I'm never going to get this freedom thing

I am never going to get this freedom thing. So although it can feel like it is empty of conclusions, full of conclusions. I am not going to get it. I am never going to understand. It becomes a comfortable resting place also. And for many it has happened in such some over the years. Either that I got it or that I give up. I will never get it. Both are just branches. So let me say it another way.