How Can I Get What I Want?

[Reading from chat] There is an idea of selfishness that seems to be a favourite grievance for ‘me’ (in quotes) my selfishness that is - less worried about others and more about ‘me’. These are also all variations. [Smiles] Some are more worried about others and less about ‘me’. How can I get what I want, need, etcetera? So, these are the desserts of the mind. The starters are “Okay, I want a nice house,” or “I want to be free,” or whatever the want is. The dessert is, “Now that we have understood spirituality, how could I be so selfish? I am so unworthy for wanting.” [Smiles] And we have seen this gradation, in a way, as we have grown up. Children, first, they are absolutely innocent, absolutely fine, no concept of want-not want. Then, this whole worldly knowledge is taught to them. And then they say, “I want this, I want this,” and they keep insisting, but they are not yet feeling guilty and bad for wanting. They just want. “I want cricket bat,” means I want. There is no “How could you want a cricket bat?” I just want. It’s simple like that. Now, as we go beyond this innocence also, and we come to this point where we know things about whether it is good to want or bad to want and which way is good to be and bad to be, then we can feel this is the best way for these ideas about how we are supposed to be. So, in a way, this is what she (Sangha member) is saying. It is like not the selfishness itself which is saying “I want this, I want that,” but saying “I am feeling so guilty or bad about my own selfishness” and “Is that also selfish?” [Smiles] But this is the thing: Now, empty of all of this, there is no such burden that you have to carry. No such burden. You do not have to be any which way — you aren’t, anyway. Don’t have to carry any of this. And, what we are speaking of is just one blip on our radar. [Smiles] This one, [points to himself] this which seems so intimate, ever present, this body — just a blip on your radar. [Smiles] Just like that. It is here now. We don’t know how long it will be. It’s nothing. So, you don’t have to figure out the contours of this blip on the radar. [Smiles] What is the radar? Who is aware of this blip? On which screen is all of this happening? [Silence] So, in idea after idea, the protagonist is the ‘me’ — even when the idea is that “I must come to freedom, I must not be selfish.” Who are we talking about there? Just that one blip, no? Just that one thing on the screen, that tiny object. That’s it. Just this reference point is removed, that’s all. Then, no tricks, no ploys, no nothing. [Silence] It is not about what you are doing or not doing — and, by doing and not doing, I mean it is not about the activity which is being expressed through this body-mind. It is just about what you are taking yourself to be. Don’t take yourself to be anything at all. Don’t take yourself to be anything, including Brahman, Absolute, Self, Atman, Paramatman. Nothing at all. Don’t even take yourself to be nothing, because that is one nice idea we can have. He’s saying, “Not even Brahman, not even Atman, not Paramatman, none of this.” Am I just nothing? No, of course not. That is also just an idea. It is not impossible — if your mind is telling you it’s impossible. It is very natural, actually. You were taught this nonsense. This was not natural to us — to take our self to be something was not natural to us.