In the Movement of AZenHon, can You lose Your Self?
Awareness can never be lost or go outside of you; what appears as outward movement is only identification with body sensations, while Self-Knowledge is an unperceivable recognition independent of attention's direction.
Yes, I feel like…because I just lee Monte Sahaja actually. I was there a liZle bit more than two weeks….and coming out I feel like a lot of my aZenHon is going outwards again. And it feels a bit hard because I want to stay inside, you know?
Yes, yes.
But something is really being pulled outwards. And I’m feeling myself being distracted quite a lot and yeah...
Let’s see if I can help you with this. Let’s see, this is a good way to start Satsang. So, with the movement of aZenHon, what happens? What happened just in the pure percepHon, just in the movement of aZenHon? Can you lose yourself or is the Self not apparent to you because of that?
I feels like, it feels like that, yeah.
Yes, ok, so what is the other mode of aZenHon, where would you keep it? No stress, we’re just exploring together as friends. So we say that ok, now my aZenHon is going this way, you see, rather than some this way and then in the movement of that aZenHon this way or that way, one is beZer than the other. Now, if your aZenHon was inside, then where does it go?
Yeah, it’s more like it’s resHng. It feels like, um, yeah, it feels like I’m being aware that I am aware. You know?
So now, as your aZenHon is outside on your computer or phone, have you lost Awareness?
No.
Where can you send it in your room so that you could lose this Awareness of Awareness, as you say it?
Yeah, it can never be lost and I feel that now when you’re saying it.
Yes, yes, yes.
But somehow it is a belief in this when the aZenHon goes out. I feel like almost like I’m not beeing aware that I’m aware anymore.
Yes. I’ll tell you a secret, ok? Now, the aZenHon can only go out. There is no “in“ for the aZenHon to go to. Wherever aZenHon may go, we can call that “out“. So in the absence of percepHon, in the absence of sensaHon, your aZenHon is sHll on the dark empty space. Isn’t it? So you may say that “I find it easier when my aZenHon is on my Being“. You may say that. But actually what you’re then saying is that “it’s on the core of my Being or that which feels like the essence of my Being, the Source of all this light is my Presence itself, and aZenHon feels more res{ul that way.“ But actually it’s always only traversing your Being. It can never go outside of you. It is only possible when you create a noHonal boundary around yourself, which is that you take these body sensaHons to be your boundary.
Yes (nodding).
So now I want to ask you: as your aZenHon is in front of you, are there only percepHons or do you recognize naturally something else as well?
Can you say that again?
Yes, yes. Do you recognize only the percepHons? As you are just le^ng your aZenHon go free, are there only percepHons here or is there something beyond percepHon as well?
Yes, there’s a sense of something beyond percepHon...
And can that be perceived?
It can’t be perceived, but it feels like it can be recognized somehow.
Yes! This is the thing. (smiling) The unperceivable recogniHon, which is only possible to do with the Self.
Yes. (smiling)
It’s impossible to recognize it any other way. So that is how insight, intuiHve insight about your own Self, which is also called Self-Knowledge, is different from wordly knowledge or perceptual knowledge.
Yes. (smiling)
You see this? Now, is it independent of where your aZenHon is or is it dependent on where your aZenHon is?
It’s not dependent.
It’s not dependent. You see? Now, but it seems dependent on one thing, seems dependent, “seems“ is the operaHve word there. What does it seem dependent on? It seems dependent on your idenHficaHon. So if you were to idenHfy, then it seems like that Self-Knowledge goes into the background somehow, although it really doesn’t. But Consciousness has given itself the ability for it to seem as if it does.
Yeah. (nodding)
They are subtle points and I’m happy to go through it throughout Satsang today, but this is very important. So what can happen is that although in Reality nothing changes, ignorance or misidenHficaHon or taking yourself to be the ego is when you idenHfy with a noHon, with a thought.
Yeah.
So just with pure aZenHon or pure percepHon it is not possible to be ignorant or mental or mindy or egoHsHcal. So this is the master key because then you’re allowed to live your life just like all the sages are living their lives without having to put any sort of constraints on their aZenHon.
Yeah, maybe it feels more like there has been belief in the thoughts. I feel like at the moment there has been more belief in the thoughts actually, yeah.
Yes. Now, one more Hp I will give you is that...have you heard of the metaphor of the thief that I’ve been sharing?
I don’t know, but you can, yeah, please share it.
So like we just saw, nothing really gets in the way, except this ignorance and ignorance only comes from the mind, isn’t it?
Yes.
So now, if the job is to not fall for this trick or to catch this thief, do you feel it’s a good idea to call up the thief and say: “hey, where are you at? (you know?) I want to come and catch you.“ Do you think that will work out well?
Probably not. (smiling)
No, it won’t work out, because it is not the thief that is ready to surrender. The thief only wants to preserve itself and not only does it want to preserve itself, it also wants to dominate. It wants to win, it wants to be the only one that is ruling this world. So to go to the mind, to get a diagnosis about what is happening to us, is like calling the thief saying, “I want to catch you. Can you tell me your address, please?“ And that will not work out well. So then if our presumpHons about what is happening to us are coming from the same source, then how credible is that? See? And this is the number one reason that most spiritual seekers don’t become spiritual finders. Because the mind keeps us on this trip, keeps us on this treadmill saying, “ah, it was like this then, it is like this now“. But it is the thief pretending to give you the way to catch the thief, but it’s never going to.
Yeah. (smiling)
Key Teachings
- Awareness can never be lost or go outside of you - it only appears to go outward when you identify with body sensations as your boundary
- Self-Knowledge is an unperceivable recognition that's independent of where attention is directed, unlike perceptual knowledge which depends on perceptions
- Ignorance comes only from mind identification with thoughts, not from where awareness is placed - pure awareness/perception cannot be ignorant
From: Your Discovery Is That You Are Without Any Reference - 4th September 2020