The Truth Cannot Be Spoken

It is a bit strange to look at the list of participants. Because there was one constant over the past five years or maybe six years. Well, nothing is completely certain, but [smiles] almost as certain as the sun is going to come out, you would know that Amaya [being in Sangha who passed away) will be in Satsang or be listening to Satsang. It is a bit strange to even consider the idea that there could be a Satsang in which she is not here in this way. [Silence] But, really, more than grief, what is here is so much gratitude, so much thankfulness to her expression, that beautiful form of consciousness that played as Amaya. [Silence] I feel like these are also really very good opportunities to really contemplate, to really look deeply. Because, of course, it will be nice, it will feel a bit light, it will feel a bit easier to mythologize all of this a bit and start looking at this as some very fancy version of some mythical play that happened. And that’s the beautiful bond that we put on our own and we can say that all of this we understand, how it was and how it actually played out, and we have realized that it was meant to be this way. And, some of you have shared very beautiful versions of this, which are very sweet, and I enjoyed reading all of them; it was really from the heart and heartfelt. But I really feel like there is a greater opportunity here. There is a greater opportunity here to not interpret, not judge, to not conclude that we understand, but to really be with it in full open acceptance without relying on needing to have a version, an understanding that is mental of what death is and what actually happens or happened in her case. And, in fact, not just death but also life. The same unfathomable. And when we make our interpretations and when we make our judgments about what life is or what death is, I feel like it is a sort of avoidance, a looking away from this ‘reality’, which in its phenomenal aspects can sometimes punch you in the face, unexpected. But to say that I understand, this is why it was, I feel like that will be not in full service to what even in her death she has pointed us to. [Silence] Is it possible to meet this moment empty of a conceptual understanding, empty of a story or a mythology around the events of the past few days in a completely open reality? [Silence] I posted a little while ago about her last message to me before she came to India. She said that the book is almost complete and I have some suggestions for the name, and then she typed only one suggestion and said [smiles] no other suggestions are actually coming. She said that the suggestion is that ‘The truth cannot be spoken’. And, of course, as usual with whatever she came up with, [smiles] I did not want to say anything like no, no, this is not good, or let’s do something else. I liked very much what she had come up with and said yes, that must be the name of the book. Because that has been the theme, in a sense, of Satsang over the past few weeks or months. And then I said to her, because she was just preparing to come to India, I am so happy that you are at home, so much love to you, come home soon, or something like that. And of course we can spend a lot of time on this aspect of the story and talk about how that eventually turned out to be her home, and these kinds of things. But my feeling is to bring our pointers to the first part which is that the spoken truth can be confirmed that this is how it is. And, if it is not so, and we are empty of a conceptual truth, does that itself mean that we are lost? Empty of an understanding of this world play, are we in touch with the greater reality, or would our mental version be a better reality? This is the question that is at the root of it that is our mind version ever representative or accurate in terms of defining even this phenomenal reality or that which is your direct experience here and now. That, which I would like to say for a moment, is beyond life and death, here and now. Is that more naturally our home? In this unborn, in this undying, as the great Indian sage Kabir said, build a home here.