Day Three - Contemplating the Ashtavakra Gita - 23rd August 2024

So contemplate for a few minutes: what is the basis of the boundary that you made around yourself? What is your boundary and what is the basis of that? The sage is saying either everything is me or there is nothing here which is me. But what do we take ourselves to be? What is it that we take ourselves to be and what determines that boundary? For Janaka said, 'As I alone reveal this body, even so do I reveal this universe. Therefore, mine is all this universe, or verily nothing is mine.' Can this be true?

Where do you start and where do you end? Some of you fall into this track where the mind says, 'Okay, now I see this, so what does this mean for me?' and you bring the locus back to the body-mind. So don't get into that trap. 'I see I have no boundary. Okay, now that's very good. So what does that mean for me?' Don't get into that trap. You take the antidote and then take the poison again; it will not help.

So now if this is true, then you are that pure awareness within which consciousness takes birth, and this world is just a superimposition on that consciousness. It just appears and disappears. So don't refer to yourself in this false way as this limited 'me'. And if that seems like it is too much, then at least don't make the half-story. What is the half-story we talk about? The 'me' as if the 'me' is the main character, but we don't mention the main character actually is God, whose pure presence is always here. Is it so? How about if every story started like this: when you wanted to talk about yourself, you said, 'God, God is here,' but, 'Oh, God is here,' and then start with what you want to say about the 'me'. Because that story then is more complete. Otherwise, we are in neglect of that which is the most important element which we need to convey, and then we are completely trapped in Maya.

So tell me about what is happening with you. You have to start with 'God is right here' and see how important the rest of it feels. It is only in the forgetting of that. So if we look at this Vedha-Avedha which we are talking about, on one hand Avedha means that there is no distinction between myself and the ultimate reality. I am that. So the pure awareness, you have not suffered, nothing has happened to you, you have remained unchanging through millions of universes coming and going. And even upon that insight, you may feel that something about the 'me' is relevant. So that distinction, Vedha element from the ultimate reality which is Nirguna Brahman, that you have to put it in the right construct, isn't it? Because if you put it in the false narrative, that is the root of Avidya, that is the root of ignorance, and that ignorance causes suffering.

So if there is such a 'me', which there isn't, but as long as it seems like and you feel like it is so true, then we must say that God's presence is here. He is here. He is the light of life and I am very happy, or but I am so unhappy. Because we have lived in neglect of the main element of this story of this life, and that has caused all the trouble. Now, can you do this with your friends in a business meeting? Probably not, unless you're just getting caught in some spiritual pride or something like that, unless God is moving you that way, probably not. But at least for yourself, constantly have the sense that He is here, His presence is right here. Then the mental, psychological suffering that you're giving to yourself, that will diminish if not vanish.

So let's put it in a metaphor or let's put it in a construct. Suppose you came to Satsang today and you meditated very deeply, but Krishna was sitting on the sofa, you see? So you went back home, they asked you what happened in Satsang today, and you just said, 'I meditated very deeply.' Would that be the full story or the correct story? Did you not miss out the most important part of the story, that hey, Krishna was sitting on the sofa when I went to Satsang? Is it? And that is what we are doing with our lives. We're taking out the most important element and we're sticking to that which is not even on the surface. It's like a superimposition. The snake doesn't actually exist; it is only the rope. It is only God.

Now the sage is asking you: who is witnessing your sight? In the sense, to put it simpler, who is looking through your eyes? Where is the audience of one that we speak of? Is that one the 'me' or is it God? Is it Brahman who is sitting here in Satsang? Is it you, the 'me', whose ears are hearing these words? Now some of us may say, 'But this is not my truth. I don't see this to be true for myself.' Then you say, 'God is here. I don't see this to be true.' Then you say, 'Brahman is my true nature. Nirguna, formless, shapeless, sizeless is my true nature. I don't see it to be true.' So you must recognize that although that perspective is the most popular and widespread in the world, it is a—maybe the word will come across too harsh, but that's what's coming—it is a diseased perspective. We are afflicted by the disease of Maya, and Satsang is a rehab for that disease.

Do we really want to spend the rest of our life neglecting the most important part of life, or the only thing that makes it alive? That is my job. Some of us have been in Satsang for five years, seven years, some maybe for ten years, but even now our lips don't speak of God. Our mouth doesn't speak of God. God is just a side character in this story of 'me' for many of us. And if God is still too much of an aversion, then replace 'truth' with 'God'. It is the same thing. The story is still 'me' and God just is an incidental, only when you believe that He can help the 'me'. Aren't we doing the same thing? Krishna is sitting right here in the room, but we are just involved in some other games that we are playing among ourselves. So turn inwards and see the great reality of your life. Go beyond perceptions. Me, God's presence, in the light of this holy presence, this Atma within you will come to the truth about who you are.

Then King Janaka says, 'Oh, having renounced the universe together with the body...' You see, because many times we fall into this trap that we say, 'I am not any of this,' but we don't include this. And that we make a boundary about ourself here with the body and then say all this world appearance is not me, but we forget to apply that the world appearance is also this body. He says, 'I'm not this body and I'm not this universe.' Both were important to say because we may say that in the universe this body is included, but many of us actually do this: you say, 'I am none of this, I'm not any of this,' but 'this' I am. So the attachment to form still remains. He is saying, 'Having renounced the universe together with the body, and now perceive the Supreme Self through the secret of wisdom.'

What is this 'perceive' and 'wisdom'? It's not really perceive because the Supreme Self is unperceivable, but you have to use some words, so the translators have to use some words. But I recognize the Supreme Self through the secret of wisdom. What is this wisdom? Again, not conceptual wisdom. So both perception and wisdom here are not to be taken like they are taken in the world. It's a deeper recognition and it's a heart knowledge. Atma Darshan and Atma Gyan are actually the same thing. The knowledge of the Atma, the knowledge of the Self, is the same as the Darshan, the recognition, loosely if you were to use the word perception, of the Atma and the Self. But it is unperceivable. But you have a space within yourself, you have a place within yourself where knowledge and recognition are the same thing.

What is that place where knowledge and recognition are the same thing? Like this, that innermost chamber of your heart is where the holy presence lives, presence of God lives, the Atma lives. From there everything is emanating. Everything is emanating. But to come to that recognition, King Janaka told us that he had to renounce the world and this body. What is that renounce? Is it to let it go, get rid of it, 'I'll not open my eyes again and I will not tend to this body'? This means I'm not attached to any of this. I'm not bothered with the outcomes that are happening in the world and for this body. The renunciation is an inner renunciation, not necessarily an outer one, because most of you know that he continued to rule his kingdom even after this.

So, too fast, too slow? Because these words are actually explosive and each line is giving us so much insight. We can really take our time. Any place where anyone is stuck? I mean, I'd be surprised if you're not stuck anywhere, but anything that you want more pointers toward? Attaching out of... we're not attached... this then still your... your action, my action, and therefore my outcome.

Inner renunciation, not necessarily an outer one, because most of you know that he continued to rule his kingdom even after this. So, too fast, too slow? Because these words are actually explosive and each line is giving us so much insight, we can really take our time. Any place where anyone is stuck? Ian, I'd be surprised if you're not stuck anywhere, but anything that you want more pointers toward?

It's attaching out of... we're not attached. Still, your action, my action, and therefore my outcome, or at least a seeming curiosity about what that led to, or grasping at a certain outcome which we define to be good. So, what is your boundary for... yeah. So, thinking about where I'm getting stuck, or is the boundary? And it doesn't seem like I feel stuck, but what I do feel is like the morning begins with ads and then sit in this presence for a long time. The day starts off and then it feels like some battery drain kind of thing, like as if I'm getting more involved and the boundary is becoming more restrictive. And then there is this sudden urge to go and sit quietly again, and then it seems like that thing is reestablished, that connection is reestablished. It's requiring—I shouldn't say 'but' it's requiring—I'm fortunate that even that's happening. It's requiring six, seven sits a day. Luckily, I have the time to do those sits whenever it so is required. Initially, there was this sort of half-pursuit of, 'Oh, you know, when we see you, it's tempting to... oh man, I'm doing too much work maybe.' But now all of that is gone.

Just repeat that part again. Like, if I have to... battery draining happens, I have to recharge. Draining happens, recharge. Does it seem like too much effort compared to...?

No, it doesn't actually. It's just like when I see you, it's like it's very tempting. Like, I wish I was like others, even 10%, right? That used to be the case. I'm saying no, but even that, let me clarify that. There's a lot of work needed in this one, I'm sure, a lot. And without prayer, inquiry, without just consciously making the effort to spend time with God's presence, I'd be as disconnected as anyone else. So it doesn't feel stuck or helpless. It's like, oh, what needs to be done is very clear and it just needs to be done with humility and repetition and dedication. And yeah, so since you asked, you know, if you're not feeling stuck, it's a problem. So I was just reflecting on that. And yeah, maybe that also is some form of being stuck because work is being required. Maya plays its tricks here as well. And in some ways, I don't know if it's better or worse, but the seeming lack of oxygen when you seem disconnected from your heart, that is very strongly felt here. And therefore the need to quickly return, retreat, whatever you may call it, is very much here.

And maybe never get stuck in this idea of an effortlessness which should be the perfect sort of situation. The effortlessness, the ease, just keeps increasing. It keeps increasing, you see. But we must never fall into the trap of, 'Oh, but it should not require effort anymore,' because then to not fall for Maya's tricks, or to return once we've fallen for them, is always going to seem effortful. Because we never grasp without what we are grasping seeming valuable, is it? If it did not seem valuable, we would not grasp things in the world. Therefore, to let go of that seeming value always is going to seem like effort. And mostly, after you've let it go, it may not seem that valuable anymore, but it may actually tempt you again and again. But that process we all have to go through. And if we are feeling like we have transcended Maya completely, then we may be getting trapped in a sort of spiritual ego, pride, somewhere.

So really, the feeling that came here is that God is here, and yet the moments which I take out and make about myself, those are the moments where I'm stuck in Maya. It's like we're looking at the night sky and the moon is shining fully, but we are just focused on some tiny star that we can't even see properly and we're saying, 'The light is a bit dim today, you can't see that Venus or something like that.' What a strange thing we are doing to our lives. And all of us are doing it because Maya is also anadi, beginningless. So something more is coming to say. So how many moments are we feeling that God is here with us, and how many moments are we feeling that we are by ourselves? And what are the afflictions of this way of life? Loneliness, anxiety, worry about the future, what is going to happen—all of that is because we've forgotten the most important thing, the very thing—and I'm sorry I'm calling it a 'thing'—that is giving light to this life, that is making everything appear, that we are neglecting. And I do that every day as well. I may do that many times in satsang also. So this is what we are all walking, this path together.

But the beauty of this is that the more we encounter the holiness of this presence, the more we will start to feel like we can't, we can't live without it. I mean, we can't live without it anyway, but we start to consciously recognize that. It may not be as straightforward as that because as you come to this presence, Maya will obviously pull out all the stops to try and pull you out. Firstly, it'll make something more important. And often not talked about, these things where it'll seem like the perfect business opportunity has appeared, the perfect partner has appeared, the perfect something has appeared, you see? These things can seem to happen, and they happen too often for us to say it is just mere coincidence. But Maya pulls out all the stops for us to not spend time with the Beloved in the heart. It doesn't want us to surrender our life to God. It doesn't want us to live in the truth of who we are.

So many times we may want to run very quickly after meeting God's presence. We may want to run. But really, if you can just persist—and if you keep coming to satsang, I feel like you will persist—then you will find that living any other way is just not worth it. Does it feel like we are alive at all without the love, holiness, the completeness of that we sense in our heart? So even right now, are you feeling that this is you by yourselves? That is a very lonely way to live. Real loneliness in this human existence is not recognizing that every moment the highest one, the greatest one, is here. And if there's only one of us which is here, it is Him, not me. It is never just me alone, because He is that boundless ocean on which universes come and go as if they are ships, as if they are arcs.

So it is upon the discovery of this that King Janaka is going to say, 'Now I'm wonderful. I'm so wonderful.' It sounds like a very prideful thing to say, but he's not talking about his ego. He's saying, 'Wonderful indeed I am, beyond adoration. Even adoration is not good enough for me. I am that wonderful,' because he's recognizing his union, his oneness with that reality, Truth, God. Is it soon after this? 'As waves form and bubbles are not different from water, so the universe emanating from the Self is not different from it. As cloth when analyzed is found to be nothing but thread, so this universe when analyzed is nothing but the Self. Just as the sugar generated in sugar cane juice is wholly pervaded in that juice, so the universe produced in me is permeated by me through and through.'

So he is now saying he's seeing the unity, the Advaita, the non-distinction, that 'I am that.' So he's saying just as we cannot say this part of the sugar cane juice has sugar and this part doesn't have, in the same way, it is all me everywhere. Every part of this universe is permeated by me alone. So there's a beautiful set of words we sing a bhajan out of that sometimes where it's said, which means that I am the destination, I am the journey, and I am the journeyer as well. So these things must be spoken from that true insight of oneness, the true insight of unity, that 'I am that. The whole universe is made up of me alone.' So then there are many, many examples of the same point.

Then at verse 11 he says, 'Wonderful am I, adoration to myself, who knows no decay and survives even in the destruction of the world, and everything from Brahma, who is the creator of the world—not Brahman, Brahma—down to the clump of grass. Wonderful am I.' In the earlier version we read, 'And wonderful beyond adoration.' So from that true place of insight, now the King Janaka, now the Janaka is saying, 'Wonderful am I, that right from the creator of this universe to the tiniest blade of grass, everything is I.' But remember again, only from true insight. That's why I said it's a very dangerous scripture, because it's very, very beautiful, but if you... because something inside us loves this, 'Oh, how wonderful am I.' So make sure that that is the true place of recognition. Instead, the frustrated seeker can many times find a lot of relief in these words that, 'I can just... I don't need to pray, I don't need to inquire, I don't need to do anything, I'm just so wonderful, everything is me anyway.' But then these are just words, and when life slaps you, then all these words will be the first to go. So don't just fall for the words; let it be your true insight.

'Wonderful am I, adoration to myself, who those with a body and one who neither goes anywhere nor comes from anywhere but abides pervading in the universe, does not come and go, the unchanging reality I am.' What is the difference between Janaka and Ravana? Both are saying the same thing: 'I am the greatest. How wonderful am I.' Separation. 'I, I, you.' And that's why at the start of satsang I was saying that don't fall into the trap of recognizing or even understanding any of this and then applying it personally to me, to the 'me,' because that is the dangerous part of this scripture. And that is why the scripture was kept in secret for a long, long time, and only for very, very mature seekers when the teacher felt they were ready, then it was brought out. So don't take it personally.

'Wonderful am I, adoration to myself. There is none so capable as I, who am bearing the universe for all eternity.' Who is bearing the universe for all eternity without touching it with the body? So, 'I am that who's holding up this entire universe.' You are that. How wonderful you are. No words of adoration can fully describe you, fully talk about your glory, that you are unchanging reality upon which all that changes rests and is superimposed. That is your true nature. And in meeting yourself this way truly, most of your pride will burn. When you come to the darshan of yourself in such an authentic way through true insight, then there's no room... like the ego seems like a worthless waste of time. You won't want to spend any time in that. So meet it truly in your heart.

'Wonderful am I, adoration to myself, who have nothing or have all that is thought and spoken of. Knower, knowledge, and knowable—these three do not exist in reality. I am that stainless Self in which this triad appears through ignorance, the ignorance of Maya.' So knowing, knower, and known—these distinctions are not true. True knowledge is one knowledge. There are no three there. So the idea of the subject-object relationship is just made up, is notion. So the subject doesn't exist, the object doesn't exist, and therefore the relationship between them doesn't exist.

Oh, the root of misery is duality. There is no other remedy for it except the realization that all objects of experience are unreal and I am pure one Consciousness and Bliss. The root of misery is duality, dvandva, it is called. So this duality is the root of all suffering. When there is duality, there is either desire or aversion. Without there being two, without me and other, without even me and mine, there is no suffering. 'I am pure Consciousness. Through ignorance I have imposed limitations upon myself.' Constantly reflecting in this way, I am abiding in the absolute. How are you imposing limitations upon yourself? Huh? Believing the mind, believing ideas of limitation, 'I am the body.'

Duality, it is called. So this duality is the root of all suffering. When there is duality, there is either desire or aversion. Without there being two, without me and other, without even me and mine, there is no suffering. I am pure Consciousness. Through ignorance, I have imposed limitations upon myself. Constantly reflecting in this way, I am abiding in the absolute. How are you imposing limitations upon yourself? Believing in the mind, believing ideas of limitation. 'I am the body. I am this one. This is my life. This is what should happen. This is my house. These are my things.' All limitations. But you are that on which universes come and go.

Father, yes, sorry to interrupt like that. I hope you won't say that the mic's not been working since the beginning. The mic is just fine? Okay, yeah. No, because it just is relevant. You were asking about what gets in the way of insight. And when it's so clearly seen that it's like believing in thought and me in a separate sense of identity, I have to say even when where I also get stuck is even when there's no thought or a sense of identity, there still feels like kind of like a locality, like a central location that's here that's separate from you over there. Like that it's my presence, you know? And so that's kind of where the stuckness comes in too. So it's easy to say 'my insight' or 'my presence' like I said, or something like that, you know? Because it does feel so local. It feels so much like what I am and who I am that it's hard not to make everything about me even without thought too, like in a way, you know? I don't know.

Let's look together. This is very okay. This is very good contemplation. So what I'm hearing you say is that even when I'm not believing my thoughts or identifying with any narrative, what happens is because I'm looking out of this meat basket, therefore I have this locus of centrality which seems to put everything like this, you see? And then there are these sensations. There's this body, sensations, maybe pain or pleasure in the body. All of these sensations are there and then naturally, even without thought, I take myself to be this. Yes. Now let's see if that is true. So remain without any story, without any narrative. Let your vision be natural. Nothing. If it seems like you're looking from here and it is not from there, notice now if there's any idea of here or there or any distance at all. What is distance without a thought?

Now the thoughts will come in the guise of non-thoughts. They'll try to insert themselves in: 'No, no, but this is not a thought, but this is how you see it.' So don't fall for that which is claiming on your behalf to see it a certain way. You see it organically for yourselves. What is the distance? What is the difference between here and there without a thought? For what you mean when inserting the 'me' in your insight, like claiming it. When you say claim, when you claim it immediately, I see that. Yeah, the claimant then messes up the claim itself. The instant the claimant arrives, then the claim that we were going to make is all contamination.

That's why Janaka's words must be read as if they are coming from the innocence of an infant child who is not taking any of this pridefully. He is saying that he's basically saying that 'I am the lord of the universe,' but he's not saying it personally. Where is the me and where is the other really? I feel the key question in all of this is that independent of thinking, what is apparent to you right now? Is it just the perceptions? On what are the perceptions floating? If it is just a bunch of floating perceptions, in which space are they floating? Who is the substratum of these perceptions? Is that different from the witness? And is that witness not apparent to you? And I'm saying apparent, not perceivable.

Are they all floating without you? And if they're floating without you or they're floating with you, then are you here as the body on which they are floating? Be careful not to visualize these words. Are these perceptions independent of you? And if they are dependent on you, then are they dependent on this body? But isn't the body just another set of perceptions? So are all of these perceptions, including the perceptions of this body, both the sensations as well as the visuals, are they not dependent on you, which is beyond perception? For Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi asked, 'In whose light do you experience the light of the sun and which light?'

So let this be the main contemplation for today. That without any thinking, what is apparent to me most naturally? What are these perceptions dependent on? Is that one who witnesses all of them, is that one apparent to me in some way? What way is that? And if this light of this universe is within myself or is myself, then why am I living in a neglect of it as if it doesn't exist?

I have neither bondage nor freedom. Having lost its support, the illusion has ceased. Oh, the universe, though existing in me, does not in reality so exist. I have known for certain that the body and the universe are nothing and that the Atma is pure Consciousness alone. So on what is it now possible to base imagination? Body, heaven and hell, bondage and freedom, as also fear—all these are mere imagination. What have I to do with all these, I whose nature is pure Consciousness? Oh, I do not find any duality. Even the multitude of human beings therefore has become like a wilderness. To what should I attach myself?

I am not this body nor have I a body. I am not Jiva. I am pure Consciousness. This indeed was my bondage, that I had thirst for life. Oh, in me, the limitless ocean, on the rising of the wind of the mind, diverse waves of worlds are produced forth with. With the calming of the wind of the mind in the infinite ocean of myself, the ark of the universe, unfortunately for Jiva the trader, meets destruction. How wonderful! In me, the shoreless ocean, the waves of individual selves according to their nature rise, strike each other, play for a time, and then disappear.

So just this boundless ocean I am, on which all these waves appear as if they are separate, individualized, but actually they are not distinct from the ocean at all. But they have a play for some moments and then they merge back into the ocean. So are you the ocean or the wave? Are you eternal or time-bound? What is under the surface of perceptions for you? The more innocent you are here, the easier it will assimilate in your heart.

So as the last time, just try to maintain as much silence as possible. Let these words marinate in your heart. Let by God's grace may true insight emerge and may the illusion of the false fall away. Try to remain empty of any story. And if you are going to indulge in stories, then have the full story which includes God as the main character. Sing the Hanuman Chalisa.