It felt like annihilation, like a brink (the seeker's terror)

And when I understood this, it felt like a void opened and it was really, it was really frightening because it felt like annihilation, like a brink, it felt like I, I, me was going to be gone, yes. So my question is, it's, it's like, it's not just a simple step to understand, yes, I am the self and I am not me, it is like a terrifying thing that you lose every, every idea of what you are and then the, and the me just disappears. Did you, did this, how you faced it, was it easy, was it an easy step or was it, because now the last couple of days I'm sort of like, wow, this is, this is a terrifying step, it's not just an easy slip into being, being. You got me out there, why? Because maybe I have a little number, but somebody, many years