श्रीरामSatsang with Ananta
Awareness & Attention

What Are You Taking Yourself to Be Now?' Is the Fundamental Question

True seeking requires wanting Truth more than mind's desires, and simply noticing distractions without self-judgment is sufficient - self-criticism only amplifies the ego.

Seeker

I just recently landed a job and it's something to do with philosophy, and it seems very good.

Ananta

What is this job that has something to do with philosophy?

Seeker

There’s this thing called Barefoot Philosophers. It's run by this philosopher called Sundar Sarukkai. They organize these workshops for children related to philosophizing and critical thinking, also some articles and all that. So, I'm not sure yet; I've yet to learn, but it's been like wow, amazing. One concern was coming up….

Ananta

It resonates well with your heart?

Seeker

Yeah, it does. But one thing that's been coming up often. Because it will involve a lot of reading and all that, I’ve been wondering whether it will take me away from Satsang in terms of time and also in terms of engaging with the mind. But since you’re saying these days that don’t be a guardian to any state, so I’m not bothering too much about that. But the thing I wanted to ask you is….

Ananta

Actually, you reminded me—let me share a quick story before you get to the question. So, what happened at one time—I don’t know how it is now, but at one point, there were many, not philosophers, but psychotherapists and psychiatrists who were coming to Satsang. Then what happened is, one of them, she got very active in doing psychotherapy and helping people in this way. But what happens is, as a psychotherapist, you have a certain template that you have to follow. So, you cannot go beyond those guidelines too far. You have some flexibility, but you can't go too much beyond them, otherwise you can be reported or something, especially in America because they're very strong about these things. So, she came and complained to me one day that she's so tired of listening to people and she just wishes she could shake them up and say, “But who are you, but who are you?” She was just, of course, venting.

Seeker

I was there when it happened. This was Bhakti, I think.

Ananta

No, this was actually—maybe Bhakti also said something like that, but this was much earlier, this is much before you came. So, it just reminded me, some of this….So, don't worry, I told her the same thing that trust the intuitive intelligence to provide the words in those times and it has no trouble operating life in whichever way. But you don't have to get into any sort of identity. You can just allow it to function in this way. And if there are some things, because if you're hearing two conceptual frameworks—you’re hearing the Advaita conceptual framework and you're hearing the other philosophers that you'll be working with—there’s bound to be some contradiction in any conceptual frameworks, otherwise it would be the same conceptual framework. So, don't worry when these sort of mental conflicts arise. You just allow it to unfold, allow it to play out, you'll be fine. And if it gets too much, we'll see at that point what to do with this.

Seeker

Yeah. So, this is the question I had, Father. So, basically my question is that when I tell attention to not bring back its content to me, and when I give myself the instruction ‘Don't be’, I feel both of them go back to the same place, and I think that—and this I've confirmed with you also—you say that's the Being. And that is a sensation in the chest, I feel. And what is aware of that, when I ask—this Awareness thing, I don’t know, I’ve never got it, what is Aware of that also. So, this knowing aspect of attention that brings to it that knowing and being, they both seem to be the same thing as this Awareness.

Ananta

Yeah, so firstly, I want to tell you that this Being itself is not like some halfway house to your final home. It is very beautiful in itself and most of spirituality actually just guides to this Being itself. It is full in itself, there’s nothing missing there—because many can beat themselves up in that “I can come to Being, but what is this Awareness, what is aware of this?” It can become then conceptually frustrating and all that. So, we don't need to worry so much about that. When you say that I see that my Being is the core of it, I would say the core of its Presence can be experienced as if it is in the heart region. But if I was to ask you,“ What contains that?” Because if you're able to locate a core, then we're also able to say that there is something besides that. So, what is that which contains that? Is it separate from it?

Seeker

Contains, I’m not sure, but it seems limited, it’s like that sensation, it has its boundaries….

Ananta

That's what we're looking at. [Lifts hand, palm clenched into a fist] So, I see, for example, that this fist is at the centre of the screen, okay? So, if it was only the fist that I was aware of, then I could not say that, isn't it? I have to be able to say that it is at the centre of the screen because I'm aware of the perception of fist as well as screen. If it is only fist, then I could not say it is in the centre of the screen. When we say it is located in the chest region, or the heart region, then we must be aware of where that is also because if that was all that you were perceiving, you could not locate it in space and say, “But it’s located only there.” So, we're saying okay, there's a palpable sensation of my Presence, which is at the core of my Beingness, which is felt in the heart region—we cannot say it is the physical heart; it feels like a heart region. So, now the question is: Okay, that is there, but what is around it? What is it at the centre of? What is that?

Seeker

So, I could say that the body is around it, and maybe at a further distance, the world around, these walls, building, trees, things like that. Yeah, that is contained in that.

Ananta

Okay. So, let's say that the perception of the palpable sensation of the Presence is in the same place that all other perceptions are perceived. Would it be okay to say that? Because you said the same thing, like body sensations and world sensations contain that, isn't it? It's in the same space as all other perceptions?

Seeker

Same space? Uh….

Ananta

Okay, let's try an experiment. You can close your eyes for a moment. Just see if you can bring your attention to that palpable presence of Being. Also, you're hearing the sound of the bird, is it? Or you can imagine a tree.

Seeker

Yeah.

Ananta

Now, the imagination of the tree and the sensation of the Presence—of the palpable Presence that you’re perceiving—is it in different spaces?

Seeker

So, it's like this: The attention brings back this mental perception of the tree to that place, like these wires that take it back from there to there….

Ananta

Exactly. So, attention brings that to light. But it's not like attention has to take a leap or jump out of some boundary and go to different, different places, isn't it?

Seeker

I don't know how attention…whether it leaps or not, but….

Ananta

Investigate that. Like it seems like one cohesive—the words are difficult here, so let's call it ‘the space of Being’ in which these words may be heard, that tree may be imagined, that Presence may be felt—it doesn't feel like you have to visit two different stations to find these, right?

Seeker

It does appear that there's a space between them, sort of….

Ananta

Correct. But even that space is something that attention traverses and there's no distinct break in that space anywhere within which all of these perceptions are being perceived. So, you're absolutely right. When your attention is on your Presence, then I say, okay, imagine a tree. Then it can feel like there's a space that attention traverses to go to that. Now, bring your attention to this voice. It can seem like there's a space that it traverses to go to that. Now, if I were to say listen to the bird. So, that space is not this outer perceptible space, isn't it?

Seeker

Yeah, yeah.

Ananta

So, what is that? What space is that? Because it is not this space. Now, in that very same space, if we have a dream, it can create a full manifest world. We just close our eyes and all this we can be introduced to in another imaginary realm of objects, of things, of thoughts, of emotions, where the possibility to perceive these words, where the possibility to perceive everything exists. So, what is the screen on which all of these perceptions work?

Seeker

It's like that sense of Being, it sort of expands a bit, it sort of fades out and it seems to not be contained in that limited way, it seems to sort of extend further…

Ananta

Yes, very beautiful, very good. That is why usually I don't say bring your attention to your Being because your attention actually cannot leave your Being. Your attention actually cannot traverse anything other than your Being. But when the Masters have given us the advice, “Bring your attention to your Being”, what they are talking about is the palpable Presence which seems to have its core, for many, in the heart region. But it is not as if it is distinct from everything else because you will find that that Presence itself, although it seems so tangible here, it never really goes away whatever other objective perception we may be having. And that is why we can, from this sort of recognition, see that all happens within this one space of my Being, including a very palpable taste of the core Presence of what we may call ‘the sense of Being’. But Being is everywhere—we can actually say everywhere is in Being. But these are experiments and contemplations.

Seeker

So, this Awareness thing, I'll just like…leave it to you, as usual?

Ananta

Forget about it for the time being.

Seeker

Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Key Teachings

  • You must want Truth, your Divinity, more than the mind's propositions and attachments - full commitment is required, not half-measures
  • Noticing your tendencies and distractions is enough - don't judge yourself or make it personal, as self-criticism only amplifies the ego
  • The meeting with the Master (your true Being) cannot happen while holding duality, desire, or attachments in one hand
desiremayasurrenderself-judgmentcommitmentegoopenness

From: 'What Are You Taking Yourself to Be Now?' Is the Fundamental Question - 26th November 2019