The “I” that is Oscilla#ng, is that True?
The unchanging Self cannot oscillate - what appears as oscillation is only attention moving or content changing, and identifying with these is misidentification.
I experience that when I feel good, it’s like ‘I Am’ and when feelings like bad days come, I feel like I lost it.
That’s the thing…
That’s not true like you said, that’s just the manifest that changes.
Very nice, very nice, thank you for bringing that out because many of you have this report for me which you say that, ‘Oh Ananta, I keep oscillating, I keep oscillating.’ But how can you be oscillating? You are the unchanging. So you say I oscillate between myself the truth and the false. But if the truth is true then it cannot oscillate. Again it is because we have this notional idea of good and bad, we’ve taken some category of manifest experience and said this is ‘good’ and we’ve taken another category of manifest experience and said this is ‘bad’ and we do this in spirituality also, especially spiritual marketing – come to satsang, you will always feel good; discover yourself then your feelings will always be blissful! You see, it’s not about that. It’s not about that at all. It is not about which feeling arises or does not arise. Let everything come, all is a child of Consciousness. Consciousness does not discriminate between its children and say, this is good, this is bad, this is not my child, this is my child. All is a product of the waking state. Then what happens is, notice that when you say, “I keep oscillating between Truth and false then that I which is oscillating is that true?”
No.
No, you see, in that idea of oscillation itself there is a misidentification. So this is the trouble. It is never you that is oscillating. If you could oscillate in reality then that you would not be worth finding and putting so much effort for. [Silence] So what happens is when we come to this discovery many times we carry this little ‘me’ on a backpack, you know, behind us. We carry this monkey on our back and we’re coming to the Self , the monkey on our back is whispering in our ear, ‘This is very good, look at the great feelings here, it is so nice, you could live here’ you see, ‘This is the life this is what you wanted!’ you see, the monkey is saying that. Then when the content of the manifest changes, which it always does, then the monkey says, ‘Aah you see, you lost it. You were going so well, you were going so well, I don’t want to live here, let’s go back.’ So don’t listen to the monkey on your back. That is just the ego. It is only this one that is saying, ‘I like this house better, I don’t like that house, good-bad’, all of this is just the monkey mind. tiow can you oscillate? Oscillate and show me. If some feeling comes, have you oscillated?
[Laughing]
What do you mean ‘I oscillate’? If I could oscillate I would not be the Self. Sometimes because our attention goes, sometimes our attention is very res{ul in the Being [makes an Aaahhh- relaxed sound]. Sometimes our attention is on the computer [much focused look] and we feel that that is oscillation because attention is here or attention is there therefore, “I oscillate” But because attention oscillates does not mean you oscillate. It is just attention oscillating, let it oscillate. [Chuckling] Oscillate, I’ve said it so oeen I don’t know if I’m pronouncing it correctly. [Chuckling] I want someone to oscillate, not attention oscillating, not the content of experience oscillating, I want you to oscillate and show me. Because so easily we make this report, ‘Ananta I’m always oscillating’. [Silence] We are still identifying with the wrong object, we are still identifying with something which is not the truth. Who is going to oscillate and show me and if you can’t then you forget about this oscillating thing!
[Laughing]
Who has oscillated over the last week, [Looks at the Zoom sangha] You have been oscillating? Come on Saskia you come, how did you oscillate? S1: I see the…there is a strong belief that if I see, get upset with man, if I have some tears, that’s it, then I’ve lost it. Even the person you know, you’re still clinging to that.
Thank you, thank you for sharing that, for exposing that. Because you see it is all in the phenomenal isn’t it? It’s just appearances, that appearance comes, a man comes, or whatever and then the feeling comes, all of this is in the manifest. Where are You? Did you change your position in reality or is it just attention that is going here and there, apparently, and we call that, because we are s%ll iden%fied with our atten%on or the content of our atten%on, we call that oscillation. So that we can take this out of you, can you try to oscillate now in Reality. I know this sounds childish but I want all of you to actually try and do it. Because just as the Self, that which is aware of everything, try to move that around or try to shake that One up. You just can’t do it. You just can’t do it, you see. So anytime you make a report about you oscillating just remember it is not so much the content that you have to be so concerned about, whether it is a relationship issue or the emotion thing, it is not really about the content it is about the misidentification of the ‘I’ as if it is really ever affected by the content. You getting what I’m saying? So just contemplate, what can appear here [waves his hands around him] in the manifest that can actually shake you up in reality. Suppose you see one ex- partner, who has caused you a lot of pain, now you’re witnessing that and he crosses your street or something like that or rings your bell or something, so what does that shake? Does it actually shake your reality or what does it shake? S1: Not the reality.
Not the reality you see. So we spend far too much time in trying to fix the content of what is appearing and give too little time in contemplating who is that, who is actually shaken up in all of this. I’m not saying we have to wash our hands off the world or anything like that. I’m saying, as much time as we give to fixing the content we can use to actually see, who is really affected by any of this? And a very good manifestation of this is when I saw that the mind is so attracted to ‘why’ , so attracted to ‘why’-Why does this always happen to me? Why does she do this to me? Why did he do this to me? Why is God like this? Why is my Master like this? Why is my life in this place? All this why, it loves the why, why, why! But it hates the ‘who’. Just one alphabet difference –W H Y and W H O [Sangha laughing] it hates it. ‘Oh no noo, we don’t have time for who because we have to figure out why.’ But unless you figure out who, the why will never be resolved. So it is the ‘who’ which is primary in all of this. But you notice the nature of the mind is to cling to the ‘why’, especially, ‘why me’. [Sangha laughs] So all of you will you leave this idea of oscillation because oscillation happens to the non- existent one, you can never oscillate in reality. And if you’re not convinced then you come up and let’s speak together because I can see this is a very common affliction. So all of you who have this concept, ‘Yes I’ve had great moments of Self-discovery but also then I also get completely caught up in my false ego, you see’, then just contemplate this question, who are speaking about? Who is oscillating back and forth? It is a very common affliction isn’t it? Truth cannot oscillate. The Self cannot oscillate. You cannot oscillate in reality.
Key Teachings
- The 'I' that appears to oscillate between good and bad experiences is not the true Self - the Self is unchanging and cannot oscillate
- What we call oscillation is actually just attention moving or content changing in the manifest, but we mistakenly identify with these movements
- Instead of asking 'why' (about content), we should ask 'who' is affected - investigating the identity that appears shaken