Who Am I ?

This sense of existence does not need to be remembered and cannot be forgotten, whereas mental knowing can all be forgotten. That which knows even existence—that I am, I exist—is this knowingness. Is this knowingly changing in any way? Can this knowingness diminish or increase? Can this awareness become tired or feel energetic? Can it be joyful? Is it aging with time? Does it have a location? And who knows of this knowingness? Who is aware of awareness?

The sense of existence, the sense I am, is a portal. It is that portal which awareness itself uses to experience itself as if it is something. So the play of something starts with this concept: I am something. I am-ness itself is the primary phenomenal appearance, but the game truly begins when it believes the idea 'I am something.' So the one 'I', this awareness, is 'I am' then playing as if it is something. I am something—the unlimited playing as if it is limited.

So to play the game of this something is to keep attaching attributes to this pure sense of existence. This or that, something or another, becomes the basis for conditioning, the basis for the experience as if there really is a person here, as if there is an individual 'me' here. So when we walk outwards through this portal of I am, then countless myriad of ways to play as an individual are available. I am an artist, I am a doctor, I am guilty, I am so proud—countless number of attributes and conditions we can believe.

But when this I am itself drops all these ideas about itself, and the urge within this I am-ness is to recognize the 'I' where it came from, that is called turning inwards. This way we walk through this portal in the other way. Instead of attaching attributes to I am-ness, we are now looking at the true nature of 'I' itself. Who am I?