This moment — for me, or for God?

I don't know what to do, but I am trying to know every distance, you know, I don't know how to do it, but I was going to go on with it, but But if you know in our heart that it is moment for me or for God, that's about it. Like what is the best effort? There's no matter this good enough. No more meditation is good enough. No practices will be enough. But you can... And time card is not good enough otherwise we would become so proud. You know, there was nothing which could just be gone. Then it would not be based on His grace. It would be based on RFO. You see? I could have been completely captured. Except that sometimes like one day I just had this feeling that finally after 27 years of spirituality,