You Cannot Laugh and Think at the Same Time

I have to, you see. Yeah. How are you hostage to it? Tell me.

It's just here. It doesn't care if I am hostage or not. I mean, this is a tension inside my body and...

Okay, so just notice. Okay, slowly. Let's go slowly. What exactly is the sensation that you're experiencing right now?

You mean right now in my body? This kind of tension, this kind of tightness in my belly, at my chest. And it's been here for a week now. Not always, but it is here. And this was my question as well, that sometimes... sorry.

Okay, well don't worry. I know something wants to rush, but let's take time over this because I'm giving you the tools in this process, hopefully, to deal with these situations when they come.

I would be very happy.

Very good, very good. So now you noticed that there is some sensation of contraction probably which is happening in your body, in your heart area, in your stomach. You feel like something is uncomfortable, you see?

Yes, yes.

This discomfort by itself, you see, by itself, what does it mean without any interpretation from the mind?

Believe me, I know where you want to take me and I know this is the truth. But when I am alone, it's not... it really feels like this kind of tension, this kind of contraction can disconnect me from God. These kind of physical conditions. I mean, sometimes for hours I just try praying and surrendering and doing every practice, and I'm just going deeper and deeper in this tightness. And I don't know... I know with you it's going to work now, whatever you do, but yeah.

So when that kind of thing comes, that means that already something is loosening up. And it's not because of me or anything like that; it's just that you are bringing it to your true light. And when something comes to your true light and you're not rushing, you're not getting bullied by the mind, then you will notice that it's a bundle of sensations. And the mind is telling you that you are drowning, going deeper and deeper inside these sensations, but actually you are that untouched space in which these sensations are occurring. So who are these sensations actually hurting? How are they attacking you?

There is so much... there is the identification. When there is this tension, identification goes there and focuses on it, and I cannot cut this focus.

Slow, slow, slow. There is sensation?

Yes, yes.

How do we make a sensation into an identification?

I don't do it. It happens by itself. It just happens by itself.

Yes, yes.

I don't want to do it. Nobody would do it by... no, it's just really happening. I don't want it to happen. I want to be always with that. I just want to... yeah, sorry.

No, no, it's good. It's very good. So that is why we are hostage to it, because the sensation comes, 'I don't want to be identified with it, but I am identified with it.' Is it? And can I get identified without believing a thought? Like, try to identify with the sensation without buying into any idea.

To be open... because I know you are stronger than me and you will win. I mean, of course. And I don't know why I said this. I mean, my mind gets...

That's almost like the mind talking, that 'Oh, now I know I'm in Satsang, now during this interaction you are going to win.' I know the mind is saying...

I'm so shy. I don't know. I'm so sorry. I don't know how it came from my mouth.

I am very happy to hear it directly like that, you see? Because that is the voice which is oppressing you, actually. Because whose voice was that? 'I am so weak, I believe always again and again and again to this voice.' So after this long time with you, still I believe it?

Yes.

So let's look at it. When you are focused on God or you are focused on remaining empty for God, even during that time you believe it?

Because I put so much effort to be with God. This effort distracts me because my head just wants to blow up. So much effort, I want to be with God.

That's a very good trump card. That's a very good trump card from the mind. Because 'I'm putting... the problem is my effort to be with God. It is the effort only to be with God which is causing the problem.' So let's stop the effort to be with God.

Like that? Yes.

Yeah. And now to be with God, you say that 'I'm still believing after so long in Satsang.' So the effort to be with God is only the effort which it takes to drop that which is false. Or no? Can you tell me again, please? Sorry, I don't know.

Very good. For all of you, this is very important. For all of you, you see, when we say we must take the effort and then God's grace will work to be with God, what is the effort needed? The effort that is needed is to cut the chains, the belief in the false. If we did not fall, if you were not conditioned by the false, this avidya, then to be with God is the most effortless thing.

And this is the other... then after I see, okay, no need for effort, and I put so much effort to have no effort.

And what you do? I can understand. I can understand what's happening. Where is all of this happening?

It's all in my mind. I cannot step out from it.

You can't? It's just you... sure you can't step? I'm not sure. No, nobody is. Because you can spend some time with your nose inside of your mind right now, can you not? I do. What's happening on your nose right now? What are the sensations of the nose?

Because my mind said it's coming from my mind. Obviously, this is not the... this is not good. If I focus on my nose, this is not the highest, this is not the absolute. This is just some little practice so that you are not distracted so much. But still, after one minute, the thoughts will come back again. And after, come back again and again and again.

And so right now, what is happening is that you're hearing two voices. You're hearing the voice of this man from Zoom and you're hearing the voice of your mind, isn't it? You're hearing these two voices.

Yes. I hate this voice in my mind. I don't want to... why is it always here? I don't know.

That is the mind. The voice itself is called the mind, you see. So these thoughts are what is called the mind. Now, if you decided, 'I'm going to follow what this voice on Zoom is telling me and not the voice in my head,' then who can stop you from doing that?

I only trust you, Ananta. I only trust you. I don't trust this.

Okay, now whose voice is this? So let's do together. I am telling you, don't worry about what your mind is saying. See if that is possible just for one moment, for a few seconds. It is possible for a few seconds. Whose voice is that? I don't know. So remain empty. And in that emptiness also, you will hear the same voice which you're hearing—not in the same texture or the same tone, but the same one that is talking to you on Zoom is actually talking to you in your heart as well. But for that, first we need to just come to some peace. So allow a few thoughts to come and go. Not much. It's not so difficult. Just a few thoughts, one or two thoughts come and go. You start to settle. Just still like that. It's a great simplicity, actually. It's a great simplicity. Now don't make any conclusions. Mind will scare you. It will say, 'It's fine in Satsang, but wait for later.'

[Laughter] [Laughter]

I keep talking this week... just this only throughout the week. Not outwardly necessarily, although that's fine too, but inwardly like this. Yes, yes. Thank you. It can seem so complicated. We're stuck in the middle of all of this, we can't escape.

[Laughter] [Music] [Laughter]

She tried, she tried for a long time today. The lawyer for the mind. It is very, very interesting. This whole conversation I felt was very interesting because of how the mind can make the teacher, the Master, into an adversary initially and say, 'Yeah, yeah, I know you're stronger, you will do something.' But actually, that is... you know, all this kind of thing. But actually, it is the Satguru presence in your heart which is the one on your side. It wants to take you away from this. But we end up feeling that the mind's voice is actually representing me, that that is my true voice. Don't fall for these things. This is very important.

I don't feel like there's any child in this room, if you engage with me in some way, who at some point or the other doesn't feel attacked, doesn't feel like, 'Why is he attacking?' The same tendency. The position seems attacked. The position is what? That which can keep us in suffering for so long. It says, 'I can't do anything about it, this identification just happens,' you see? So it is actually saying that Bhagavan said don't identify, Papaji said don't identify, Guru says don't identify, I say don't identify—all in different ways. All of these people are lying; you can't do anything about it, you are caught. So no point being in Satsang. Run! You run.

I don't know why I come. It is no point. I know what he's going to say. He's going to say, 'Don't attach to thought, don't identify.' No point coming. You run! Why? Because it is threatened. If it was going in Satsang, it would not say 'you run,' it would say 'you stay.' I should always say something like this background laughter. That's why I'm not putting on mute; I'm enjoying that. At the point the boxer also knows that this round he is going to lose, so it's just like, 'You got me now, but catch me after!'

I want you to start like this, okay? Next time the pattern comes, a few times you can watch a recording. You can watch a recording when the grumpy one comes: 'No, it's pointless, I'm stuck.' All of us... where's the joint? Yes, yes, yes.