What Are We Here For?

[Paraphrasing a Sangha member] So he says, ‘To know in actuality what we are, versus what we have been believing about our Self’. When we say ‘to know’, what do we mean by that? [Silence] So we already said, not intellectual understanding. You know [Points to his head] you are the Self, you know it intellectually, isn’t it? Or if you’ve been in Satsang long enough you know that you are Awareness. Bhagwan [Sri Ramana Maharishi] said that Awareness is your name, so you know it. So this knowing everyone in Satsang has, and if you’ve come for the first time, you will hear it - you are the Self. But we want a different type of ‘knowing’, what is the type of ‘knowing’ we want? Everybody knows now in their heads now, that I am not the body-mind, I am the Self. So what is the different type of knowing we want now? You want more conviction? Okay let’s take this point before we come to Self-knowledge. Many of us think we have to be more convinced, ‘If I was just more convinced that I am the Self than I am the body, then I as this body-mind would be sorted.’ Many of us also feel that, that its just a matter of conviction, ‘I just have to convince myself more and more, believe, why you believe you are the body-mind, believe that you are the Self.’ The problem with belief is that no belief is permanent, all beliefs are shaky. Somebody comes more authoritative, more credible, and he says, ‘Drop all this nonsense, it’s brainwashing!’ [Chuckles] All brainwashing, make something of your life. You are this body- mind, death is your destination, but you try and do something for yourself, for the world before that’… whatever the debate maybe. So, a powerful authority or credible voice may come and he may say ‘But all of this talk of the Self is rubbish, you are the body-mind’. And because it was just a belief that I am the Self, it will get shaken up. So it’s not a matter of conviction. It’s like, if you take a simple example, if our eyes are closed and we are hearing two voices, one is saying; be careful there is a ditch right in front of you and is you take a step in front you will fall, another voice is saying be careful there is a ditch right behind you, if you take a step back, you will fall. But your eyes are closed. So, based on who you feel is more credible, you’ll believe that one. If there’s a familiar voice, ‘Oh that’s my mother, she will not lie to me, so I’ll believe that voice’. Or if a more credible voice comes, ‘Oh that is my Guru’s voice, so that is more credible, so I will follow that’. So based on what we feel is more credible, more truthful, we will believe that. And then, if we open our eyes and see that there is no ditch, either in front or behind, it was an April fool’s day prank, or something like that, then there is no need for belief. There is no need for belief, you go beyond belief in your direct recognition. So we go from wanting belief, conviction, to wanting direct insight. So when we say, ‘we know’ - I don’t want to know just intellectually, I want to see it for myself that I am the Self. This is how we go, isn’t it, and this is the place most spiritual seekers get stuck. ‘I want to see it for myself, that I am the Self.’ What are we expecting to see? A mind blowing experience? Some may say, I want the Darshan of the Lord which is beyond possibility of what is usually seen in the physical realm. And it appears, and it disappears. This is the trouble with all experience, all perception, everything that comes, it goes. So if you’re waiting for an experience of the Self, if it is going to come, it is going to go. And what have the Masters told us, the Sages told us that that which comes and goes is not real. So hoping to see our Self, beyond intellectual conviction, has got us into this mess, isn’t it? ‘I see it now, hear it is, the Self, I went inside, inside, inside, inside, ahh, there was this shining diamond, this is the Self.’ But this is just another perception. And attention goes somewhere else, that perception is gone. So what is it that we are waiting to find? Is it just another perception, we see that perception and then we’ll have some conviction that I am the Self, is it like that? We can really look at these things because this is what, seems to be what most spiritual aspirant are doing.