There is No Way That You Can Miss Yourself - 26th May 2016
Saar (Essence)
Ananta emphasizes that self-realization is not a destination to reach but the simple recognition of the 'I' that is already present. He guides seekers to stop collecting spiritual concepts and instead directly notice the ever-present awareness that exists before any personal identity.
What the mind cannot fathom is looking for that which is looking.
There never was any bondage except as an idea.
Anything we attach using the power of our belief to this sense of existence is the play of being a person.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
So like this, someone came and said, 'Can you tell me the way to MG Road in Bangalore?' And I said, 'Go straight on this road and then you take a right and you take a left and you're on MG Road.' Then we say also to help, we say, 'See, when you take the right, there's this big pristine white building, very clear, very beautiful. And when you take the left, you'll see this big space, unused, nobody is using.' Then what happens? Then I expect that you just, we just look like this and we'll come to this destination, so-called seeming destination that we are talking about. But what happens many times is that first someone could feel like they're being misguided. They say, 'Oh, but when I spoke to that other one, he said first the space will come and then the building will come.' So can we discuss that? Hey? So I say, 'Go and check what comes.' 'No, no, but you know, that one seemed more credible than you.' 'Okay, I might be wrong, but can we go and check?' 'Then no, no, but I bought a map also which actually says it's like this, there is no space or there is no building like this.'
Then what happens is that we start collecting. So around this sense of getting direction, then we start collecting this other, start feeling, 'Well, is it what do you want? MG Road? I know, I know, I know this. You take, go left from here, then you will find this very, very beautiful restaurant, you know, and you go and eat at that restaurant.' You see what I'm getting here? The point is that we get so stuck in the ways to get there and what it must look like and what is the right way and what is the wrong way and who's saying what—is this the truth or is that the truth? They refuse to go and see for ourselves. This is the secret identity. Yeah, it is looking. You're saying, 'Can you... I am looking for the pen. Can you tell me what it's like?' And I say, 'Blue in color and got a white cover on top.' What else is needed? What to look for? That which is blue in color and got a white cover.
So this something starts enjoying the seeking itself. And the enjoyment of the seeking itself, the pretender could have such a terrible job of it and is the most transparent thing, can be seen through so easily. Something wants to make conclusions about what the pen looks like, wants to debate the color of the pen without actually finding it. It is not of great value to the one who is looking for the truth. You don't need to become the best seeker there. There are no awards, no medals for that. And then what happens? Unlike in the pen metaphor, unlike when we are looking for some object—when we are looking for an object, we start looking, 'Okay, can I find this red color pen?' So I go looking over here, looking over there, looking. And the mind is used to and comfortable with this kind of looking. It's used to this kind of looking: trying to find the best relationship, the best way to make money, the best way to take care of the body. Now it is trying to find the best way to become the best spiritual seeker.
What the mind cannot fathom is looking for that which is looking. How do you look for that which is looking? There must be... where can I go to find it? Conversation would be easier with children, actually. Little children, it would be easier because... must be right here! No? The one who's looking has been here. They're looking for the Self, isn't it? Self-realization. That means what? That that which has looked is now looking for itself. That it has looked for other things, the things, and now is playing the good game of looking for itself. Where do we go to find this? Where do I go to find the 'I'? I sleep, honey, and they should... and then we start fighting about what the 'I' looks like. 'No, no, I don't look like this, I look like this.' This is the truth. It's a sham, I tell you all this. The complete sham.
Because see, sometimes the shame, yes, because if you just open right now, there is no way that you can miss yourself. You exist or no? I'm not saying as what. Don't start debating. You exist or no? Who doesn't exist? Without putting the sense of 'as' something, can you honestly with integrity say that you don't exist? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, but even for him to say 'I don't know,' there must be 'I' that doesn't know. Yes? 'I don't know.' You didn't say 'rather doesn't know,' you said 'I don't know.' You're using the 'rather doesn't know,' 'I don't.' So there's a sense that I exist even if I don't know as what do I exist. And it's very, very basically, very simple. There is nobody who does not know this. There is nobody who does not know this. And this knowingness itself that is aware even of existence is that which is the truth of what we are.
Read more (14 more paragraphs) ↓Show less ↑
It's very simple. I know that I exist. I am aware of my being. Then what happens? We clarify what the discovery was. We don't need to ask, but just maybe we need to. It's good to look at this question. Suppose we need to, then we find that this 'I' that knows even of existence, it looks like nothing. It looks like no-thing. Just the knowingness itself. You know that you are. And the minute we say 'I am,' it shows very clearly that I am. I find it very funny when sometimes someone will say, 'Oh, but you're creating a dichotomy between awareness and being, or awareness and consciousness.' But 'I am.' 'I' itself is 'am.' So where is the dichotomy? It's not somebody else who's 'am.' The one Self that is having it is the same 'I' that is having it. It is nobody else. There is no dichotomy. Just like saying that one day I took the... let's take a nicer example.
So just because I am eating an ice cream, does that mean there are two of me now because there is a functioning of eating or fight with cream happening? So this 'I' is the Absolute, the pristine one is functioning as being, but still the same 'I'. Which 'I am' making it all very simple, actually. This 'I' is all I have ever known. I have not known anyone else except this 'I'. We say, 'I went to sleep, I woke up, I had a dream.' Even a child talks like this. Before the truth, we have always known the truth of what we are. We've always known in reality. And the truth is here. And yes, in this realm, in this realm you will find that every expression in its complete contrast is available.
So just like the voice—or you, the voice of intuition, want to call it—is pointing us to that which is always true, there in the same way the voice which is the opposite of that voice is also... will be saying, 'No, no, all of this don't believe because you are a person. Everyone considers you to be a person.' These voices are also available. And for most of us and for most of our lives, we've given a lot of authority, meaning, and belief to this voice which has never ever got us this lasting sense of peace, lasting sense of joy, never got us lasting happiness. And I know this because otherwise you would not be here. I would not be here. Save it. Then why still we have allegiance to this one? So I say, 'Take this road, take the right, and then take the left.' The voice will come and say, 'Go in the other direction, take the left and take the right.' And you say, 'I want to have both the directions and land at the same place.' Then we say, 'Oh, but the mind is also consciousness.' What are we saying? Because the mind is nothing but this messaging, nothing but this messaging, see? So although it is made up, of course, of consciousness, this is not speaking the truth.
And the best part is that we don't actually need to get anywhere at all. There is nowhere to go, nothing to get. You are here. You only suffer because we believe our thoughts. You only suffer because we believe our thoughts. And if I ask you, 'Can you stop being now?' You cannot. And you see that being is here. And then I ask you to check, 'Are you aware now?' You are the same one that is aware even of being. You, this awareness, look like that? It looks like nothing. Makes no sense to the mind. The mind says, 'No-thing.' For it to look like anything in the first place, you see, that makes no sense to the mind. Well, for many of us now, it wants to paint some fancy picture. You want to make a word visual out of this awareness. It's just completely unfathomable.
But I'm saying that for the first time ever—because traditionally I have not been very attracted to Krishnamurti teachings—but for the first time I posted a quote by him which is just so beautiful. We get so stuck in the description of this and that and we start to believe that the directions are that to which they are pointing. Maybe we start enjoying hearing the directions so much. Everyone says, 'Okay, but what if I took this? And what if I took this? Where does this go? Does it take me out of Bangalore? Does it take me to Hosur? Does it take me to Chennai instead?' Can't we just look for ourselves? Even that can work too. Do you want to check out all the way? Yeah, okay. Everyone check what's critical. So long time steps on wall, need to give them direction. There is no door, it's just a noise, stairs.
You, if you know of a little that which knows of your existence, what can we say about that one? Let's get straight to the heart of the matter. That which knows of your existence, what can we say about that one? Is it somebody apart from you? Are the two of you who know that you exist? You need somebody else to describe for you this 'I' that knows that you exist? Can any description do it justice? Can he turn? Just before Satsang started, we were just saying that one in the Sangha was saying that maybe I'm just tired of hearing these terms of freedom, consciousness, awareness. Okay, we can lose them. We don't need... actually, the truth you cannot lose. So actually, I'm not showing you freedom. Nobody can show you freedom. I am showing you that there never was any bondage except as an idea, except as that idea. Believe him.
I had an idea once when I was younger that one day I will be a songwriter for one big like rock band or something. It's not true. This is an idea I believed in and wanted to see through. So if any of you still have the idea that 'I am the seeker, I'm a person, I am separate, I exist as something,' then just like this idea of being a songwriter, this will also be withdrawn. But if you keep believing more and more ideas about it, then how will it be? Don't keep feeding ourselves these ideas of personhood. 'I must drop my personhood.' Do we need an idea to drop? It's just like this: if I kept saying since then, 20, 30 years ago, 'No, every day I must not be buying the idea of being a songwriter, I must not buy the idea of the songwriter, I must not buy the idea of songwriter,' it keeps the songwriter idea alive. If I say, 'I must not be a person, I must not be a person, I must not be a person,' it keeps the sense of personhood alive.
So let's use these as chemotherapy: remove this sense of personhood, not as vitamins that we are taking every day. 'I am not a person, I am not a person, I find no person when I look.' Isn't that great? Then I feel you got so jaded with what you're hearing, the fire is gone through me. 'Yeah, I'm not a person, I know.' Why not? Okay, I just... yeah, I'm not a person. Then what am I? Come on, what else we need? See that I'm starting to realize the value depth in India for many centuries, actually. This knowledge here and the Satguru had this sense that, 'Okay, now you are ready to hear you're not a person.' And when it was told, it used to hit home. Now, because every day, Monday to Friday, hearing 'I'm not a person' gives you like, 'Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not a person, what else you got?'
Let's keep refreshing. But seriously, if I am not a person, what am I? What am I? What's going on here? Yes, because this whole world seems to be designed for people. Everyone is asking my name and my form and what I have won. I have no name and no form and I don't want anything. Wow! Come on, you must see the great wonder in this. Everyone and everything says, 'What's your name? What do you want? Where do you live? Who are your parents? What do you want to do? What do you do for money? What about your relationship status?' I have none of those in reality. Yeah, yeah, I have to work hard and make it off since I have none of those because I am not a person. And what am I? Just this much. Having no idea of what I am is the end of suffering, actually. You see? But what happened with us? 'Oh, I want to just make sure I'm not the person. I just want to not be the person. I want to not be the person.' That itself keeps the person alive.
And tomorrow?
Yes, what is seen is there. What does it mean when we say 'I am not a person'? We see that there is no... because all suffering is personal. Can we really say there is impersonal suffering? If in the looking now you will find that there is no person, or you'll claim the money from me. Yeah, don't go empty-handed today. Either you claim some money from me or you see that there is no person. You claiming money, who is... who... what is Prabha?
How would you define what a person is and what do you mean by personal?
Okay, very good. So 'I am' is not personal. I just am. Being is just being. Now, the instant we attach something to the 'I am,' it relies on the belief of my separate existence as a person. 'I am a man, I am a husband, I am spiritual, I am good.' You see? Because no longer are we referring to 'I am' as existence. That which exists is 'I am.' We are now saying... they're not saying existence is good. When you say 'I am good,' you're not thinking God is good or existence is good. When I say 'I am a husband,' I'm not saying our existence is a husband. So that's why the question then is: who is the husband? So anything that we attach using the power of our belief to this sense of existence itself, which is impersonal, is the play of being a person.
The picking up of more ideas about 'I am,' the picking up of more lies about the 'I am,' is falling deeper and deeper into the personal conditioning. And the dropping of ideas about 'I am' is the dissolution of conditioning. Is there a person being? The picking up of ideas about 'I am' is going deeper into personal conditioning, and the dissolution of ideas about 'I am' is the dissolution of conditioning. So this Being, is it being personally? Is there anything personal about it? I mean, is it Prabha's being? Is it Ananta's being or Prabha's being? Is there a sense of individuality about it? Does a child, before he gets to use the language, have the sense that this Being that is here belongs to this name and form, or it is just experienced as this sense of existence? No matter what your name could be, it doesn't matter what form there is, doesn't matter whether this body is 40 years old or 10 years old or 20 years old—the sense of existence has been the same. It's not aging. Just Being. You.
The Thread Continues
These satsangs touch the same silence.
On a similar theme
But... God is Here. - 9th March 2026
9 March 2026
Ananta teaches that God dwells within the heart, hidden only by the 'blanket of me.' He guides seekers to rest in the...
On a similar theme
The Gateway to the Heart Temple - 2nd March 2026
2 March 2026
Ananta teaches that while God cannot be found in worldly objects, the soul is designed to reveal the Divine through the...
The following day
This Idea of 'Me' Is Just a Myth - 27 May 2016
27 May 2016
Ananta guides seekers to dismantle the myth of the personal identity, likening the ego to a non-existent 'pink...