श्रीरामSatsang with Ananta
Awareness & Attention

You Are Just In The Unborn, Now What Should Happen?

The Self is already obviously you - not something to find through attention or understanding, and the only obstacle is expecting it to be an object or to fulfill desires.

Ananta

It’s a mistaken idea that you don’t know who you are. The claim that I don’t know who I am, or actually even the claim that I do know who I am, has to come from the mind, has to come from the wrong instrument. In that way then it’s an object of conceptual knowing. Actually right now, without moving an inch, it is clear to you who you are. You don’t have to play with your attention at all, wherever attention is, it is okay. Whatever concepts are floating through your mind, it is okay. But, you are Aware. Like, sometimes because we speak of Awareness, like ‘Awareness!’ [makes a grand gesture with arms]; no? So, then it can feel like that will take a lot of getting to but actually it is the simplest. You’re Aware, no? Aren’t you? You Are; nobody else. You Are. So, this is apparent. So, the insight is very, very simple. As long as you’re not expecting to find anything objective. To recognize yourself as Awareness, you are Aware. Even to say I am not aware, you are basically saying I am Aware that I am not aware; [Laughs] isn’t it? So Awareness is inescapable but it is not perceivable. Are you happy with the unperceivable discovery? Or will you hang on, hold on until you find something you can see? How many of you are happy even if you never perceive it? [pause] Sure? Then it’s easy. If you’re expecting to find it objectively like this [holds up object], then you’ll keep seeking. Because the Self will never become an object for you to find. And if it turned out at the end of the day that the Self was just another object, then what fun would there be in all of that? Because everything objective comes and goes. So, if you’re in Satsang I’m setting the expectations correctly, right up front, so you don’t delude yourself. You are not going to find the Self as if it is some shiny object that you can then hold onto and say, ‘Hey I’ve found it. Here it is; okay, fine?’ Secondly, your thoughts are not going to become scriptural. It’s not going to be some fancy thought that you come to a discovery of and you say, ‘Eureka, Eureka!’, you know, and jump around the town saying, ‘I found it!’ There’s not going to be a discovery like that. So, neither at the level of thought, and thought of course is another perception, but even at the overall level of perception also. So, it is not going to be a discovery like that, clear? Now, that doesn’t mean there is nothing to discover. That doesn’t mean there is nothing to recognize. So, to recognize because already it is apparent. But, let’s look together and see that That which is apparent is what we are looking for. Because it’s like, um, the spectacles that you’re already wearing but you’re looking around the whole house. Like, most of us who wear specs have done this where we’ve looked around the whole house but we are actually already wearing them. So, that is the seeming process of discovery. Now, in what way to look then? In what way to look? What looking is simplest, prior even to sight? Independent even of sight? How do you know that you exist? Do you have to rely on a concept to confirm that? And even though you may say, ‘Okay, existence seems to be on the cusp of manifest and unmanifest.’ So, we may say, ‘Ah, but I can experience it tangibly in some sense’, like a sense of being. But, that is your sense of Being. That ‘you’, to whom this being belongs, how is that apparent to you, through which instrument? And that is the only instrument with which this discovery is possible; you see? The Wrong Instrument Now, there’s good news to that, the good news to that is that it is impossible to struggle with that instrument. So, if you’re a struggling spiritual seeker, forget it, forget it. You’re just using the wrong tools, you see? You’re using a toothpick to dig a well, or something. So, who’s struggling with their seeking? [pause] Okay, so you’re using the wrong instrument hundred percent, hundred percent. Because with the right instrument, you cannot struggle, you see? Now this, okay, we’ll come to what you will struggle with later, but just remember that if you’re trying, if there is effort, if there is like a ‘doing’ or ‘I have to find myself. Yes, my Self! Where is the Self? Where is the Self?’ How will we do this exercise? Beyond Attention Like, when Bhagavan said, ‘Who are you? Who am I?’ Was he saying, ‘Okay, just use your attention. Look everywhere and if you send your attention deep enough, deep enough, then you will meet our Self over there’? Is that what the game is: It can be like that, it can’t be like that. Then the sages would become unaware of themselves anytime they opened their eyes and had a conversation with someone. Because attention would go out then they were like, ‘Oh, I am lost’. That can’t be it. So it can’t be about taking this attention and sending it deep, deep, deep, ‘Ah, there it is’. It can’t be that, you see? Then that would make the Self also another perception. Am I going too fast? If it would just be about attention then to withdraw the attention from this seeming outside world, and to be able to take it and send it deep inside what that insight is, nobody knows, but deep inside somewhere and say, ‘Ah, there it is. Hidden behind all the clouds. There, that’s the Self.’ But, then it would be what? A perception; isn’t it? It would be perceived and all perceptions can come and go. Like this one also would have to come then for you to say, Ah, there you are.’ You see? It would just have to then appear for you to say, ‘Ah, now you’re in my field of perception. I have found you.’ But that is not what the discovery of the Self is like. I’m exaggerating to sound absurd, so that it can sound a bit humorous also. But, actually that is the struggle of most seekers. What are we trying to do? We are trying to find the Self. Using what tool? Attention mostly, you see? So, we want something to come into our attention which has the label, the tattoo, ‘Self’ on it. And then we say, ‘Ah, there you go, I finally found it. Tracking for Byproducts If you are not doing that you could be doing something else, which is also your attention, to just track for the byproducts. ‘How am I feeling right now? Who am I? How am I feeling? Who am I? How am I feeling? Who am I? Ah, bliss came. I must be doing the ‘Who am I’ really well.’ Inquiry Isn’t this what most of us are doing, what many of us are doing? Where some of you, and one of you, my child is here also, she said to me, ‘My inquiry has stopped working for me. Because earlier when I used to inquire, it used to feel so good. There was joy, there was peace. Now when I inquire it is just all mind [Laughs]. So, it stopped working for me’. So, then I checked with the Sangha also that was sitting around and most of us were doing that. They were trying to use ‘Who am I’, as a simple question about who you are, as a tool to get you some joy, some peace, some bliss. And if it was providing that you would say, ‘My Sadhana, my practice, my inquiry is working’; if it is not doing that then it is not working. But, Bhagavan has not said anything like that. He has not said, ‘Do the inquiry so you get joy, peace, and bliss.’ So, we use the tool of inquiry to get to the taste of a particular feeling with our attention and then it becomes about that feeling rather than the discovery of who you are, you see? So, whether you’re looking for the Self directly, in an objective way, through your attention, or you’re waiting for the byproducts to arise so you can say, ‘Ah, I must have found the Self because I am feeling bliss or I’m feeling joy’, you see? So, if you’re having to infer that discovery then you’re still using the wrong instrument, okay? So, don’t struggle with your attention to find the Self, it is not going to be a perception. And all attention is a term we use to light up our perception. That which lights up perception is called attention. Clear? So, that is one way to struggle. So, if I’m looking for a coin I lost yesterday, then I look around the whole house and say, ‘Where is that coin, where is that coin?’, you see? And if I don’t find it then I can suffer or struggle from it. But, the search for the Self is not that. Is this clear to everyone? Because this will save you years of trouble if only this point is itself seen. So, when we are looking for the Self don’t look for it as if it is something you will find like an object, yes? And what you will find I will tell you, don’t worry, but at least what not to do I have to clarify first, yes? Okay. Now, that is out. Not an Equation The second thing is, don’t expect it to be an equation, E=MC2; ‘Aham brahmasmi, must mean I am that Itself’, don’t expect it to be like that. Beyond Conviction So, what is the other way to struggle? And this is another one of your favorites, which is, I have to be convinced about the Truth, no? ‘I know I am the Self, but I am not convinced. So, I have to convince myself more and more.’ So, what does that mean? It’s basically a construct of belief, isn’t it? Like, ‘I have the concept, I am Brahaman, I am the Self and now I just have to keep saying ‘I am the Self, I am the Self’ until I fully believe it. Then, when my partner is fighting with me I have to remember I am the Self. I am not the husband, I am not the wife, I am not the boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever, I am the Self. And if I can remember that I am the Self then my anger will be in control, I will not react that way. So, I will hold this concept of the Self as a full conviction, then that will make me happy, that will make me peaceful, that will bring me to realization’. This is complete nonsense, complete nonsense. You don’t have to convince yourself that you are the Self. You don’t have to believe you are the Self. It is not a question of creating a new religion, a new belief system that you are the Self. So, don’t try to convince yourself. Because all convictions, no matter how deep they are, the world has the ability to shake them. Every conviction that we’ve had in the past is shakeable today, and your new convictions that you’re creating today are shakeable tomorrow, okay? So, just be clear about this. If you feel your spiritual endeavor at the moment is to be more and more convinced that I am the Self, forget about it, nothing to do with that. It is not a belief. It’s not a belief. It is not saying, ‘‘Now you’ve had an old concept ‘I am the person’- don’t identify. But identify with the new concept ‘I am the Self.’’ That’s a mistaken idea that’s very popular in India also, this idea that I have to get convinced that I am the Self; nothing to do with conviction. [Sangha member speaks]

Ananta

So, he says, ‘Another struggle is to find symptoms of Awareness and non-Awareness.’ Is it like the byproduct thing I spoke about? That you feel like you’ve found the Self if you’re experiencing joy and you feel like you didn’t find the Self if you’re experiencing frustration or anger or something like that?

Seeker

14:56 (inaudible)

Ananta

Correct, correct. So, it’s the question of perception again, isn’t it? Like, where my attention is going. So, if I am doing the inquiry well, then if I’m discovering Awareness, then I must be experiencing some peace or symptoms; byproducts. Is that what you mean?

Seeker

[Silence] Beyond Effort

Ananta

You can contemplate deeper, then we can talk again. That’s a good thing to discover because these are all the tricks of the mind, which enjoys the seeker role as much as any other role. The ego is happy with the seeker as much as any other role. So, any position, any role, which defines you in an individual way, with a shape, is winning for the mind, isn’t it? Seems like winning for the mind. So, these two things are very important to consider. So, I am claiming today that you cannot struggle without these two mechanisms: One, is to try to understand that which we just spoke about, and [Two] is to try and see something or find something; clear? So, if you’re not doing these two, struggle and show me. These are the instruments of effort, to try and perceive something and to try and understand something. These are the instruments of effort, you may call them modes of knowledge, but here the knowledge that comes is effortful. Effortlessness: Guidance Now, I am going to point you to something which is empty of effort, but you can’t take your mind there. You can’t take your need for some experience there. Just come with the innocence of a child, just come with the innocence of a child. So, who is aware of your existence? Don’t try and see something. Just allow the question to do its work. Who is aware of your existence? Anybody who feels it is not them, it is their neighbor or it is one in the Zoom next door or room next door. Anybody who feels it is not them it is somebody else who is aware of their existence? Nobody, no? So, all of you are discovering your Self. It is Universal, the discovery is Universal. The recognition is only to realize ‘Hey that is it?’ And the mind will have 100 things to say about that, we’ll come to that in a moment, you see? For now stay with me. You are aware isn’t it? Are you Aware now? [pause] You are Aware. You confirm that without needing to see something, no? Do you confirm that without the need to see something and after seeing something? Are you just like, some of you have this point where you say, ‘I’m inferring that I am aware because I am seeing, because there is a perception’. So, don’t do that. Meet the question more directly. Now, are you Aware? [pause] Yes. Don’t expect an experience, I see some of you trying to find it with your attention [imitates looking]. Nothing like that, just simple, simple. If naturally these things happen it’s fine, it’s fine. Don’t have to resist anything, don’t have to fight anything. But, you don’t need to go into some special meditative state, nothing. Just regular, regular stuff. Are you not Aware right now? Aware. So, this discovery is on the basis of which instrument? Is it not effortless? Okay, let’s go step by step. Is it effortless, or no? And don’t come into any peer pressure. This is not group psychosis or anything. So, you see, just say honestly, is it not effortless? I am just asking you if you are Aware. The confirmation that you’re Aware to yourself and I am not talking about speaking the words, the ability to conceptualize, just the discovery, just the recognition I am Aware; it’s effortless or no? Hm, anyone confused about this? Most of you are nodding on the zoom, so I take that as a yes. (Second page, please nod again so that we can confirm, I mean if you feel it is true). Is the discovery effortless? Okay, good. Thank you, thank you. Did you need to see something to confirm your Awareness? Whether you say you are awareness, well you are Awareness, same thing. Did you need to perceive anything special or anything at all to confirm? Didn’t have to, isn’t it? Didn’t have to? Did you have to think something before you came to the discovery? Did you have to chant ‘Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram...Awareness!’ Like that? Not needed, no? Independent of whatever thought activity may have happened, it is apparent. Going Deeper Let’s go deeper a little bit. This Awareness you did not perceive, therefore can you confirm it doesn’t have a shape? If it had a shape it would be something with an attribute. It would be a perception, isn’t it? But, don’t infer that. Every time I ask you a question like that, check for yourself. Don’t use your intellect, just check. Checking is simpler, to use your mind is more difficult. So, it didn’t have any shape, size, therefore no question of birth, death, age, all of these things don’t apply to it. ‘What About Me?’ Now, if you personally didn’t want to get anything out of this discovery, like now this Awareness did not have to do anything for ‘me’. You had no desire around it. No expectation of peace, bliss, joy, halo, enlightenment, Freedom, Satsang, disciples, none of that. If you didn’t have any of that expectation, how will you trouble yourself? Is this not Freedom? Is this not Freedom? To come to the recognition of who you are, and to become empty of attachments, desires, expectations, is Freedom, you see? It Cannot Be Put Into Your Narrative Now, which part, be honest with me okay, now which part is more difficult? First part, which is I am Aware, or the second part, not to expect, not to have a desire, not to insert it in our narrative? Second, second. Second part is more difficult. Now, this is the trouble with the discovery of the Self, with the pure, pristine discovery of the Self, that it cannot be put into your narrative, you see? And in the human condition we feel like without meaning and therefore narrative, there is no discovery, there is no progress, there is no point. Like the point itself, the idea of ‘point’ means meaning. That’s a favorite human question to say, ‘What’s the point of all of this?’ So, if you can allow your discovery to remain pointless, you are Free. Who’s with me on this? This can seem a bit complex, but actually it’s very simple. If you don’t burden your discovery with any sort of expectation of meaning, or change in life situation, or story, or any of those things, we are Free. [Silence] ‘How Do I Stay Here?’

Seeker

So, I want to stay Free.

Ananta

Okay so, he says, this is a good point, so let’s use that as the first mind trick. He says, ‘The mind comes up to this, saying, ‘Excuse me, I want to stay like this, or I want to stay Free.’ So, for that first, are you confirming you are free right now? [Snaps fingers]. You are. Good, that in itself is a great, great recognition. So, I want to stay like this or I want to stay Free, no? Now, in that version of the mind’s idea ‘I want to stay Free’, there is a protagonist, there is a hero, right? Now, is that protagonist the same as what you discovered yourself to be? [pause] And don’t worry about my hands, I am giving the answer a bit. But, is the protagonist the same one? The ‘I’, one who wants to remain like this, is it the same ‘I’ you discovered yourself to be? You see? Beyond Time So, first the misidentification has to happen for you to take yourself to be in time. The one that you’re discovering yourself to be, ‘I am Aware’, what does it have to do with time? And don’t try to think about the answer. Just intuitively, it’s clear to you, in your Heart it’s clear to you. If you start thinking about the answer ‘Okay, it is prior to the birth of the Universe, therefore ‘I am’ is a function of the Universe, therefore...’ Although, ‘therefore, therefore’ is the intellect. Without any of the ‘therefore’ business, without any of the inferring business, you notice that this you that is Aware, shapeless, sizeless, attributeless, is not dependent on time, isn’t it? So, you are discovering yourself to be prior to time. Now, the ‘I’ that wants to always be like this is which one? How will you know that this one worked out well for you, like you are always Free? What would you have to track?

Seeker

I would have to track the time.

Ananta

You would have to track the time, but for whom? For this individual entity, isn’t it? You will have to track this entity saying, ‘Ah, this one. He was smiling in the morning, he was smiling in the afternoon, he was smiling in the evening, he seems quite Free.’ But, Freedom is not about that one, you see? Spiritual Desire So, this is what I meant by desire, although we don’t recognize it as desire. So to use this discovery of the non-phenomenal Self to help the phenomenal entity is spiritual desire, you see? And the mind will have a second trump card, which is related to the saying, ‘But, I came into this for this. I came to Satsang for this. Now you are saying that is not possible. But, I came to this for this.’ So, if you came for a pebble and I am giving you a diamond, will you say ‘no’ to the diamond because you came for the pebble? [Laughs]. You see? But, the justification is just like that, no? ‘I came so that I could personally be happy for the rest of my life.’ I have shown you that there is no person because there is nothing to worry about happiness or unhappiness, or about all of these human considerations. But, you are saying, ‘But, I came for this.’ I am giving you a greater gift, isn’t it? [Laughs]. You can recognize it as a greater gift or no? [pause] No, not yet [Laughs]. You’re getting there. So, I am just seeding all of this with you. So, when the mind throws this trump card saying, ‘That’s what I came to Satsang for.’ But, you came to this party expecting a return gift of a pebble, instead you are getting a ruby, no? So, are you happier or sadder? You should be happier. You should be more celebrating. This is greater than anything that we could have ever expected. That should be our approach to that second trump card. ‘It Can’t Be This Simple’ For the third trump card: it can’t be this simple; one big trump card, ace of spades, or whatever: It can’t be this simple. Now, what is your feeling about this? Can it be this simple? Or it can’t be that simple. I mean there are yogis who have been meditating in the Himalayas for thousands of years, no? Upside down, balancing on their head, not drinking any water, just breatharian yogis trying to find the Self, trying to find God. What are they doing if actually the discovery is that simple? Hm? [Laughs]. I feel like they are taking care of two. The second aspect is resistance management. So, the tapa/sadhana, all of this may be very good to burn desire and things like that, maybe, I am not proposing any of that. I am just saying: remain open and empty. But, if anybody tells me that they need to do anything at all to come to the discovery of what they are then that is a fallacy. Because you’ve seen yourself, you cannot find the Self with your hands and feet, you cannot find the Self with your attention and you cannot find your Self in your concept. So there is no way to struggle now. So, what is the third one? Too simple. So, how many have this doubt, or objection, it’s too simple? It can’t be that simple. If you had it, you can now throw it away. It is actually simpler than simple. It is the only ‘thing’ where you have to do anything at all. Because you did not use the traditional tools of the human condition. [Silence] Start: 2:28:29- END- 2:34:23 Anantaji Satsang Excerpt – 6th May 2022

Ananta

So all these representations that 'the Unborn is not enough' you see, 'to remain in the Unborn is not enough' are not representations that are my direct insight or my direct experience. So I can not give them validity. Now you may say that 'I tried the Unborn thing, it didn't work out because, you know [chuckles]. So then I would say, 'Okay, that is being full of integrity because you're sharing openly that it didn't work out'. But I may question your idea of what work out and doesn't work out mean. [Silence] Okay, what is your idea of integrity? Now you're open and empty inside, now what do you have to do? Just be sweet sweet and nice nice. Like that?

Seeker

So Father, no. I don't know. Maybe it's a gathered concept but a spiritual concept. But it feels like that, um, the expression needs to change or something.

Ananta

To what?

Seeker

To what you are presently, to something which is ...

Ananta

Okay, express yourself exactly like you are presently.

Seeker

[Laughs]

Ananta

These are impossible absurd things and how will you express your presence? Would you just go like that like that [Hand gestures] (Some words are spoken in Hindi) You see? Is it like this? And even if that happens, that's okay. I'm not saying that can not happen. But what Is, what would, I mean, what are we saying? [Laughs]

Seeker

No, Father, they are as absurd as they're coming out from my mouth right now but there are these hidden, certain, you know...

Ananta

You don't worry. So what would it be so, you're just in the Unborn now what should happen? [Silence]

Seeker

Yeah...

Ananta

Okay let me help you, let me see if I'm getting this because I don't want to let go of this question. Many in this room are nodding also so I realize that the question is not just yours. So in your being you may be experiencing a lot of love maybe. Now if that is happening inwardly then do you have to pressurize yourself to express that or is it not natural? And even if it is not coming outwardly and you're shouting at your daughter to study, is that an expression of lack of love? What are we judging ourselves on?

Seeker

Something like that only Father.

Ananta

There is no other tool or mechanism which will make this bridge happen. If it is inwardly there it will find a way to express itself. And firstly like your main discovery is that you are not this body.

Seeker

Yeah

Ananta

The best is this instrument which is as part of this Universe which is being perceived. Just like a dream body is no different from the dream, you see. And yet in the dream it can seem like I am somehow contained in this and this is my primary expression. But the entire dream is your expression, you see. And that is exactly how it is here as well. So don't have this kind of pressure. Of Course it's natural for us to say, 'Yes, yes this is how my expression is and this is how my expression is.' But this is just provisional. Don't take that too seriously otherwise just imagine the pressure you put on yourself 'This face should be maybe like this.' ' I should not get angry at my husband and my daughter because I'm supposed to be open and empty, you know.' What is all that? In your openness and emptiness that is freedom and in freedom everything can come.

Seeker

Yes.

Ananta

Everything can go you see.

Seeker

Father, somehow I can testify whatever you're saying it's totally here and the trick keeps on playing of ' Oh, no. This should not be like that'.So this is yeah... So I just..

Ananta

Like I was telling you the other day, don't beat yourself up in this way that you are not enough. You are fully enough. Fully enough. And don't allow or don't buy into notions when they seemingly come from the seeming others that you are not enough or you are not free enough, you're not devoted enough, you're not worthy enough, you're not Being enough. Basically, is your Being not enough?

Seeker

Yeah, exactly.

Ananta

How can Being not be enough? Is there more being or less being? Can I look at you and say, ' Let me see you closely, uh, your Being is 35 percent today.'

Seeker

[Laughs]

Ananta

There is not such a thing like that. Don't pressurize yourself at all, in any way. Just relax, chill out, enjoy. Is that so difficult? [Laughs] Like now you may pressurize yourself with this 'Am I being fully chilled as Ananta?' [Laughs]

Seeker

No, Father.

Ananta

Suppose there is a checker guy with the what Is, and it makes a task out of it.

Key Teachings

  • The Self is already apparent as Awareness - it cannot be found as an object through attention or effort, you are already Aware
  • The only obstacles are seeking the Self as something to perceive or using inquiry to get byproducts (joy, peace) rather than for true discovery
  • Freedom comes from being empty of expectations and not inserting the discovery into your narrative - the mind's desire to make it meaningful is the final trap
awarenesseffortlessnessself-discoverynon-dualityfreedomexpectationsegobeingdirect pathsurrender

From: The Letting Go of Ignorance Is the Same as Coming to the Truth - 22nd May 2020