The Root of All Confusion is Who I Am - 1st November 2017

If you're not confused, you cannot suffer. And what is this confusion? We'll find that at the root of all confusion is confusion about who I am. As you are becoming clearer about who you are, you'll find it more and more difficult to be confused and therefore to suffer. What makes this up? Let's take an example. If I have a grievance against you, I am suffering. You might not even know it, but my grievance makes me suffer. So what's a grievance? The idea that somebody did something to me that they should not have done. Why do you come to Satsang and not eat properly? So the idea, or a way of behaving, which says that you are an individual doer and I am an individual experiencer of your doing can cause this idea of 'now I'm suffering from that.' But once it is seen that all is a movement of Consciousness, all a movement in the ocean of Consciousness, all is one in one Being, then who is to hold this grievance against whom? No two. If there is only one, only God is, then who is doing what to whom?

So grievances, resentment... there are other things that I can suffer from. Pride: 'I'm speaking really well today, really good.' The idea that I am an individual entity who is taking a particular action, which is a lie because these words are just emerging in the same ocean of Consciousness. These words emerge. When I make a limited notion about myself that I am an entity who is doing this very well, or is doing this, saying this well, then pride can come, specialness can come. So all that we call suffering is basically a collection of all of these things. Resentment, grievances, my specialness... all of these things collectively become suffering. And at the root of all of this is a mistaken identity, a mistaken idea that I am something. Everything, and ultimately you see that you are no-thing. All that is everything grows or emerges within you, but you are that no-thing for which all things are. And as you are seeing this more and more every day, then what can you hold on to? Which variety of suffering can you have?

Let's take the suffering of the seeker. Are we saying, 'Yes, I haven't yet caught it. I want it. This one who came yesterday, just he came and he caught it, but I have been coming to Satsang for four years, ten years, twenty years.' So what is the root of the 'I' in that? You're still considering yourself to be an individual body-mind. Okay, number one: the body-mind is just an appearance. It is behaving in the same ocean of Consciousness. So there is nothing that that can get. A thought will not get it. A set of sensations that we call the body will not get it. That which you have always been is coming to its own in the play, coming to its own recognition of itself.

If you consider yourself to be an object within time, then also you will have a lot of this confusion. 'I saw that yesterday. I saw yesterday that I have awareness; today I lost it.' This is not true. Right now, what you're seeing is the truth. What you're interpreting is the false because it is a limited idea about yourself. So I trust your seeing, not what you are saying, because your saying is often colored, mostly colored, by the limited mind. The mind which is telling you the story of your limitation. That's why in Satsang, more and more, I'm saying stay with your insight rather than your inference.

It's like a little child. You are able to just even report if you are doing the inquiry together. If you are reporting just what you are seeing and seeing the world... 'Father, I am seeing or experiencing this body.' Why? Who sees all of this? Okay, I am. I am seeing. Who is aware of this 'I am'? If you don't use any prior knowledge, the truth is apparent. It is I who is aware, but this I is not an object. It's not in time and space. So let all knowledge come and go. You don't rely on it. You are seeing this about yourself right now. You don't need to wait for an awakening experience. See, this is your moment of awakening without it having to be an experience of something. Whatever the experience might be, you are that. You are this. You don't have to take a step, don't have to move an inch. All appearances can happen, but you only need to remain that. All the clues are there, all the pointing are there. In this moment, you are seeing your truth. You buy the story from the mind, but you are still seeing the truth. All that is, is experienced within you if you don't buy the false story of your boundary.