Even wanting to be at the door is a big struggle — and the real game

now mostly what we sense at that door we can't put into words but still there's all the work that is needed it's been feeling like a big backup for us this is like a bigger struggle too so it's even to want to be at the door yes that is a big struggle just the wanting to be at the door we could seem like the real test the real game is somewhere else it seems like it is in body it is in relationship it is in money it is in all of those things it seems like now thankfully for us it is not true thankfully for us in the sense thankfully in the human condition although my eye makes it seem like that is the only pre-round we should be playing at it is actually not true