Where Is The Boundary Right Now?
Ananta guides Ceyda to recognize that all experience happens within Being, there is no boundary between body and universe, and true freedom comes from not taking oneself as a person - the 'why' questions lead to suffering while 'who' leads to Truth.
When you talked today about devotion and you talked about these two things, love and trust, and when you say that...I feel like I love you so much and I also trust you so much. But, I was not aware that it was that much, but, yeah. Thank you so.
Very good, thank you my dear. That trust, that devotion that love will take care of everything. It`s very good.
Actually I said that I was not aware because, in life sometimes when things happen, I cannot find that trust within me. I don`t know...it`s still this kind of confusion, like...I`m offering myself to you, I always pray like 'Please, make me the instrument and thy Grace just move through me', but at the same time, this body is the one who moves, so, there is a little confusion and mistrust...
What do you mean by 'this body'? Are you talking about the Universe or one Hny object within it?
One Hny...
Aha...So, the rest of it is not moving, the rest of your body is still? It`s always moving, it`s all moving, no? What makes this [gestures to the body] your body and that [gestures away from the body] not your body?
Actually, it`s like they are dancing together.
How are they dancing? I mean, it`s beautiful, very poetic, but are there two dancing together? [Silence]
It must be one whole.
Yes, but not to infer, just to check. Where is your boundary right now? Is this perception of this man Ananta somewhere outside of you?
It`s taken like this.
Yes. Without taking it like that, how is it? How is it really?
He is within me [Laughing].
As every perception. You see? And anyone in the world will admit to that. They may not admit to their existence within themselves, but they have to admit that the experience that they`re having of any perception is within themselves, isn`t it? And, actually it`s only experience that we experience, there is nothing beyond that, that we can really testify too.
Ok, it`s just...it fears me a little...
What I`m saying is that among this vast experience there is a set of experiences that we call body sensations and body perceptions, and we were taught really hard to take just these to be 'me', you see. And coming to Satsang is a de-conditioning from that teaching. And it`s okay that that teaching happens because that is a parent`s job, they are supposed to teach like that, it`s completely fine. But, this parent`s job in Satsang [Chuckles] is to let go of that teaching which is telling you that only these perceptions are you and only these sensations are you. What is the real distinction between any perception and your body sensations or perceptions? You see, so, I have the perception of this hand [raising right hand] and I have the perception of this hand [raising lee hand, both hands in front of him] – what makes it so that I am contained within these hands and not in the space between them?
May you please repeat?
Yes, my dear. So, I said that there is a perception of this hand [showing lee hand] and there is a perception of this hand [showing right hand, both hands in front of him]. Now, is there anything about 'me' which is contained within these perceptions [showing hands], but not contained in the space between them?
No.
You see? That is Oneness. That is Oneness, that all this play of sensations and perceptions, all of it is experienced within my Being. All this idea of 'me and another', 'me and you', 'me and mine' is all made up, is all conditioning, is all conditions.
May I say something?
Of course.
While I`m listening to you... there is a fear here like, when people refer [to] me and take me as person, I fear from this somehow. Like, when things happen impersonally, it`s just completely fine and it`s so beautiful, but as soon as people are taking me as person I fear somehow.
Who do they take as person?
Who takes me as person?
No, no. Who do they take as a person? If you don`t take yourself that one who they take to be a person, then this cannot bother you. Because they take one body to be the person, you see, now...
I fear that they take me as person, sorry...
Yes, yes my dear, but the thing is that they who take and that which is taken to be the person, that itself is not two. So how come you`re on one side of this equation and not on the other side? You could be saying that when one aspect of myself takes another aspect of myself to be a person, then that causes trouble in one aspect of myself. But, that`s not what you`re saying. So, I am still sensing an identification with one body-mind as you. Now, that is okay for communication. I will also represent myself as Ananta many times to communicate, but that is not my Reality. And because I know it is not my Reality, any opinion that you may have about Ananta doesn`t really affect me that much. So, if another has an opinion of you as Ceyda, how does it really affect you when you know that you are not Ceyda?
It doesn`t. Actually, it doesn`t.
Yes. So, if your earlier report was that 'It bothers me when somebody else' – I`m paraphrasing – 'takes me to be a person'. But you are taking yourself to be a person in that report, no?
Yes. And, it`s also not true what I report. My report is not also my experience actually. Maybe I fear to get reactions, something like this. I don`t know.
The highest suffering is to solve non-existent problems [chuckles].
...and try to find one [laughs].
Yes, yes. It`s so bothered without having one. 'I`ll better have something to resolve, how can I not have anything to resolve today?' And the mind puts something and says 'How is this one? It looks very glamorous, it looks like...Wow, this one could be nice, actually.' You see?
But, while you try to take it, it`s already like sand, it just goes. [Pauses] And, yes, actually I also want to thank you for something. For a couple of months, actually, not pain but there was some sadness, some hurt about something here. I tried to bring it to you and I couldn`t, and it was just going on and there was no way to get out of it. Somehow I was put in that situation. And even though it`s still here, just it yields such amazing fruit that I truly was not expecting this. I just want to thank you for this.
Good, good. Very good. This is Grace. This is Grace. Because, when the situation is there, then we feel like 'It`s so constricted and I`m so stuck and I don`t know what to do', you see?
But, I had to go through this.
Yes. And it doesn`t have to be that the situation changes, it`s just that you transcended it, you see? You transcend the situation, you transcend the notion about how things should be and how they should not be, all those ideas can be given up.
It`s still not a pleasant one, but it just gives such a fruit in my life that I cannot complain, truly, I cannot.
Very good, very good. We would not recognize 'pleasant', if it was always pleasant. If all we were eating was sugar, then we would not recognize sweet any more. The contrast in the taste makes the taste vibrant and alive. That`s why this world is called the world of duality. It has both tastes, it always has.
But still, can we ask for, I don`t know, good life, in a way? Even though I see, yes, it`s just...you cannot expect, but it`s such a beautiful result that you cannot even imagine, but still...You know, in daily life, is it ok to, like, being more ShanH and not, I don`t know...
Yes, yes. But, by asking for ShanH many times, that is the only AshanH. There was ShanH, ShanH and then [Showing a desperate expression]: 'Oh, may I always be in ShanH, please, please...' That is AshanH. It was already ShanH. That`s why 'Click' [snapping fingers] works. When I click, I never find you in a deluded state. Anyone. [Clicks fingers] In that moment you are free. So, how to ask for that which you already have? [Silence] So, first I have to presume that I don`t have it, and then I have to ask the Universe 'Please give it to me'. That sounds like AshanH. And [chuckles], I`m saying these things, but to another I could say 'Yes, you might just bow down and ask for peace'. It`s okay, you see? These words are coming because maybe your ears can hear them. Another set of ears may need to hear another set of words. [Silence] Just don`t take yourself to be that which you are not. That is the end of ignorance. That which is being pointed to you is fully apparent then. From that place, if there is a request, then I`m happy to hear one.
Ok, so, there is a prayer then and it`s just “I don`t want to be bothered any more with 'myself' “. You know, I`m somehow fed up from this. I`m actually fed up to bring it to you too. I`m fed up to offer it again and again and I`m fed up to experience life still with this, and I`m fed up, just, it`s still in the experience, somehow. Like, yeah, why, why it is…[Laughing].
Why, why, why... What is that thing we use to say oeen? The why poem, what is it? 'Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly, man got to ask himself why, why, why?' 'Tiger got to rest, bird got to land, man got to tell himself he understands'. This 'why, why, why', it is the doorway to trouble. The 'who, who, who', on the other hand, is the doorway to the Truth. [Pauses] Thank you, thank you, very good.
I don`t want to leave.
You cannot leave. And neither can I.
Just, can you show me now. What, I don`t know exactly, but, like, when you say 'Don`t take yourself as this one', like, who you are speaking to, to whom you say this?
Don`t take yourself to be that which you`re not, and all that is been spoken in Satsang is just Consciousness speaking with Consciousness. But, I recognize that within my Being, there are aspects of my Being which are taking themselves to be that which they are not-that which is just in time, that which is just body-mind. And somehow there is some life energy here within Consciousness to keep pointing to that aspect of Consciousness which seems to be playing the game of limitation and individuality, to let go of that, to let go of that, you are not just that. You are much more, and much beyond what you can think about yourself. [Silence] You are much higher than the highest concept you can have about yourself, and much smaller than the smallest notion that you can have about yourself. When you realize that both are the same one, then you are free.
Both?
Higher than the highest and smaller than the smallest. [Silence] That you are. Got it?
[Laughing]
All you have to do to get that is to jump forward and backward at the same time.
You know, actually I cannot find something as person any more.
Yes. Exactly. And yet, the narratives have to contain a person.
It does.
So, as long as the narratives are for fun and just for communication, they are fine. But if you take the narrative too seriously, then Consciousness plays the game of suffering, and apparently there is this antidote to suffering called Satsang, and that`s the game that we`re playing now.
Yes, that is what I wanted to offer today. It still can play like this. Not always actually, just there is too much space and spontaneity, let`s say, also in experiencing life but still it is here, I want to offer this to you. Where there is still holding, I want to offer it to you.
Yes. Just Hll we meet next Friday or Monday, whenever we meet next, just have no concern about yourself.
[Laughing] I`m pleased, I want to forget about myself.
First forget about all the concerns you have about yourself. That`s 99 percent of it anyway.
Ok, so I will do this.
Yes, very good.
And, what am I supposed to do in next Satsang?
No, at least Hll then, and then we`ll take a fresh outlook.
Okay, okay.
Thank you, thank you.
Key Teachings
- All perception and experience occurs within your own Being - there is no real boundary between 'this body' and the rest of existence; the distinction between 'me' and 'another' is conditioning, not reality
- If you don't take yourself as a person, others' opinions about you as a person cannot affect you - the highest suffering is solving non-existent problems
- You are much higher than the highest concept and smaller than the smallest notion you can have about yourself; when both are realized as the same one, you are free
From: May You Find That Which Is Beyond the World – Blessed Christmas - 25th December 2019