In Perception Alone Is Nothing to Believe - 26th April 2018
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides seekers to recognize that suffering stems from the 'non-existent nobody'—a false sense of individuality. He emphasizes that one's true, unchanging existence is already present and requires no effort or judgment to maintain.
The voice of the mind is the voice of a non-existent nobody; you are the unchanging witness.
Without judgment, is there something to prove or somewhere to go?
Forget about being right or wrong; in your original state, there is no mask to wear.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Namaste. Welcome to satsang today. Baba, he says they have a bigger question that has been broadcast for a long time. So, if you will, what is still left to be done? What was to stop you? Were you disappointed or is there somewhat left? Actually, in reality, you're not subject to pain. Then does something force you to attach yourself to that which is subject to pain? We can say, kind of, it's a force of habit in a way. That's only once you see that you are this unchanging one, that this is the end of time, because time applies only to change. Now, what is your reference point? That which is changing or that which is what I mean by the truest reference point? Some say, 'I am not this' and 'I am all of this,' but in unequal measure. Always and only all of this when I dance. So, when your existence comes up and you are 'I am,' then all of this dance is there. Before that, in a table, then automatically upon waking, is that so? What are the prerequisites that are needed for there to be true being? It has to be there. It just woke up from sleep. Being just came. I don't want it to be a joke. We can start. We pick up now the beauty of belief and truth. You can say that belief cannot operate on most appearances. It only operates on one particular appearance: on the perception. In the perception itself, there is nothing to believe or not believe. This is an important point because it can feel like I am believing this realm of appearances. You see, in the appearance itself, without interpretation, there is nothing to believe. So you can only believe this voice—the voice of person, voice of interpretation, voice of judgment. So if left untouched, this appearance, if left undone, can you have any trouble? No. And I'm just layers. Is it beautiful? The life full of judgment is like a living hell. The good news is that you don't even have to have a process to be rid of judgment right now. You are the witness. So that is a judgment. Automation is a judgment. Guilt is a judgment. Resentment is attachment. The greatest judgment, all these edges, judgments—they are not needed for your existence, are they? So without a judgment, is there something to prove, somewhere to go? So I'll tell you how the mechanics, kind of the confusion, becomes about the 'I.' Such a habit to attach the 'I' to the appearance. It just is so automatic, right?
Yeah, right. So let's look at this notion of habit. So now, automatically attaching some 'I' to it. It's not that automatic as the mind would like us to believe.
Yes, it is like saying then that consciousness itself has been held captive by the mind, therefore it is now stuck and it is automatically 'me.' Then are you something other than consciousness, or has consciousness now become hostage to its own child, the mind? Although not possible, you are only this existence, being this consciousness. Now really look: is it automatic, or as automatic as we think it is? In fact, when you switch the perspective and say, 'Okay, I'm going to really check how this belief is automatically picked up,' you see that it seems impossible to pick it up. At best, what we can call it is a deeply ingrained habit, like an addiction or something like this. But we don't even have to go so far because you're in satsang here, in the de-addiction center. All the addictions which seemed so real also are being dealt with. So before you take the first step of presuming that it's automatic and 'I get caught up in the I, then I start seeking,' you will find that before that step, there is space. The sense 'it is not' or 'is me' to you, you see? If it was automatic, truly internally automatic, then it would be your original nature, but it is not. Right now, I am aware of everything that is. The 'I' that is aware is which one? They're already using it. It is the truest thing that I say. So there must be some insight about this 'I.' This is you.
I can't say anything about this 'I,' but you can say that 'I am aware' is before all perception.
Before all perception. Okay. Can we also say that this 'I' can never be caught up in perception? If we turn this, or does it anymore? The one that does get caught up, is it this one? And this is your unchanging reality. So then all that is perceived, all that is changing, does it affect our unchanging one? No. So is there freedom or bondage for this 'I'? It knows, you know, or the concept of freedom or bondage doesn't have that concept. Can it apply to itself? Kind of like neither freedom nor bondage. If this is you, if this one is you, is there another one of you? There is a pretense at times that somehow gets believed in. That's the cause of it. But even if the pretense is picked up, has something happened to you in reality? How can you lose this one, the real one? And can the pretense ever become real?
Read more (35 more paragraphs) ↓Show less ↑
Why do we call it the pretense? Because I believe myself or there is a belief—I can't say 'I believe'—there's a belief that something is me. What does it receive? What is immediate? So perception of the beliefs is, I guess, at the core of beliefs. No, but what does it mean, beliefs? It's meant to see their effects on me. It's what the purpose is, to take an appearance to have a meaning.
Yes, but the appearance itself is not telling its meaning. The appearance by itself is not even creating the duality. So the meaning comes from where?
It seems to come when I assume, in a sense, the body position that 'this is me, this is me.' I feel myself as a boundary. But before assuming the body position, even to assume the body position is to give meaning or the pretense, yes.
So how do you come into this body position? Is it purely on the basis of perception itself that makes you pick up the pretense of body?
I think I've been looking at this quite a bit. A few things. So every time I checked, I'm not the body yet. But the habit, whether it's a sensation—it can be pain, can be anything—also this point of view of 'this is me.' So even I've been looking at this mind, it creates this illusion that I am in the body, even though it's so clear that the sensations and everything that are happening, the body has to be somehow... this whole point of view does create confusion.
See, just stay with this: the point of view. And see whether automatically there becomes a 'you' which is contained in the thought. Even with this visual perspective, is there an individual sense of you here that is contained in you? So it is not our perception, it is not these appearances, it is not the centrality of any perceiving. It seems to our perspective it seems to come from here. Not even that. So when you see 'I have been looking,' let's see. 'I have been looking' is the false one? No. False one can only look. But when I speak about later, when I see that that's plain, it is a sense of individuality which is again taking on this idea that it is the one that is perceived. Yes, that is inherent only in the statement about it, not in the looking itself. Can you not look even in deep sleep? And it appears even when there is no perception, there is this pure witnessing.
Yes, and then that that was looked at, which was looking. And also this morning I was thinking, I am fully there in deep sleep. You know, I just think I'm fully there in deep sleep. Now the only thing that has changed is this being, this 'I am.' So I must be the same that was there in deep sleep witnessing this.
'Must be' can be a useful inference, yes. But is it true when you check? What is checking? You say, 'I'm fully there in deep sleep, there is nothing missing.' All of this comes, but being is here, the play of my existence. All of this comes, therefore 'I must be that same one still that was fully there.' 'Must be' is an inference. So like we were saying yesterday, use your inferences as possibilities for your insight. So can you check on the one that is aware of even your existence? Can you step away from that? And step away from the looking. Now, that one doesn't want anything.
Yeah, what this one... this one is trying to understand. This one is just a lawyer or what do you call it?
This is a representative of the so-called limited entity. But you are not it. And are you being represented by it? So why any concern for the lawyer's one? If I say to you, 'There is nobody sitting on the couch outside, can you please go and give that nobody some water?' You'll call me crazy. Why not this 'me'? You might not give anybody else. Who is it? So this has been a lie you've been catering to, this nobody. It's a non-existent one. So the one that is trying to understand the Self can never understand anything because it doesn't exist. Now, what all has this one wanted?
Which one? Okay, let's make it easier. What has the true one ever wanted? Hmm. So all this desire is whose? Of this thirsty nobody.
This thirsty nobody who is sending you these emails, calling my WhatsApp messages, the 'I'm in and I'm out' etcetera. Who's it representing?
In the same testing for a lot of my relationships, the same nobody. So I guess it's your addiction to pick it up.
No. So that's why I use that word, but now forget. We don't have the addiction. You have a Master. Because sometimes in the enforcing that 'I have an addiction,' it can seem like I do. It's all make-believe anyway.
Okay, so let's see. Let's see here. There is, I don't know what it is, I can't even name it, but there's some sensations, edges. If there are perception, perception everywhere. Okay, yes, I am not those perceptions, like I have been here almost in any situation that is very clear, except picking up still can happen. But I am never those perceptions. But there is a thought that says, 'Why this perception? I don't want this perception.' You know, and that almost causes most of the suffering. Is that why this suffering? Where is this?
So, 'Why is this perception here?' means 'I should not be facing this.'
Yes, exactly, yes.
So the 'I' that should not be facing this is which one? The 'why' questions are usually coming from our sense of self-righteousness about what the world should be, what the world should be. Why is the world like this? Why is my body like this? Why are my relationships like this? Why is my money like this? It is actually really saying, 'Why do I have to suffer?' You see? From this 'why' is the 'what is' this way. 'I am not.' But then all of this is the voice of the non-existent nobody. So you have now once the key to this 'why.' Why anything? It's the Master's play. Who are you? Who is the more important question.
The one thing that the mind plays, and I see that also often, somehow it says that first let's solve it for the pretend one, then I don't want the real.
This pretend one is a never-ending treadmill. You feel like you're running towards solving something for this 'me.' Nothing can ever be solved for this 'me.' Why? Because it doesn't exist. Its voice itself is the voice of the forest. So nothing has to be resolved for this one because this one doesn't exist. The mind will also tell you, 'But that gets in the way until I have solved that. That gets in the way.' On what sense? Because nothing can get in the way. All there is, is it. This is still the voice of a 'me' who's trying to get to something. But the being itself is non-existent. Which is the memory asking all these questions? All solved. If I really look at it, it's just a very selfish desire to ask these questions because what does it want? Just wants peace or some... I don't know what it wants, but be something there before want, exactly. The perfume of your natural ocean, His existence, is this peace. So it is giving me this false promise: 'Once you resolve it, then there will be peace.' It's just a false promise to distract you from the peace that is.
The self is non-existent—the 'you' which is the memory asking all these questions. If I really look at it, it's just a very selfish desire to ask these questions because what does it want? It just wants peace or some... I don't know what it wants, but there is something there before the want. Exactly. The perfume of your natural ocean is existence; it is this peace. So the mind is giving me this false promise: 'Once you resolve it, then there will be peace.' It's just a false promise to distract you from the peace that is already there. There is nowhere to get to. There's nothing to become.
Everything happens by itself. Choice really isn't there. Someone could be making the choice, but it is not making the choice, so it is happening. Is it like...?
No, no. We say choicelessly. Whose choice would it be? Your heart? So, therefore, it is choiceless. Right now, it is this. We have right now. Right now, let's go. And now this being—being is just being. Does anything change that? And what's all this? Oh God, you relax me a lot. Because when we say 'relax,' it can be like a position that I need to relax. But before you can even relax, you are relaxed. This is why Ashtavakra's instructions are to say 'be natural.' When you say you have to be natural, then the naturalness itself goes. How to be this? So it is like: forget about it. Like everything is aligned, forget about it. And 'forget about it' sounds like nothing special for the mind. The seeker wants to have like a 'Wow!' end to the spiritual journey. Something super-wow, like a ball of fire. This is spiritual. So here is this: forget about it. I've been at this a long time. What do you mean forget about it? Whatever I got within the forgetting about it is the Divine. It is the letting go of the forms. See that the Lord has always been here.
Like the consciousness would manage. You say, but I can truly, truly confirm when this is the end of it. If I am like, getting into this laughter sort of scene, I have the sense... because when we see the happenings at satsang, everybody says, 'Okay, this is the awakening experience.' But many have had to laugh to think, 'Where are they now?' It doesn't have to be anything at all.
Whatever byproducts are there, what are you unwilling to release? We've been pressing some buttons because I've been receiving a lot of messages about this one. I do think that it's very natural for us to say, 'This is what has troubled me, so please, I want to surrender it to you. This attachment has caused so much suffering, now I surrender it to you.' You know, all these things are surrendered to you. But actually, what we've been hiding is that which we feel we have been most right about. Maybe the most right about. Do not celebrate too easily. It seems like that is what is propping us up. That is what makes us who we are. Forget about that. You've not been right about anything, or wrong. In the world, there is no right or wrong. The right or wrong would mean that there is this truth. This truth also has the opposite, which is false. I wonder if it makes sense when I say there's a worldly truth and false. There's a worldly interpretation of what is true and what is false. But the truth that you are finding about yourself doesn't have the opposite. It never is not. It is not followed. So falsity is not possible. Therefore, the worldly concepts are to prop up your worldly notion of who you are. Now we don't need that anymore, so forget about it.
And this pushes some buttons because what we are right about, we've desperately been holding on to. It's a pretty boring operation. So some of you will have a very good satsang with this contemplation: What righteousness am I not willing to give up? Can you believe and surrender at the same time? In surrender, all judgments, all conclusions, everything is let go. It is the simplest thing in a way. But if you want to hold on to some idea, anything in the end of the spectrum—right or wrong, tired of you and all this—then we are like those people in the cartoons hanging on the branch. Except instead of letting go, I think it's really saying, 'I'm right, but I'm right. I can make this work through my righteousness.' Let me see. It doesn't happen. Eventually, you have to let go. It just doesn't work. Any strategy for this doesn't work.
There are some strategies which are very beautiful in a way. I've said it to myself every time. We don't realize that we have this idea of being a tiny ant, and we'll be right. Inquiringly inviting the elephant in the room. So it can feel like, 'Oh, the ant will have a happy life,' or 'If I surrender, the ant will have a cute life.' But actually, it is inviting the elephant in the room. Your false idea about yourself, then when the toppling is happening, you're like, 'But this is not what I asked for! I was doing it as a happy ant life.' No, limitedness is getting squeezed out of you. And then these thoughts will keep on ravaging you: 'You made a mistake. Run.' So the impulse to escape from satsang is just to run. You know, you can make it yourself. Okay, now we recover. This is another 'you.' Which idea are we unwilling to live without? All these ideas are your doorway to misery. You might feel like they are prized possessions, but they're just the doorway to misery. The thing is that what you think is nothing compared with this magnificent thought about your magnificence.
And don't worry if for a while things seem a bit confusing. You might feel like you lost some control. I don't know what your thing is. So many times I just feel like I don't know what's happening, I don't know where I'm going. But these feet are moving. This way, the mind tells us reassuring stories many times. At least in the beginning, my hands would be like this and I would not know whether I'm starting or finishing. Look at our own videos. So pretty and say, 'What are we doing?' You are always found by the Self. The Divine is forgetting, but nothing will truly get messed up. Nothing gets messed up for the Self. All is this.
Kabir Ji says to live like you have no rights. Is he referring to this idea that you're talking about?
Well, it's very closely interconnected because we feel like we are right about which rights we have. We feel like, 'Definitely I'm entitled.' See, there was one who did satsang with me. She was with me here for a year and every day she would take at least 15-20 minutes of discussion. But then she said, 'But I have given you so much time. I have given you so much text.' The strangest thing. So you can feel like we can use all of these things. Usually, it's more an expression. It feels like some gratitude can be expressed: 'Thank you for giving me so much time and giving you so much of my life.' But if you feel like, 'Because I have made this investment, I have these rights, therefore I should be like this or like that,' this idea of entitlement, the idea of having some rights, depends on this notion that I'm right about something. This 'being right' also applies to the opposite. Listen carefully here because many times we can get into a very strong position that 'I've just got no rights.' But that can also become a strong position. You're not even right about that.
Nothing the Master is saying is meant for us to hold on to a position strongly. Sometimes Masters make statements so that we get shaken out of our position into a neutrality. Their statements are not meant to bring us to the opposite end, which is also a position. It is this neutrality that the mind hates. So we'll be able to say you have neither rights nor no rights. What is he saying? But because a majority could be attracted to the position of being entitled in some way because of some reason or the other, it is important to say you have no rights. If you have no rights, that takes up the position of this entitled seeker to a neutrality. This attraction to being right means that I know something perceptually to be true, but no concept has ever captured the truth. What I'm saying is not very confusing because I'm not advising a position. I'm saying forget about all positions. In your original state, there is no position to be taken, no mask to wear. We'll be back right away.
In essence, so the quality is not about this. It's no problem now. Oh, there is one thing here. I keep looking for... I guess I'm just looking for where this looking is. No shape, no nothing. No shape, no size, no position. I'm not sure if there's a position also because the mind says here that the mind thinks of saying is not here. Very clearly I exist. Where I exist, how I exist, I can see you. So you talked about even the wild woman. So I know I'm looking at everything, but I just don't know as what I'm looking for. And I think that creates some irony, some of this mind stuff.
Yes, but this is fine because this way the mind can exhaust itself. If these are the questions that it is latching on to now, it's like I'm saying that the ant is inviting the elephant to the party. Am I looking for one that feels that it will get something from this question? The Lord survives this. Because 'Father, all is Self' makes me humble. 'I am the Self' makes me egoic. 'All is Self' makes me humble. 'I am the Self' makes me egoic. In this statement itself, if you are open to looking, you will find what flips us. Because in either statement, the 'me' is still central. 'All is Self' makes me something. 'I am the Self' makes me something. Either way, the 'me' is nothing there. It is these statements which make you something or nothing. But if this is inside 'All is Self,' where is the 'me' that could be a little humble? That's what I said earlier about the beautiful couplet by Rahim Ji who said, 'The being is very novel. It is not on purpose.' If I am, God is not. If God is, I am not. You cannot reconcile yourself and God anyway except as this concept. It's not about this 'me' and about this 'me.' Every word you say will be scripture, but until this 'me' is in the limelight, you are in this duality.
But though can I do... obey God and embrace nothing? Believe me to... believe me to God be made and there as to what you say, you can forget about what is good enough. Leave everything to God, which is what I've been saying. Believe in God.
Yes. You say, 'Thank you. I fear to let go of me.' Yet this is integrity. This little primal fear which rises when we let go, the fear of the unknown, we call it a fear of death. Because we no longer believe that our existence is dependent on this 'me.' Then someone comes along and says, 'Forget about this me,' and I can feel like, 'But I'm just going to crash. My existence could be...' But in fact, that is the whole point of having a living Satguru, because he can show you that your existence goes beyond that. If you drop this 'me,' existence can go on in its own natural way. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Baba Ki Jai.