One Moment of This Insight Is so Pristine, That This Whole Human Life Is Blessed – 17 September 2021
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides a struggling seeker to move beyond mental effort and past experiences, pointing toward the simple, intuitive self-knowledge that exists prior to thought, perception, and the sense of being stuck.
The trouble with inquiry is not that people don't do it well, but they do it too well.
You can know something without having to perceive or think; that is self-knowledge.
Self-discovery makes no demands on our attention; it is more natural than that.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Now, just to share, it's been a bit difficult again and I know you said it's not—I mean, I know it doesn't have to be always good—but sometimes it's really hard and the state becomes so close and so negative. Yeah, I just want to say that. And even like, it makes me feel like hopeless and even don't watch Satsang, and it's a struggle to come up and all these things. So I just wanted to say that, that I'm just stuck and hopeless and nothing will help and I'm just gonna suffer like this forever and I'm really bad and it's my fault. Yeah.
And when you hear this, you must be checking on: does it feel like to disturb the question to check who is this one who was not worthy or stuck or any of these things? Or as I have said before many times with this question...
And I feel either I'm not doing it right or I don't know, I don't get to any... I feel there's a strong energy of me.
So the trouble I've seen people have with the inquiry is not that they don't do it well enough; usually I find that they do it too well. So you have to do it a little more simply than that. Like many have reported to me that 'I can't do the inquiry,' but I notice when I check with them that they're trying too hard and they're trying to see something or something. It's basically a simple question: who is it that is stuck? Because the body is not stuck; it is moving, it can walk around. So who is the one that is stuck? Just like a conversation, let's do the inquiry like a conversation. Don't try anything. It's just somebody says, 'How many people live in your house?' or 'One, two, zero, whatever,' 'Which city you live?' So who is it that's stuck? Actually, trying is not muted, so at least that much we see—that we cannot find such a one.
Yes, I just don't know how to answer to this question. I don't... I cannot say I don't find it. I don't know why, maybe because I'm much in the mind trying to do something. I don't know. As you said, like something very simple, that either you could find it or you couldn't find it and you had to pick one, which one would you pick?
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If the question itself is that difficult, then it cannot be that natural for us to say 'I am stuck.' Because who is stuck? 'Oh, I don't know.' But when it comes, it comes so authoritatively: 'I am stuck, I am stuck.' But then the response to 'Who is that?' or 'There is an I that is for certain but I can't find it'—then how can we say that is I? Or could it be that I which is that I which you are does not conform to any ideas of the mind? So the I that you are finding yourself to be has no way to get stuck. So let me see if I can introduce you to this in some way. You are aware of this hand, the perception of this hand. Can that be stuck? Are there two or three of you sitting there inside?
No, but it's somehow I don't find this 'you' who is... I know it's me perceiving the hand, but I don't know, I cannot... I don't feel it or know it, know about it to say that it's not possible to be stuck.
Very good. Okay, so let's look for the 'now.' What would you have to see to be able to say that 'I did find it'? Would you want to see an image of yourself or you want to have a nightmare? Yeah, what would convert...
I remember, I remember probably I'm comparing to... I remember a time in Satsang where it was so clear and easy, like I could just see that I am like a space, kind of like a space, and I cannot be stuck because I have no substance to be stuck. So now it doesn't feel like that, like I cannot recognize this space or something.
That's simpler than that. Yeah, somebody asks you, 'What do you see in front of you in your room?' You don't look and you say, 'Okay, oh yesterday I saw that in my room.' You can look fresh. So let's forget about all the previous experiences, all the previous... now we're just keeping it very simple. You are aware of this perception of this hand; that is pretty much undeniable, isn't it? Now this 'you'—how are you aware of it? What is its shape? Maybe it's just like a sense of being here, a sense. And who is aware of that sense? If it was between you and Madalena and Satyam, who is aware of that? Now this 'you,' how are you able to confirm? Is it an image that you see of you? As simple as possible here. If you make it difficult, it will become difficult. Just take a little child. If I was asking a small child, a five-year-old child, 'Are you aware of seeing this hand?' 'Yes.' 'Do you see that you?' That's it. You see, now your mind will try to confuse that simple statement. 'I don't see it, but I know it.' Do you have to... do you know it like a thought? You know it? No, you see. So neither do you see it perceptually, nor do you have to think about it. It is some other type of learning. Now, is there anything else that you know in this way without having to see it, perceive it in any way, or think about it? Is there anything else you know in this way?
I don't know. I want to say no, but I don't know.
This is the only thing that you know. Think. Good, and good thing that. So that which the mind just neglects because the mind doesn't understand what you mean when you say 'I just know it.' You see, it has no way to capture that sort of insight. See if you can just stay with that knowing. See, rely on that knowing more than any other mental mode. Even if the words sound absurd to you, happy to see that it's quite amazing. You can know something without having to perceive or without having to think. That is Atma Gyan, self-knowledge.
But is this the same as what Guru says is 'I Am' or is it different?
This knowing is aware even of the sense of being, isn't it? Now I say, if I say to you, 'Try to stop being,' you'll notice a presence like an 'I Am' presence or beingness. Even that you are aware of, isn't it? So this is what he says when he says 'Before I Am, Awareness.' What is the way to know yourself as pure awareness?
There's just so much from the mind, like all this like complaining and like disturbing, like I can't focus on this. Yeah, even on the presence sometimes it feels...
Self-discovery, self-knowledge makes no demands on our attention. So even if attention is all over the place, it's all dissipated everywhere, now you are aware of the perception of those or not? To find that 'you,' did you have to use your attention? Because attention is limited. To confirm that it is you and not Madalena, did you have to use your attention? No. See, it's more natural than that. Isn't that so cool? That's the best part about this, that no tools are needed. So let attention go wherever it wants. Who is aware of them? It is you. How is that known? You just know it. That 'just know it' is actually exclusive self-knowledge.
And then what comes now is like, how can I use this recognition to not suffer anymore? Like something feels... yeah, but I'm still gonna suffer. What can I... how can I... I don't know.
So what's that thing? Suffering is only possible if you take yourself to be anything other than this 'you' that you're just recognizing intuitively in your heart. It is very simply recognizing it now. If you take yourself to be something other than that, because it is a lie, it is inbuilt with something. Now, is the 'you' that you are discovering in this way, is that one afraid of the substance?
I don't think I discovered it fully because I can't say this. Like when you ask me, 'Is it me that I perceive the hand?' Yes. But is this suffering? I cannot say, like I feel...
Stay with that in the same place where you recognize that it is you. Don't try to force the answer in your head. Don't try to force yourself to see something. Just easy. It's true and easy. Don't worry about anything. If you're making effort, you're doing too much. Just with pure innocence. Then if the answer doesn't come, it's okay. Same place, intuitively some answer may appear. It is not the answer which is so important; it is just that you get used to looking intuitively. That is the point of the whole invitation. It is not that Father is concerned about the answer. No, no, no. He's just getting us used to looking intuitively. And the mind says, 'Oh, you're not getting it, you don't see it, it's not this.' Okay, and then yeah, the mind can keep saying whatever. It's okay. Don't worry about the mind's judgments. Can you allow all judgments to come from me? If there are any judgments, as a good teacher I should be able to judge you well, isn't it? I was saying that as a good teacher, you can allow me to have the judgments about you which are relevant. And if you say 'I'm going to teach you about this, I'm going to point you to this,' then just take the judgments which I give you. Don't bother about any other judgments coming from anyone. Makes sense, isn't it? It's the same looking when I ask you, 'Are you aware now?' Don't you know about your awareness or yourself as awareness in the same way without having to use your perception or your mind? Try it. Try it. Check. Are you aware now? Same intuitive insight. So my judgment is that you're doing very well. And one moment of this insight is so pristine, that this whole human life is blessed.