What is the Difference Between Insight and Thought - 25th August 2017

But the trick is, that's what one of the clues is, that you will not see it like you see other objects. You will find yourself, but you will not perceive it that way objectively. That's why our Master says the only non-phenomenal experience that you will have—and just because it is non-phenomenal, the mind will come and try to deny it—but actually the recognition of it is undeniable. You are aware. And the you that is aware is not different or separate from this awareness itself. And this you will speak from your own insight. You see, this is what I mean.

I can tell you, I can tell you that you are awareness. So you can have it as an inference that, 'Okay, I am awareness.' So someone says why, 'I am awareness.' But it's just conceptual then. And you start to see. I ask you: Are you aware now? See, yes. What saw? What thing was seen objectively? Yet the answer is yes. It is very subtle and yet it is very simple. It's pristine. You can meet me here then. Because all I'm saying is, if I say, 'Do you see spectacles?' you look for the spectacles, you'll find something in the shape of a spectacle, you have the phenomenal perception of that, and you see, 'Yes, I see spectacles.' But if I ask you, 'Are you aware now?' even if attention goes to some objects, you are not saying, 'I am computer.' You are saying, 'I am aware of the computer.'

What is that aware? How is that perceived? If you say, 'I am sitting on a couch,' there is a knowledge of both sitting and couch. So don't let the mind trick you that you're saying yes to 'I am aware' only because you saw some content. Let me go very slowly. If you are sitting on a couch, you know both what sitting is and what the couch is. It is not just because there is a couch, therefore there must be sitting. So when you say, 'I am aware of existence,' then you must be aware of both what 'aware' is and what 'existence' is. But just because awareness does not have a quality, it does not have an attribute, it does not have shape or size, it can feel like, 'But I didn't discover this. I do not recognize this.' But you are. It is your most primal, most natural recognition because nobody taught you to be aware. You might have learned how to sit or stand, but awareness always has been.

And that's what makes it so seemingly ungraspable. You feel like, 'But that can't be. I have always just been this.' Is it that? Like I was sharing about Totapuri the other day, it's about Swami Vivekananda. So every time Swami closed his eyes, he would see some light between his eyebrows, and he never shared with anyone. Why? Because he felt, 'What's the big deal?' He felt like everybody would have it. It's like that. You always have been yourself, and the discovery seems difficult now because when you recognize it, you see, 'Oh wow, this has always been here. Where was I searching?' It's almost embarrassing. I often say at one point out you come, you say that an awakening experience is almost like a facepalm moment.

What if you get comfortable with it not being something special and yet at the same time very pristine? It's very simple. Without expectation, are you aware? What is the color of this awareness? What is aware of your sight, of any sensory functioning, or even this inner perception? What is aware of that? You are, undeniably, isn't it? You are aware of this already. But it will not conform to any idea of what should happen now. As you discover this, the idea that something should happen can also be kept aside. It is not a happening because it is what you have always been. Yet in the play, the recognition of what you have always been can seem like a happening.