A Good Contemplation- What are we in this for?

I feel like there is potential for a good contemplation, for all of us to check. What are we in this for? Are we in this so that the ‘me’ is primary and God is the assistant? So God is really the servant and we are happy with that kind of paradigm. But the minute it is realized that the situation may be reversed and then ultimately realized that there is only One, there is only God. So, it is only the middle seeming step of the process which can seem a bit constrictive, which is that, it is me that is subservient to the will of God and that is true surrender. As we are coming to see that there are not two… So, many times in Satsang we ask. ‘Who is it, that you want to be helped?’ Is the Master the customer support, [and you] saying ‘I signed up for this life. I paid the full subscription and I was told the Master will help me and please help me’. Is it like that? Is that the relationship? It can seem like in the beginning. But I have a sense that I am speaking to you, all of you [who] are spiritually mature enough to hear what I am saying. So, is it like this? Or is it like - is our openness to accept everything that is playing out in this life, in all the layers of our existence, is everything then accepted with openness as the Master’s Grace. And as long as it feels like there is a separate me who is the experiencer of all of this, what is the position of that experiencer? Is that idea, notional idea of ‘me’, the separate ‘me’ – is that in service to the one that is leading this life or does this one still only want this God-assistant. It sounds like a fabulous idea, isn’t it? For most people in the world, if you went and told them, you just go this Satsang, or you got to any temple or you go to church or go wherever and you go a few times and you just put your head down and say ‘I surrender to you Lord, you please take charge of driving this wheel, take charge of the wheel now, you drive this car or truck or whatever it is’ and then what will happen is, the highest power in the universe will help you. Who will not want such a deal? Everybody will want it. What else could we ask for? ‘Hello, I got my genie’. Just rub the lamp of surrender and ta-da ‘Yes my Lord’, God comes and says ‘Yes my Lord, what do you want?’ But the minute we start to realize it is not about what my mind wants, what this voice of separation wants. In fact by invoking this God or Satguru’s presence, what is happening is that our individuality is being consumed in our intuitive insight of our True Reality, then that can seem like it is a bit scary, ‘I am not getting what I want, that’s why I was here, because I thought I will get what I want with the lot of peace, with the lot of joy added on like the cherries on top.’ Not only should I get what I want but it should also come with love, peace, joy - all the beautiful things. So that was the deal we thought we were making but actually, the deal was to start to see more and more that the ‘me’ that is the desire-est ‘me’, the ‘me’ that wants was never my Reality any way. Then what is your attitude towards this? Are you willing to allow everything that unfolds in this life, which you call your life, to be according to the will of the Satguru, the will of your own holy spirit, your own Being, Presence? Why? Because it is True. No other why. Not a single reason about ‘Why it will help you’. Just ‘why’ because it True. And that’s why I keep saying are you Hred enough of living the lie, that you are willing to consume your will in the Higher will? Or is it still that ‘Let thy will be done, so that ultimately my will be done’ or is truly ‘Let thy will be done’, is it truly Guru Kripa Kevalam or is it still Guru Kripa Kevalam because it helps ‘me’? So, I feel like this is good for some inner contemplation for all of us. And it is important to hear these words because ignorance is like a blind spot. We don’t end up spotting it for ourselves. We feel like ‘But I surrendered so well, I was completely in service to the Lord.’ Whatever representation or expression of the Lord which appeals to your heart you can use that. You can say ‘I surrendered so deeply to the Lord, but still he did not help me’, but that is not the deal that the Lord signed. There is no such deal – it is the Lord’s job to further your delusions about yourself. There was never the deal. The job of the Master, of your holy Presence, is to bring you to your Reality, to bring you to the end of ignorance – from darkness to light, not to further the darkness because it pleases you. So, just notice this for yourself. In your heart, check on what is True? What do you really want? Would surrender still be an attractive notion once you realize that it is not meant to fulfill some ideas that you may have about your life? And by the way, remember that this idea includes the idea of enlightenment. Because you may be hiding in that corner, saying, ‘I don’t want anything else from God, all I want is enlightenment.’ And for whom do you want this enlightenment? For whom do you want this enlightenment? So not even that you can hold on to. So the surrender-ers have to surrender every notion they have about what they want and also of course the notion of ‘surrendering’ and ‘surrender’ itself. That is true surrender. Everything that I am saying is supremely obvious stuff (or at least it should be). But what can happen that the mind is that the master sorcerer of creating these blind spots of ignorance. So, it’s important to spell these things out sometimes.