The Losing of Thoughts is Not the Losing the Self - 20 April 2016

I don't... you tell me how and where you're getting stuck. Just allow all thoughts to come and go. Don't serve them tea. And then allow your attention also to move about.

Actually, when I'm trying to do it with you, I don't get any thoughts. Actually, I have like kind of thoughtless completely. Even if like I am trying to get some thoughts, it looks like I'm trying.

This is also very natural. When we allow, in fact welcome our thoughts and invite our thoughts, then it seems like thought activity reduces. When we say, 'Okay, Mr. Mind, please bring it on. What do you have?' then you find that it runs out of all that strong energy. Yes?

So it's kind of like... it's like when I'm like more alert, like I'm trying something, it's kind of like... if I just... I'm tired that I don't see any thoughts. It's kind of like when I'm trying to let's see, I'm kind of like aware, then it will come. But now it's not happening that way for now.

Yes. The good news is that it's always about the right now. It is not about what happened in the past or what is going to happen in the future. Freedom is always now. You will not be free in the past nor in the future, but in the now you are always free. That's what I've been saying recently, that the now is my best friend, you see? But what happens is that what you recognize about yourself right now, you also see that this cannot change. So it's not some sort of trick where we get you into Satsang and in Satsang we do some magic and every thought activity, everything reduces, so it feels like you are free, and then the minute you leave Satsang then everything is gone. It can feel like that because the immediate support is going. But actually, what you recognize about yourself now, you also recognize that this is true irrespective of what layers of thoughts come and what layers of emotions come. At the core, at the center, this is always true, what you are finding out about yourself. Yes? So let's use the now to come to the recognition of who you are, and then you will find that belief is not going to the thoughts as much as it was earlier. Belief means that there is a possibility that what the thoughts could be saying is true. If there was no possibility at all, then you would not believe. If I were to say you are levitating five feet above the ground right now, you would not believe it because you know there is no possibility of that. The same way, as you see that you are formless, you are the formless one, then all this thought which is talking to you as if you were a person will start to seem more alien to you. At best, you will laugh at them.

So Father, like what I see... like earlier, I used to identify with each and every or whatever is going in my head, like sad, happiness, whatever. But now it's kind of like if I see some images or if I see some voices of some other stuff, I can recognize, like I can easily discard them. But when there is a voice of like my voice, pretending to be... it's like very subtle. It's kind of like always with me. It says like as if like my guide. It's like me myself talking with myself, like self-talking. So I easily get on... I mean, I easily get too much involved with that part, which is like my guide.

Yes. The voice of the mind has pretended to be our teacher for a very long time. Humanity is relying on this voice as the guide for guidance as to how to run our life. But this is not the true voice. This is not the intuitive voice. The voice of the mind is always selfish: 'For me, how do I get freedom? How do I become a better person? How do I do the practice?' You see? Who is the 'I' being referred to as you? Where is the 'I' that needs freedom? Where is the 'I' that needs to not identify also?

Yes, because I was watching a Satsang about that 'I' and I was contemplating on myself and I found... like Father, 'I' cannot be looked at. Like I found myself like everything is just happening by itself, like my breathing, like my heartbeat, like my person in total. I didn't find that one because it's kind of like building blocks together and making a person. It's actually nothing. There is no kind of like a different person doing everything. But it's like I felt like as if I am joined parts and parts together and there is no such thing as myself as a thing. I could not find myself. I felt it felt like I'm headless and I'm just walking. Something like... even if I was driving, I was walking and I was feeling like as if I'm floating somewhere. As if that part... like the body, I couldn't care anymore, identify myself with a body anymore. But something inside handles like the 'I' voice, that's like pretending to be my voice: 'Oh, you should not... oh, how come you let go of this thing? You should not do...' I easily get so much involved. If I say like if I discard this one, then where is my self? I mean, I am lost completely. Where is it? I'm not my body. Even this is that... if I lose my mind, then I will lose myself. This is also the thought from the mind itself. Because you see, you yourself say no thought is coming but you are still here. So you haven't lost yourself. Just the losing of thoughts is not the losing of the Self. It is the mind which tries to create this fear in you, you see? So what has happened is that we are used to relying on this one feature inside our head. Seemingly, when we come to Satsang, for many of us it seems like, 'No, the voice in my head is not the true teacher. It is the voice which I am hearing now, the intuitive presence, the voice of my own heart. This must be my true teacher.' And for a while, it seems like there is a tussle between the two teachers.