Let’s Try to Lose our Self Instead of Trying to Find our Self

For a minute, let’s all try to loose ourselves instead of trying to find ourselves. Just come to a state where you ae not. Even that which is aware that I am or I am not, even that one is not, let’s lose that one. Yeah? Let’s do it, we’ll do this? Even if it sounds silly or childish or absurd, let’s have some trust and do this. So try really hard, lose yourself. Like don’t be yourself, don’t be. [Pause] Who’s succeeding? Don’t feel shy, anyone succeeding at losing yourself? So, so what are we looking for again? That which we cannot loose. But…anyone has a bit? [Laughter in zoom room] And when put in the light of questioning like this, you yourself are realizing the absurdity of the ‘but’ isn’t it? Because all of you who came up and tried to say something you were laughing more than saying. So you realize the objection from the mind especially when looked at in the light of Satsang, in the presence of the sangha then that seems to be quite absurd isn’t it? But when it is done in the dark of the mind, sitting alone, and it says, ‘But, is that it?’ Am I just not just faking it?’ All these objections when they come in that way and you don’t expose it in your own light then it can feel like a real problem. But in one way or another the objection is linked to ‘What is the benefit of this?’ Okay simple I can’t lose myself, I tried, tried [ making gestures of trying] I’m still here. No matter how much I try, I’m still here.

So, but… what?

So it’s a spiritual problem. [Chuckling]

We have too much spiritual knowledge so we feel like ‘When did I get rid of the false?’ or ‘This I that I’m finding can still be the ego, how do I know?’ Is it like that? [Silence] No false ‘I’ has ever existed that’s why it is false. Can we ever get rid of that which never existed? The biggest problem in the universe is to try and solve a non-existent problem and that is why this spiritual problem is impossible to solve because it doesn’t exist. Get rid of the ego. Kill the ego! Banish the ego! [Chuckles] How to do that with one that doesn’t exist? So, the ego you cannot find and the Self you cannot lose. S2: Father we can find the ego in the form of this voice which keeps saying I am this…? A; But that is just the lawyer, no? That is just the lawyer of this client. But can you find the client? The voice is speaking, because there is a voice does it prove there is an enHty. Suppose the voice became a frogs voice tomorrow, ‘I want mosquito, I want mosquito’ will you start believing that you are a frog? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe that’s what it's about and I’ve been saying this - Because there is a narraHve, because there is this subHtling voice we believe the idenHty of that one which has never existed. But don’t we want to push the standard a liZle more than just there being a voice now? Because all of the Masters have told us that the voice is a trickster. The mind is not your friend. So, if we keep falling for that voice and we trust the existence of an enHty who is really there, it's saying ‘I want pizza. I want pizza.’ One day we looked, one day some young one was there and he was really frustrated saying ‘But what are we saying! I can’t! What are you trying to say?’ And then what we said is that suppose from the next room you are hearing this voice ‘I want pizza, I want pizza’ and you’ve been supplying this one pizza for the last ten years there comes a point where it is never saHsfied. So, then doesn’t it compel you to go and look? Who is this one who is ge^ng all this pizza from me? And when we go looking we realize there is nobody, it's just been a mythical idea. It was just a voice represenHng nobody. So, who does this voice represent? Haven’t we suffered enough from this voice already to at least make that exploraHon? Make that exploraHon. Whose voice are you? And if I find you then I promise you that I will give you all the pizza you want. We’ve just handed over everything to this voice. If somebody comes at your door and says ‘Who are you? Show me your ID’. First, won’t you say, ‘But who are you to ask for my ID?’ So, the percepHon of this voice is a common human condiHon. But because this voice is heard does it mean that there must be an enHty who it is represenHng? And if the enHty was so apparent then shouldn’t we see its shape, its color, its size, its birth. Whose voice is it? Whose voice is it? So, the spiritual seeker is the most confused one cause this one it cannot find and that one it cannot find. It's looking with its eyes and trying to find the ego, never finds it. With its eyes it's trying to find the Self, can never find it. So, it's caught between two mirages. Fully confused. And someHmes it will replace some phenomenal experience of maybe some joy or some chakra or some experience or some astral travel or some past life experience or something like that and we feel like I’m finding the Self. Isn’t it? And then, ‘Okay! Then I was Free’. But it was just more phenomena and nothing to do with yourself. So, it cannot find the ego and it cannot find the Self with percepHon. Then? It finds the ego and the Self through concepts. The ego through worldly concepts and the Self through spiritual concepts. And then its life becomes like a tennis ball going from worldly concepts to spiritual concepts. That is no way to live. We’re missing life in this ping-pong game. So, independent of either of them, independent of all noHons. You tried, no? You tried to lose yourself, what happened? Was there an ego si^ng there? Did you come across an ego? Scary looking creature si^ng there which you had to kill and destroy to be free? No such enHty exists. The idea that you have to kill the ego is the ego.