Realizing the Truth Doesn’t Mean All Tendencies Drop Immediately - 6 April 2016

Yeah, that's why it's very important. It's a little subtle, so all of you must pay attention to what I am saying. The recognition of what I really am always happens in an instant. Every time we check, you ask the question 'Am I aware now?' This recognition of my truest nature is available to us. But it doesn't always happen with this instantaneous recognition that all my conditioning gets dropped away. It happens very rarely like that, that in one recognition all conditioning is dropped away. What usually happens is every time there is this recognition, some part of the misbelief in myself as a person is chopped off. A big chunk of this is chopped away, then there can be some like laughing and crying happening, what we usually call an awakening experience, you see. It's nothing but a big chunk of the conditioning being bitten off. But for some it flows like this, big chunks are going, and for some it is dissolving soberly. And either are okay. Either are okay.

So although the recognition of the truth is instantaneous, we have the idea that once the truth is seen, all of our prior conditioning should be dropped away. Actually, all will never be dropped away, not even for the sages, not even for the Avatars. All is never dropped away. But you will find that most of it is going as we continue to come to Satsang. And that is why I say that you are free right now in reality, but you must keep coming to Satsang. When you get confused by this, you see, the point is that the first part is the recognition of the reality of what you are, and the second part is seemingly time-bound in this play: the dropping of the conditioning. So the mind tries to correlate the two things: 'Okay, if I see the truth, then why am I still this conditioned? Why is there suffering? Why are my attachments still not going?' Thinking like this itself is adding on fresh conditioning. So this recognition is very useful to drop conditioning, but with no expectation that in one short finger-snap everything should go away.

So how did it go for you? It was not a finger-snap?

Although when I sat in front of Guruji there was a chunk that he just took away, a big chunk of the conditioning, but then also over a period of time. And I must be honest and with integrity tell you that it is a continuous ongoing process which continues to this day. Nobody can tell you that 'I am one hundred percent free from conditioning.' Even Ram cried when Sita was taken away. Even Jesus said on the cross, 'Oh Father, have you forsaken me?' You see, momentarily the play of conditioning will always happen.

I understand. But the devotion which comes out, is this a pure emotion, not a conditioned emotion which comes out? So you'll be able to enjoy all results, you know, those nine Rasas and everything. You'll be able to... this Maya becomes a Leela actually. But if you see, Adi Shankaracharya has written... what you are... he says totally different. When he says he is nothing actually, while if you see the Avadhuta Gita, he talks positive: 'I am this, I am that.' He does not say 'Neti, Neti, Neti.' So different ones have different expressions actually. It is the same stuff. But where is the time? I mean the body can fall next moment. Where is the time to actually, you know, go in a very slow process? Where is the time?

The play of conditioning is also a play that Consciousness is playing. There is no need to worry about time because time and space are also in service to Consciousness. You know, in one seemingly one-minute dream you can dream up an entire lifetime. So as much as space is a projection, time is also a projection. So God is not worried about time.

Yeah, but as we believe that there is a reincarnation, I don't want to be reborn. That is what they say: Mukti. Every Indian knows Mukti and they say, I mean, it's basically no rebirth. Yeah, some say it's a liberation from the conditioning. So as of now I'm not liberated from conditioning. I don't know what is birth and what is rebirth. Then where is Mukti for me? It is just a recognition. Where is Mukti for me? Why is there still somebody actually, you know, who wants Mukti?

Yes, yes. And even the recognition does not belong to this one who is saying 'Where is the Mukti for me?' That is not bothered at all. That is not bothered at all. It doesn't know 'me' at all. So if that is the recognition, that that is my true nature, and this is unconcerned with Moksha and that which arises in service to this Consciousness... not a blade of grass moves without the will of God. That most problem is also Mukti only belongs to Consciousness... sorry, I did not catch that.

Yes, yes, I am saying that you say that the truth of what I am is unconcerned with this sort of liberation, Nirvana. True. And this Consciousness which is arising in service to this reality of what you are—not a blade of grass moves without the will of this Consciousness. Rebirths and non-rebirths, the cycle of birth and death, all of this is all a play of Consciousness. And it will not happen without the will of this Consciousness. And you are coming to the realization that 'I am that I am,' and actually 'I am that which is beyond even this I am.' You yourself are saying it. Then this one that is saying 'I want Mukti now, I want...' like that, that one's having the tantrum now. It is neither of these. It is neither of these. So let's not give too much attention to this one. Let's not give too much belief to this one.

Okay. Because I know, you know, Lakshmana Swami... I was reading your bio that he had an adopted daughter. He still has an adopted daughter. Yes. And the way in fact, you know, she got it was that she was seeing Shiva actually, you know, in the throne inviting her and all stuff. I think probably others may not like it because they don't know the story. And then finally when she actually, you know, surrendered to the Guru's feet, then Lakshmana Swami said that either she would have been born as a goddess if she had gone on to that with Shiva, or this 'I', this 'I' would have got the rebirth. So this rebirth is actually of the 'I'. I'm not debating it because it is coming from a realized master. So what needs to be reborn is basically the 'I' which goes from the one birth to the second birth. Now this is a small 'I', I suppose. That is a condition, right? Is that so?

Okay. The true 'I' is the unborn. It is neither one nor many. The 'I am' is coming and going, and every coming and going actually you can call rebirth. You can call every day also rebirth. How you know that you were in this body-mind being as this body-mind anytime prior to this? Even in the dream we have a memory of yesterday and 'I know these people.' You see, let's not worry too much about these concepts. Rebirth is just the presence of the I am-ness and the absence of I am-ness and the presence of the I am-ness again. So we die and we are born again every time this 'I am' is dissolving or it's coming back. So this appearance and disappearance of I am-ness must be birth and death actually. But the real 'I' is unborn.