: is there some identification with that? Is there some grasping at that? If you followed your heart and you read because your heart guided you in that way, but you did exactly the opposite of what was needed for your freedom, would that be okay?

Because I followed my heart, yes.

But you for 20 years you did all the wrong things which took you away from freedom. Yeah, but suppose someone came and told you, and someone who spoke the truth came and told you, 'Oh, what you've been doing is self-inquiry, you should have been a bhakta. Your temperament is that of a bhakta. Really, you wasted 20 years.' And yeah, not me, but somebody like you, can somebody that the world may trust? Usually no, I don't care. What is the risk you're taking? Everyone's, yeah, every risk, every risk. What are you risking at the moment? Not at the moment, in general these days.

How often I feel like maybe I'm not risking enough.

Just risk the spiritual outcomes. Just risk it all. Just leave it, everything. There's a risk you may be confused for the rest of your life. You may not know which is better for you and which is worse. You may not even know which is the right path. But you're not going to determine anything in your mind. If your heart never speaks, never gives you the slightest guidance also, you will not follow the mind, even if that is interpreted in some way. 'I have been confusion,' like she's a really confused one, she has no idea. Everyone in Argentina says, 'Georgie, she was so clear at one point, now look at her, so confused.' Okay with that? We could take hands and hands. You start speaking.

Yeah, Father. Um, can you hear me okay? Yeah, I've just... I'm not finding any fulfillment in the world, you know? Not... like I don't find... I find a lot of frustration, a lot of my expectations and hopes are just being not met. And, you know, yeah, I'm hoping it's a blessing to, you know, make me less interested in the dream. And, um, yeah, I just wanted to say that more and more my hopes about the world, about living a life in the world—work and relationships and home life and all of this—is being frustrated. And, um, any guidance that you have or any, you know, yeah.

So some whistling, some things, maybe there was an actual word which I'm saying because we don't get so many of them here. So if we are spiritual, you see, what is the meaning of being spiritual? That there is a person interested in spirituality, is that what spiritual is? And therefore, by virtue of being spiritual, we deserve more peace, more satisfaction, more joy, more love? Is that spirituality? I would say that that is a sort of New Age type spirituality, which is a fake spirituality. Spirituality simply means that it's about the spirit, and spirit is God's light.

So if I am spiritual, then that means that my life only has to be about God's light, not about me, and not as a means so that if I can let go of the me, then me can be better. You see, it is not an attainment of something in this world. So God will then be the medium through which I can get to a better place? It is about how well... if we are going to judge something, then that judgment should be: how well am I being in service to God? What is all of this for? Who is all of this for? Is my love for God just a convenient means to get something in my life? And I'm not saying that it is this way for you or any of you. I'm just saying that when we come to this end of this question, we realize that whatever is left of me, may that just be an instrument in God's hands to do with it as God pleases, and not so that we can in any way have a better set of perceptions which we may call our life. How are we so far?

Yeah, yeah. There are definitely moments where I wish for some enlightenment to enjoy being me more. There's a lot of confusion about what is the right thing to do, what is the right way to go, what is the right path to follow. I don't know, I don't know.

And okay, so let's go really smoothly on this because there's so much to talk about in these things. So firstly, we could not be offering up emptiness, you see, as a tactic which can get the me to some sort of better position. Emptiness is a sure innocence, a sure zero, where if you somewhere hold on to the idea that that emptiness should lead to something, then it's not really an emptiness, isn't it? You see, the room has to be empty, but you are lurking in the corner waiting to see what happens after that. You see, then that's not really empty, isn't it? So I'm not saying something really complicated, I'm just using this metaphor to explain that what we do is we try to clean up the furniture, we try to move everything out, you see, and then but we are still waiting there and say, 'Now empty, I'm empty.' No, empty of you. Is it like... then what may happen is that we may say, 'Oh yeah, I am out. Is it working? I'm out. Oh, is that... did that work?' So we're not really going out, we are just playing hide and seek with God in this way.

So a good antidote to that is to remember that spirituality is about God and not about you. That you became spiritual is God's way to spread His light, not so that you can become something, you can become special or you can become free or peaceful or happy, none of that. Because in this strange sort of play, in this Leela, there's the force of the mind which seems to be controlling most of humanity and there is God's light which seems to be rare at this point. But when we switched over sides from the ego shadow to God's light, then God has to guide the way, show the way, and whatever is experienced here must be only about God. It must not be about, 'Oh, how is this helping me?' You see, that is the first part. That's about true emptiness versus an emptiness that we can try and use to become something, you see. So till we don't die unto ourselves, then we may have glimpses into God's light, but it will seem so difficult to remain in God's light.

So, and what is the way to die to yourself is to become unattached and completely open, non-resistant of everything. That is the first thing. The second thing is that you never meet a heart which is confused. You never meet unless you're calling some emotional state the heart, but the Satguru presence...

Till we don't die unto ourselves, then we may have glimpses into God's life, but it will seem so difficult to remain in God's land. And what is the way to die to yourself? It is to become unattached and completely open, non-resistant of everything. That is the first thing. The second thing is that you never meet a heart which is confused, unless you're calling some emotional state the heart. But the Satguru presence is never confused. Your intuitive presence, your intuitive life, God's light is never confused.

So, this is why I was saying that it's completely fine if your head is fully confused, you see? Because what I find most of you are still doing is trying to resolve your mental confusions instead of remaining in the heart, because you feel like that is stopping you. It is not stopping you; it is just a distraction, you see. It is just saying, 'This problem is there. You fix this first, then you'll find God tomorrow. For now, let's just resolve this particular problem that we have.' So this is basically an attack on God or a distraction from God.

So let your mind be confused. I am confused about everything. Like, I have no idea how to share something, you see? I have no idea what my path is. Am I Advaita? Am I a Master? Am I like... none of these. Horrible at everything, possibly. I have no idea what all I can do. All I can do with full heart, wholeheartedly, is to come and sit here and just allow my heart to speak, you see. So is my head clear about what Ananta's path is? No idea. Somebody said to me the other day, one of the children here said somebody was saying that you share Advaita Vedanta very well now online. I was confused about that, you know? It's okay. Let your mind be fully confused as long as you are not concerned about its judgments. How can its confusions bother us?

In fact, the mismatch between the strange play and where the play comes from—the mismatch between that and the mind's ability to understand—is infinite. So if you had a lot of mental clarity, then I would be concerned, you see. But if you are confused, I am very happy in the sense that your head is confused. But if that turns into your belief that you are confused, then maybe not so happy. But allow your head to be confused. You live in God's land, but that can only happen when it all becomes for God, about God. So risk it all. That seems to be the theme for today, isn't it?

Can I ask, how do I know when it is all for God?

Yes, yes. When the mind offers you temptations which are for the 'me,' but you can stay steady in the guidance or the presence of your heart, then you know in your heart that this is for God. And it's moment to moment. You can never say, 'Oh, only this life is fully for God.' We may have that intention, but it has to be lived out. Only this moment: are you going with your mind's confusion, then temptations and problems and assertions and interpretations? Or are you unconcerned about the state of your life because God is with you in your heart? And we have every reason to love God. Every reason. But at some point, our love must go beyond reason. It must become an unreasonable love for God.

But even if you were to do this rationally, we have every reason to love God. But I am pointing you to that which is a serious infection, a serious God infection. It is unreasonable, which may be even interpreted by your mind and the mind of others as insane. There is a fear of losing control, of giving up control. Don't wait for that fear to go. We risk it. This is what I mean by risk, because the mind will tempt you and interpret your emotions in a certain way and say, 'Ah, this is what this is.' Risk it for God. Stop expecting it to be easy, firstly. Expect it to be really difficult, and then whenever this comes, okay, good stuff. But I risk it for God. Whatever you have to offer from the mind, you see, I'm not in this for myself. Whatever is God's will, only that will unfold.

You cannot live in God's light and be with self-concern at the same time. What is the worst-case scenario? What is the worst-case scenario? What will happen? 'I lose my job and my relationship and my home.' Lose your job, you lose your relationship and your home, and maybe you followed the wrong Master, you did not even find God, and you risked it all and you lost all of it. I'm not even saying in exchange for God. You make that exchange—that sounds very noble and holy and all of that. I'm just saying that I am inviting you to take the stupidest risk of your life. Really risk it all in the heartfelt intention of finding God.

So, the metaphor that may be helpful is that if I said to you... what is the city you're living in right now?

Dublin.

Okay, so if I said to you that if you cross a very dangerous street for ten seconds, I will promise you that you will have the best relationship in your life, full of love. Let me say ten seconds, most dangerous street, Dublin. It's not one of the most dangerous cities in the world. I'll risk it. So now I'm telling you that there's a chance that you may find God. What are you willing to risk for that? Poverty? No love in your life? Not even finding God? No meaning, no fulfillment, nothing? Take the risk.

I feel like I found God already and, yeah, okay, I've just become re-interested in the dream, the story, the personal story, you know?

So, the finding of God usually when we talk about is the remaining in God. The remaining in God. So, finding and remaining. But because just finding and then leaving is as good as not finding, it may be worse. So to find and remain. As you remained, you find that it is impossible to have individual will and individual concern. Did you, or are you the first one to make it happen, that you managed to separate the land very neatly between the 'me' and God, and you managed to squeeze both of them in the same land? I doubt very much that any of us can make that happen, you see. And that is the beginning of the thing. I don't know if you were there, but that's what I was saying: that is the endeavor for most spiritual seekers, that they will be the first one to accomplish this thing where the ego can still remain while continuing to be in God's light.

It feels like there's a responsibility to the 'me' that's living the life. That if there was no life, no opportunity to live a life... sorry.

I have to stop you, okay? So please, thank you. But 'me' is living a life? Which means this one... who is this 'me' that's living this life?

The one that I believe myself to be from time to time.

Oh, what's happening in the life of the caterpillar on your nose? And don't you have a responsibility towards that? You're getting where I'm going with this. A made-up responsibility for a made-up entity doesn't make it real or valuable. Yeah, so sometimes I believe in the story of the 'me.' Right now, you're believing that sometimes you believe in the story. Yes. This empty, my dear, empty. And this is a fresh start. Every moment is the first time. God is fully here for you. Just let go. Don't worry about what happened in the past, you see.

We can only have, if at all, responsibility for something, you see; we must have it only for an existent one. You cannot have responsibility for a non-existent one. And the existent one is just this life itself, God's life, Being itself. And that is exactly the responsibility that I am reminding everyone of. We have let go of our responsibility for the true existent one for a non-existent entity, just a fictional character. How much understanding and intellect do we need to remain in God's light? There's nothing that can be done to take you away from the space of God.

There's something can be done?

So, in the sense that you're absolutely right that as a fact, nothing can be done. But I've never met someone who can be in the hypnosis of even one thought and that it does not seem to them that they have left God's life. Never met anyone. Just one thought. In the hypnosis of one thought, it does seem to them that they have left God's life. So Satsang is an antidote for the seeming. It is not an antidote for reality, because in reality nothing has changed, nothing has ever happened. And if you were not suffering from the seeming, then we would most probably not be here, you see. So it is the medicine for the seeming. It is the antidote to the seeming alone, you see.

Now, as we continue to suffer with the seeming because we rely on our memory or what we've learned, we may try to say that, 'Oh, but in reality nothing is happening.' But that is true, but that's not helpful because it's all about fixing what seems to be true rather than being actually true. So if we were to confine ourselves to only that which is actually true, then there's nothing really to talk about. Is anybody here? Because we have the seeming problem. The problem itself is the seeming. We have a seeming problem. The Leela is... we have a Leela. And it is impossible to let go of the Leela problem, the Maya problem, while relying on conceptual knowledge. And that conceptual knowledge may even be about an absolute reality.

You can try this. No, open and empty. Very naturally, most of us are living in God's life. But try to believe with heart and make it not seem to you that you are limited. It will seem to you. You cannot escape it. That's the design of this play. And of course, then we are working on solving non-existent problems. But that concept also is not helpful at this point till we get rid of the seeming problem. The only way to live in God's life is to be empty of 'me.' We cannot do both. Your mind will attack that, will be confused with that, your intellect will hate what I just said, but it doesn't matter. Those things don't matter, you see.

You've seen many in the world today, because there's so much reliance on the intellect, which are trying to make an amalgamation of just, according to them, the right amount of ego and the right amount of God in their life, you see. It is not going to succeed, okay? It is not going to succeed. So either that is possible, or then the sages were wrong when they said that the lane is too narrow. There can either be 'me' or there can be God. The only way out of the seeming is to let go of self-will and self-concern. That is the big fear. For that, notice that there's an aspect of your being which is unattached by that fear, and you have to hold on to that for dear life. Because if we were to let the fear stop us every time, then it's an endless journey.

We attach to something that is not going to die. Is that a better way to put it?

Yes, I like that. It's felt that way. When I said it, this may feel better, but also observe the need to always feel good.

Thank you. Ananta, can I speak? I just come forward with a prayer to you just to empty me of 'me' and just remove everything that is not me and all the attachments, and just merge me with you. That part that keeps what you were saying before, you know, coming to the Self and then still keeping that bit, you know? So this is the prayer: that only You remain. Amen.

Is there something that you're hoping should happen as the outcome of the prayer, maybe?

Yes.

Just leave it all along with the prayer. Leave all outcomes. What it should mean for your life, how what that should look like, what should happen or should never happen after this—all that you have to leave. All that.

I guess it's because I have a memory of an experience that this happened, where I just... there was nothing. And so therefore there's that little thing keeping there saying, 'Well, it's not like that.'

If you go to a dark empty room, there'll be nothing. So what with that? Who wants to climb that ladder again? I'll just mute everyone once because... is it just me hearing? Is there an echo?

Happen or should never happen after this, all that you have to leave. All that, I guess it's because I have a memory of an experience that this happened where I just—there was nothing. And so therefore there's that little thing keeping there saying, 'Well, it's not like that. If you go to a dark empty room, there'll be nothing.' So what with that? Who wants to climb that ladder again?

Oh yeah, I'll just mute everyone once because is it just me hearing? Is there an echo? You can come now. Is there an echo? Oh no, it's fine. No, there's some whistling, so I'm not sure what. Maybe it's because my husband is hearing next to me but with the earphones because he couldn't hear you properly. Sorry, no.

So we're just exploring whether, of course, it's a beautiful prayer, but somewhere we can hide also in some spiritual expectation, someone spiritual. I don't mean this for you, but many times it can happen that there may be no real difference between our spiritual prayer and a worldly prayer. Many times it can happen like that, that we pray spiritually so we feel like, 'Oh, that's good.' But just as we saw someone who's saying, 'Please give me a better car next year,' we may feel like, 'Oh, that's not—what kind of prayer is that, you asking God for a better car?' But if at the root of both of those is self-concern, then it's basically the same.

Oh, by the way, please don't take this to mean that I'm saying that we must not pray for anything. If we really believe something, that it's better if it was this way, then there is no other place to take it than to prayer. Over there, to put it in the altar of God in our heart is the best place to put it. Otherwise, we may just hide it in our minds. It's very good, if we feel like something is true, we must bring it to prayer. It's very good. I'm just saying that we can look deeply at whether there's a whisper of individuality, something hiding there, just to make sure that it helps us to become even more empty. And come on, next one. Who's quick to draw? Not quick to the raw. You didn't start speaking now, you can't start speaking so slow. I'm kidding.

Now, but right now, I just wanted to say, hey, I'm sorry that I put my hand up and I put it down, but something is coming here to tell you that this one likes to be liked. This one, the person, just wants to surrender it at your feet.

Did you make—now you made another one. There's nothing. So what is absurd about that, Sapna, is that the entity itself does not exist. The one who's having the dream itself doesn't exist. Getting what I'm saying? So it's not just about dropping the expectation of being liked or not liked, but also to realize that who is there? You think who's there? And that's the message I sent you also.

Yes, nobody. I just find, Father, when I'm interacting with people, this habit tends to come up of wanting to be liked. And the fundas of 'be kind,' 'be this,' 'be careful'—the fundas come up very strongly. And we've noticed, all of us have noticed, that when we try to do that, it doesn't really serve its purposes. You know, neither authentically kind or loving in that way because we're trying to pose. We're trying to live up to a stereotype that we've created for ourselves and it doesn't usually turn out well. Is it fear here, Father, of being irritable or angry or losing it?

Yeah, but what happens is that as you don't allow it to just be natural moment to moment, then it will just fester, fester, fester, you see? And then when it will come, it will already come that you don't want. So just moment to moment, don't worry about anyone liking you or not. I only like you, no? One point, that will be enough.

Thank you, Father. Hello, yeah, I just want to say thank you. It's kind of really difficult to shake a situation with so much mind madness. Could you bring me back to my heart in such a big way? Epic, you know, from the point of madness something starts to transform in the heart when I hear you and I see you. I'm ever grateful. That's all I wanted to say. Thank you.

Thank you. It's all good that you're able to join us for longer today. Usually you have to go early.

Yes, I have to stay with my mother, but today has been a boon. Remember your boxing metaphor? What did you say? The Tyson of satsang or something? Yes, Mike Tyson. But you do, you just boxed my mind until it submits. I'm always giving you recipes and... but it's in deep gratitude that you are like, I don't know, you just so helped me come out of the mind back to my heart. All my love to both. See you.

Next one. Yes, yes, my dear.

So Father, we were speaking about confusion and... take permission from your Guru. Yes, yes, I have texted her if I can ask a question. She is in a deep trance right now. So you were speaking about confusion and all of that fun. So recently, things are happening like everybody's asking me why am I doing what am I doing, and I am not being able to answer. And so, and then as you were saying, everybody's saying that I'm confused and I don't have clarity. And when I don't have clarity, how will I give clarity to someone else? And so this is clear that I'll be put onto medications again, or you know... and then that meditation again. Leave the right medication. And I'm—it's a struggle to prove that, you know, how do I say that I'm trying that trust? Because the people who are questioning are close to me and it's just... and when somebody questions Meera, it's very, it's very... I feel very angry also. It's very—not angry, but it's frustrating.

Okay, so you want acceptance about your confusion, but you want them all to be clear and not confused about what's happening with you. Okay, why can't—why are they so confused? Like that, something like that? Yes. So if you were expecting that the world will be okay with you being confused, then you have to also allow others to be confused. Why are you expecting clarity from them when you yourself are confused?

So let's see if we can look at this in a way that you follow a way of the heart rather than worrying so much about confusion or clarity in your head. So what happens? What do we call confusion in our head, actually? What is confusion?

When I'm not being able to explain and... okay, not sure about it.

Yes, I'm not able to explain to yourself or to others? Others. But you're clear for yourself what is what? Anything is like, if I say to you what is happening in your life, you feel like you are clear, but it's only difficult to explain to us?

I'm also not clear.

Right, so it will not just be to others but also to yourself, isn't it? Now, what is needed for confusion is that you need two opposing thoughts, you see? If you just had one type of thought, then no confusion possible. You need two opposing thoughts, you see, which seem to be almost equally weighted. So then you're confused: this or this, this or this. Okay? Just like if this was a swayamvar or something and you found two very handsome boys and you're just like, 'This one or this one?' You can't pick, you see? So you're just stuck over there. And very confusing, both the boys have gone. You know, like that is the nature of our confusion when the mind proposes that there are two truths and both of them seem equally true, isn't it?

Now, the only way out of this confusion is to try and not bother with either of them in your head. You see, your mind will tempt you and say, 'Pick one of these and then you will get clarity about your life.' But you will never get clarity about your life by picking a thought, you see? The thought will say anything, but it's just such a minuscule representation of what this really is, you see? So if you say, 'No, no, I had a great satsang with Father,' no, that could be one thought. Another thought will say, 'No, no, I had—I was trying to understand Father, but I didn't understand anything.' You see, that is another thought. Now both of them will be thoughts, but both of them—either of them—will not represent what is real about you. They are just posing, they are just masks which are posing to represent reality for you.

So then where do we find the truth if the mind's offer for clarity today is just so that it can confuse us tomorrow, you see? So that's why often I used to say today's conclusion is tomorrow's confusion. So if it is not to be found in our head, then where can we go? What is true clarity? You see, because notice that mental clarity is a very provisional sort of state where you may be thinking, 'Oh, I'm so clear, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do that. I am so clear.' How long does it last? It doesn't last, you see? It doesn't last for anybody, as much as they may fake it. Any of the conclusions, they don't last for long, you see, because that is not the source of truth anyway.

So there must be another way to live which is independent of the mind's confusions and conclusions. What is that? We following what Meera thinks and... yeah, also what is Meera Ma saying? She's in really deep transformation. Okay, what is she saying? See, this is trust in not forget God. Yes. So in doing that, what happens is that whether your head is full of thoughts or it is empty like a yogi, it doesn't matter because you are living from your heart. Now this heart is not an emotional center, you see? It is not that. So many people say, 'I am all heart,' you see, but basically the same, we just follow the emotions. So one day like that, one day like that, because it is the emotion.

So in your heart you can be guided moment to moment. How to follow the heart guidance? There are two ways in which to live in the heart. One is to allow the heart itself to unfold everything that is happening without involving your head, you see? And the second is when you—and usually the second happens once you've lived in the first way for a long time—then you will also start receiving guidance from your heart. And that guidance may be very confusing for the mind, but if you're determined to follow your heart, then you become unshakable in that, you see? Okay? So first is just to be open and empty, allow everything to be the Master's problem, God's problem. Not to worry about the conflicting thoughts in our head, allow it to unfold. And the second is when you start hearing the holy whisper in your heart. And always good to get confirmation from your Master whether it's authentically that or just your mind posing as if it is. Then when you start hearing that, then you follow that at all costs. Just so we've taken the head out of the equation completely, so it doesn't matter. But thank you. No, but not right now. Okay, thank you. Does it sound difficult?

What is the difficult part of it? You know, relax with what... what is that? Another mental conclusion?

Yeah, it is, it's a thought. So just keep spotting that. And faith is your shield, it is your defense which will keep you safe from your temptations of the mind itself. But don't fall for the spiritual thoughts of the mind posing to be coming to help you. But if you are open and empty and everything, your life just becomes a mess, then it's already—it becomes even more of a mess. Okay? Okay, then what will you do? I'm not predicting or anything, just contemplating together.

It's okay, I'm okay.

Did that come from your heart or your head? Do you have a taste of what it is to live like just in your heart a little? Yeah? Okay. So don't exchange that for anything—any excitement, any temptation from the world, any offers from the mind. Just in your heart and naturally if it unfolds in a particular way, it's absolutely fine. But live your life to God's light. What are you most scared of?

And there's so many of them. What is the most—what is the worst case? Right now, being taken away from satsang, like being taken away from Meera.

Yeah, being taken away. Are you—are you like a teenager? Oh, okay. Why do you feel like others can take you away? See, like it—it is difficult to fight.

What makes it difficult? I don't want to hurt, actually.

What I may say, because my children are maybe probably closer to your age, so parents or well-wishers really, they want to see you...

What are you most scared of? And there's so many of them. What is the worst case?

Right now, being taken away from satsang. Like being taken away from Mooji. Yeah, being taken away.

Are you like a teenager? Oh, okay. Why do you feel like others can take you away? See, like it—

I'm... it is difficult to fight.

What makes it difficult? I don't want to hurt, actually. What I may say, because my children are maybe probably closer to your age, so parents or well-wishers really, they want to see us happy. They don't want to see us unhappy. So, to be happy, you just have to be empty. Papaji said you need nothing to be happy, but you need at least one thing to be unhappy. But what is happening for you is you are creating like a battlefield in your head, which is more dangerous than the battlefield which is outside you. So, I don't think the trouble outside you is... um, just in a way a milder representation of the trouble that you're buying into for yourself. So you're creating this sort of mental battleground. Actually, it is not a battleground. Yeah, you have to not love mostly, not love anything which is like stupefied or a narrative or any sort of, you know, thing which you can see, 'This is what is happening to me.' Just be empty of that. Easy. And as you be empty, then your whole presence within, your whole demeanor, your whole presence will change. Then you don't have to be worried about the world, because if they're truly well-wishers around you, then they will want only for you to continue to be happy. What stops you from being happy right now? Like even for a moment or two in the middle, you go into sort of a madness. Can you do that without a thought and show me now? Don't believe a thought and become sad. What is the story of your life? It's never anything that our mind can capture. So firstly, what you are expecting out of others, you have to do yourselves. You have to do yourselves. You have to be... you say, 'I want to stay in spirituality and you want to stay with your guruji,' but nobody should take you away from her, you see? But you have to follow what she's pointing to. Empty yourselves, you see? So then people say, 'Ah, but guruji is really helping her. Why would you want her to be away from her?' But if you go to satsang and then you continue to follow the mind's proposals and stories and things like that, obviously people around you will say, 'What is the point of this? Why is she going? She's just becoming worse.' So the battleground is more internal than external. It always is. Is it? Because what happens is that if you are truly empty, then somebody tells you something, it... from your expression only, it will be clear to them that what they're saying is not true about you. You see, what the sense I'm getting is that when they're saying, you also not fully like clear that your heart... that really fully, fully, fully in this, and you're not trying to come to any sort of mental conclusion. Means all, yeah, let's go wrong. So just apply to yourself everything that you're hearing in satsang and then get out of any sort of story. Is it naturally then people who start coming to you to learn meditation and rather instead of offering you medication, sorry about you. Thank you. Thank you. Are you fully able to meet what I'm saying?

How do you feel like... it's not really clear what living in the heart means. Like, is it like a fresh position that we may build up in our head itself? Frankly speaking, when God... when you speak about God, so I don't know what God is. And heart... I don't understand the term heart fully. But there's this presence, this space in which I can see the thoughts and everything, all the perception and all that coming and going.

Which way do you find the presence? In the sense that, like I can find my hand is there and is there. So I find it like this. How do you find the presence?

There's a sense. Sense.

What is its color, shape, size?

So because there is no color, shape, and size, it's beyond.

Now, what can take you away from it? What can make it seem like the presence is not there?

When I believe that.

Is there any other way to do it? But doesn't belief just happen?

What are those times and who decides that?

I only decide. So I want to propose to you, and you can experiment with this, that nobody can force belief out of Consciousness unless Consciousness wants to give belief to a concept. And you're Consciousness itself. So, you know, thought is powerful enough to hold Consciousness hostage. So nothing can force you out of your openness, out of your emptiness, unless you as Consciousness want to play that game, want to step out of it. Contemplate with this. Thank you. All right, next. Yes.

Thank you. I want to bring some doubt because sometimes if you... when you speak, I like... um, saying, is this life only for God? Or is it because she's... or is it okay to seek for happiness? Like, you need to long for real happiness or for even for bliss? Because I remember even she said it's okay to seek happiness. Like, it's not because it shouldn't be for me, for the ego. I cannot be happy as ego, but like to vanish. And God is also the greatest bliss on... yeah.

So if you seek without the ego, can I speak without the ego? In a way, it's the ego, it's some individuality or some spiritual person seeking. Yes, it's a simpler question. So we may see beautiful work Mooji said, and full reverence to her of course, that and similar to what Papaji said, that when we are empty, we are naturally happy, which is the same as him: to be happy we need nothing, but we need at least one thing to be unhappy. So the thing with this is that when we hold on to even one thing, you see, although very temporarily it may seem like some desire is getting fulfilled and we are happy, but that is bound to come with some unhappiness. Fully agree that the ego cannot really be happy. But if happiness is found in the absence of 'me', isn't the seeking a reinforcement of the 'me'? I know it's a confusing question, so let me help you a little more. So how would you see happiness? What is the process of doing it? So suppose I say it's all fine, you can seek happiness, very good. How will you go about doing it?

Well, I would... hmm, I would look inside. Like I was saying, look inside or look for the source of, yeah.

How to look? To what instrument should we look for ourselves? Yeah, okay. It's very close to say yes, like you're being interrogated or something. Just relax, don't worry. Looking together. Okay, just relax with this talking. So we are saying, okay, let's together, we are going to look for happiness. We are going to seek happiness. Now we are just exploring. Okay, if you were to do it, how would we do it? You said beautiful, that happiness can only come from the Self, from the true Self. So I must find my true Self. Now what is the mechanism or the instrument or the tool by which this exploration can be done?

Not sure what you... um, maybe the attention.

The attention, yes. I'm back again. So yes, you were saying you see it with the attention on you or even coming to satsang. Yeah. So let's start from now here. You're in satsang now. Let us seek happiness. How to do it? Is it believing the thought, 'Oh, I want happiness, I want happiness, I want happiness, more happiness, even more happiness, constant happiness'? In the process of seeking happiness, correct? You see, no, no, it's not being empty and—

Yes, yes. Now, can you be empty and seek at the same time?

Okay, then yes, there's a difficult question of you because what means to seek? Yeah. So let me just say that maybe one helpful thing I can say to you is that, okay, so seek happiness is fine. The way to seek happiness, you're right, is to be empty. So it is your seeking for your happiness which has got you to this emptiness. Now stay empty. Okay, that's fine, because there can be no further instruction after seeking this, after staying empty, isn't it? Yeah. Is it like in the invitation Mooji says, you know, even leave aside the desire for enlightenment because it brought you there already? You don't need it anymore. Is it like this? Yes, yes. If you want to definitely conclude that you're on the right track, so I'm giving you that reassurance that okay, you followed all the best advice. You were seeking only happiness, which was fair enough to do, and you realize now that the only way to be happy is to be empty. So now you're at this point. Now don't rewind and say, 'Okay, now is this the right path, wrong path? Am I on the right track?' Because you're here and you're empty.

But... hmm, clear. Yes, I'm sensing a bit of a bug. Maybe I just was just about to pick up some thought again, but just like, yeah, socially like that to—

Good, very good. You notice and you just let it go. Notice and let it go. It's very good. Every thanks. Thank you. Did you paint the painting behind you yourself?

It was my father, biological father. He made this painting.

So beautiful. Yeah, you know, thank you. Thank you. Father visited her in Haridwar or...

Actually, you saw... he saw her once in her physical body, written, yeah. But not like... it was long time ago, of course. Yeah.

Let's go to the one that has allowed everyone to come before. Yes, very good. Did you just wait for everyone to finish, let them go first, or were you trying and didn't...?

They were all asking my questions. Those questions, I cannot ask any better questions. There you go. I just want attention.

Thank you. Stay in Delhi? Yeah, from... we should come to Bangalore sometime. Actually, whenever, whenever life makes some space, I'll be very happy if you can. All my love. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today.