You Have Always Been the Timeless and the Limitless - 19th December 2017

Then one last point I want to make is that you do this many times: even when the insight is quite clear to you, the mind can come in and make it seem like, 'Now it is personally clear to me and I got it again.' You are drawing a boundary around yourself and saying, 'This one who is either this body, you are contained in this body, this one got it.' And then you are not only trying to convince everyone—me, some family, everyone—but you are actually trying to convince yourself. The outer manifestation is just the projection of this because you have self-doubt. So this self-doubt also arises because we might pick up the idea of limitation again. There you might pick up the idea that 'I am contained' or 'I have the body,' but it is consciousness itself which is coming to the recognition of itself. Okay, let's hear some of the questions or reports which are coming in. Thea can come first if she's there.

Hello, can you hear me? Hello. Okay, well, I'm just going to be... I'm so grumpy, Father. So, I don't know actually what to say because everything is wrong anyway. But what just came up when you spoke was that I'm somehow missing, missing, you know, this... there are always two personalities playing. Of course, there are always a lot of personality types playing, but one is here, the one who just loves to, you know, to worship the beloved. And this other one was totally the opposite of that, you know, just totally rebellious. And these two are fighting. I mean, when I'm in this worshipping mood, you know, everything is fine. I just, you know, surrender everything to the beloved, just everything is fine. But now this other personality is playing, which is just totally rebellious and everything... I take everything personal, everything, really everything. And even, and especially when others are worshipping, yeah, I get so angry. I get really angry. I just don't like it at all. And I'm missing, I'm missing the other personality. I have to speak better. I just realized that I'm just missing... I'm just missing to be grateful, to be, you know, to be at the feet of the beloved. I'm just missing it. And you know, I don't know what else to say because everything else is just... yeah. And then, you know, I just have the conviction somehow, surrendering is needed to be free or something like that. So, but in the seeing, nothing is needed, you know? And yet the personality just wants to play surrendering or something like that. And I cannot say, but I put it on you, at your feet, you know? And that makes me grumpy again.

Thank you, my dear. So you said lightly that it can seem like there are so many different personalities which are playing, and some can seem completely contradictory as well. One wants to be the devotee, one gets upset in the devotee's hand. But why should I be that? You see, with all the same self, you see, and this can come, it can go on. But this is how the personality is playing. But you also... I got in your report that just being able to say that also means that you're able to witness this play. It also means that actually these personalities could be playing, but you look at both of them because one who does not have this distance is not able to say, 'I see the personalities playing.' So already that distance is there. You are able to see that this is the play of all these various conditions.

And both these two—take an example of these two personalities—both have different conditions. One has the condition of devotion, of surrender. The other has the condition of the one who has seen the truth, he has seen that ultimately realities are like that. But actually, both of them are not the reality of you. You have seen the truth; the personality has not. You experience devotion in your heart; the personality does not. Now, how do you make up the personality out of it? We take a position, either this or that. It is in your emptiness that your insight came. It is in your emptiness that the devotion has come. So both are actually present, you see? But when we say, 'I am this way or that way' or 'I want to be this way or that way,' then all this can seem like very sticky.

Then not only are you fighting with your own seeming personalities, you're also fighting in your mind with all the other apparent personalities which seem to come up, you see? So when somebody says, 'I am seeing that you and I are one,' then your devotee personality can say, 'I am at your feet.' You see that, Father? Or if someone is saying, 'But I am just at your feet, Father, and I'm just worshipping you,' then your personality which has seen that we are one can come up and say, 'No, no, but what is this kind of worshipping and things like that? This is not right. We are one. We cannot make this kind of, you know, very sentimental devotional statement.' So something like these contradictions are the byproducts of us taking a position.

Now, the good news is that like I was saying before, right now they are gone. So right now we are empty of any of the many ones. And this is already complete. The mind can give people images of the personality resisting or just quietly dying in isolation or something like that, you see? Something the mind will paint for us. And something else, you know, 'No, no, I can't let it be better than that.' You see, it can't just be that this moment took care of everything because I was bonding with these things for quite some time. And it's quite an anticlimax for the mind if you just say, 'Father, it's all gone now.' But it is gone now. In every moment it is cleaned up. No position can actually be held onto. That is why positions are tiring, because we have to make the effort to hold onto them again and again and again. And that's why we get tired.

But who's the one who is addicted to brokenness? Who's the one who's addicted to grumpiness? Okay, I think why all of you get so irritated with audio is not good. I'm trying to hear you work, so that's one win already. The good news is that we applied for new internet yesterday, so it will take by this week. In this week it should come. You should have the best internet available in Bangalore. And if it still doesn't work, yes, you all have to come here.

Who is the one that is addicted to grumpiness? The one that is here, that is here. Who is the one? We can say, who is the one addicted to this play of personalities? It is not even an addiction; it is like the play of consciousness itself. So consciousness is playing because nothing is greater than consciousness. No creation of consciousness can be greater than consciousness. So it cannot be that something came and nothing can come and make consciousness believe itself, believe the personality. So consciousness is finding some joy playing with the personality, you see? It might not feel like joy, so don't misunderstand the word. You can feel very grumpy. Something wants to... this consciousness wants to play with that. And then consciousness itself is coming in this outer form of Ananta. I am reminding you that, 'But I am free from this,' you see? 'I am not this.' So consciousness reminding itself and consciousness deluding itself. This is the Lila of this.

Because I can tell you that the 'I' is also one of your multiple personalities, not something outside. He is also one of your multiple personalities. All of this is our multiple personalities. All that we see are aspects of consciousness. There is only one consciousness, which is your being. So something is enjoying the 'I' personality, the grumpy personality. Something is enjoying playing with another personality. Something is enjoying with the rest of everything contained in this movie. So this being is playing with all of this: quality of the emotions, quality of sensations, then quality of letting go of all of these identities. So here what I can see is that one of my personalities is called Thea who is saying, and one of my personalities is called Ananta who is seemingly responding. But I am just that being in which all of this is happening. And I am speaking of your experience. Your experience is very much this, but your interpretation, my interpretation can be different. I'm really enjoying this grumpiness. That's really a triumph. Let's look at this. This is... think what you say. I want to look at this together for a minute, you see? Because this is very important. Because the happiness is there now. If outwardly you were enjoying it, then that would neutralize the grumpiness, you see? So you're not neutralizing it outwardly, but what you are actually doing is you're able to see now that consciousness somewhere, my being somewhere, is enjoying even the grumpiness.

It can be different. I'm really enjoying this grumpiness; that's really a triumph. Let's look at this. Think what you say. I want to look at this together for a minute because this is very important. Because the happiness is there now, if outwardly you were enjoying it, then that would neutralize the grumpiness, you see? So you're not neutralizing it outwardly, but what you are actually doing is you're able to see now. The consciousness somewhere, my being somewhere, is it doing even the stove without the feeling of 'I' or something? There is a deeper joy which is joyful about anything that might be experienced. It is joy. If I am repeating because the internet was not stable, it is joyful about anything that might be experienced and that is a beautiful joy. Then it's actually not even joy; it's only the spaciousness about it, you see? It's more like, 'Oh, grumpiness is there, okay.' It is not in resistance to any of that. So this is a very beautiful insight, is it so?

And I wanted to share this because many times it becomes confusing when the master says, 'But even this is for your joy.' You feel like, 'I can either be joyful or grumpy, so it can't be both.' So we're talking about two different levels. At the outer level, at the surface level, it might seem like a lot of grumpiness, a lot of anger is coming, but something deeper is enjoying the play of that wave on the surface because it is seeing that you remain untouched by this surface level play. Now what? Now nothing. Nothing, because this moment has already brought a fresh set of expressions. They are like the blank slates. I haven't used any notions about themselves.

So what is my next step? What to do now?

There's nothing to do, of course. And you know, I'm just seeing that I'm even really, you know, really enjoying to be totally identified and take everything personal. And you know, there's something... there's so much enjoying to be angry. Why this play? We say that everything that moves, moves with the will of consciousness. And for a long time, that is not understood. Why would consciousness want to make itself suffer? Why does consciousness get identified? Now it is becoming clear because as we have nothing, we are just all there is, and it can seem a bit boring. So what can we play with? This is why I realized me like this, you see? It is so simple. I am just not leaving. I'm just here. My existence is here, and ultimately this existence fades away into the greater 'I' from where it has to. Again, it is so simple and straightforward that consciousness itself says, 'Okay, what masala, what spices can I play with?' The truth is too strong; it's here every moment. When playing, it has to play with all the flavors, so it wants to even play that flavor of challenging the presence. This is the ego, the sense of individuality. And don't touch, don't take it too seriously what I'm saying now. Even the play of ego... ego is quite heroic actually, because it feels like, 'I am fighting that which is everything. I'm going to make it on my own.' Something like this. So it can feel like it is quite the prodigal son running, leaving the house, feeling quite heroic. Even it realizes, 'Okay, it does not work that way. It's not in my individuality. I cannot get the glory of my Father, which is my own being.' Then it comes back in various ways. It decides to come back. Usually, it implies that it is with the play of individual will it comes back, but it is with its own holy presence, which is the Father itself, actually.

This term 'Father' that so many of you use so beautifully, it's not a term for this body, Ananta. It is a term for your whole being, your own presence, your own heart from which the seeming individuality has arisen and now it is diving back into its own source. And this happens when your consciousness is aware. You can feel like, 'Others are giving me enough now, and now I want to be a bit independent, live it, you know, on my own, take it on what you like.' Is it like that? That is also part of this play. I feel part of this play. It has to be a divine illusion. It has to be a divine illusion. By divine illusion, what else could it be that made all there is identified with just a small set of sensations that which we call the body? And to say, 'This is the entirety of me.' And it is such a strong conditioning that even after freedom, you give to this one only this set of sensations, experiences of our self. First of all of this and beyond, but this boundary has been drawn to just its sensations saying, 'It is me. This is me. The rest is not me.' I'm not saying something about your some question that I missed. You take a bit longer than the few couple of minutes after you have to. Once a month when you come, will we look at this together?

Yesterday we got this beautiful gift from which now will give us this beautiful statue, a statuette of Lord Hanuman. And one of the beautiful things about Hanuman is that whether you believe in the concept of Hanuman or the presence of Hanuman is that even if you don't believe that there was the existence of a being like that, what he is pointing to is always helpful. We were already sharing the many, many, many stories of Ram with Hanuman. One of the beautiful ones is when Ram asked him gleefully—he knew in his heart, okay, but he asked him gleefully—'Hanuman, who are you?' And Hanuman said, which is the entirety of what we are speaking in certain phrases, he said, 'In the body, as the body, I am in service to you as a separate being. As Jivatma, I am something, a sense of existence, but individually I am merely an extension of you, the greater being, the greater Self. But when I truly see me, what I am, then I am you itself.' Knowledge and the greatest depths of the ocean, just in these three simple phrases. So one of these ideas, pointers, their whole divinity... don't even allow forms to give you some sort of aversion. Point to that everything is... if you are longing in your heart for the truth, everything is appearing to point to that. So these beautiful stories of devotion, of being in space by service to the master, are available to us in our daily life.

It's almost time for Guru Vachana silent sitting to start, so we will close the broadcast for today. Thank you all so much for being in today. What is happening is that one part of the house we now converted for satsang. So one is one room using a certain... thought this immediate one to share, and now we gotta change the camera back to say, by the way, love you, love you.