Nothing Can Compel You to Be Egoic

Try to see it now. Produce one thought which is inherently compelling.

Yeah, for instance, I don't know, at night I cannot sleep and I think I'll just watch some YouTube videos.

No, I'm saying right now. Not right now. Wait for a thought to come which is inherently compelling and you have no choice but to believe it.

Okay. The thought is... right now it's super easy, it's pretty clear and present. But when I'll be away, it's going to be difficult to be again. So this is tempting, or it comes in... there's no choice in the matter. There is a possibility to cut and come back here, but no, I just see that I predict my own enlightenment and non-enlightenment, you know?

Yeah, but how do you do it? With the thought, isn't it? So you have to get it at the root. Well, let's return to that conversation we were having earlier. The root of the matter is that to become free, we have to do the work thought by thought, moment by moment. We cannot fix it at a layer of abstraction where we can say, 'Oh, this is my condition; my problem is that I just...' No, no, that is not your problem. It's a thought, you see? The problem is the next thought. So unless you zero in on that and you're completely clear—all of you—that nothing else is a problem in your life except your seeming compulsion, but actually temptation, to believe the content of your next thought. That's all it is, you see?

The mind will love to obfuscate this and make it about something else. It's about this, it's about the world being so unfair, it's about God having created this world and then left us to our own devices, and some nonsense theory it can make like that. And this is okay—solve that, then you'll be free, you see? The thief has set you on a wild goose chase and you'll be chasing clouds forever. You'll never catch the thief like that. The thief is the next thought auditioning for your attention and belief. You don't see that it is not proposing my reality; it is only building a narrative for the non-existent ego. And everything that is needed in life is there inherently in presence itself. Till then, you will not recognize that it is God's presence yet. We'll see it's within you, then the seeking will continue like that.

Further, the temptation part, right? Compulsion is not there, but I've experienced that for a longer time. If I'm in the presence for a long time, then the temptation comes that you must give out. Yes, which can include very much of these short-term pleasures, which would be anything. But then that's also real. Temptations are there. So how would I...?

So what is the problem? Can we change the problem from what I'm saying to something else? Then we abstract it to a level that we can never really resolve it. You see, it's about this one, it's about this one, it's about this one of all my life. It's about my parents, my partner, my children. The thief is sitting right there, right there.

For the one, I think it's more about everything, but I still would want to forget that and get lost in, let's say, watching cricket or watching a movie or go and play and get lost and get away from the continuous knowing. That temptation, Father, again, what can...?

But you see that it's a temptation and not a compulsion? Yes, I can procrastinate it for some time, but that comes back. So if you put on the movie, what happens?

So I am lost into that. I forget... attention and belief, everything goes. I start believing that, right? So attention goes, yes. You can perceive the world because everything... now what happened with attention?

But the minute you start saying, 'Ah, this should not happen,' you believe it. You see, when you watch cricket, do you suffer? No? Okay, that's very good. Most of my friends, when they watch cricket, they suffer long. 'Oh, he should not get out, he should always do this, he always does this.' He thinks that they will hear him all the way to Manchester; he yells at them. Can you watch without that? And that can happen beautifully. It will come to that place. That's why it's okay. We'll come to that playfully in a moment.

What has to happen in front of you right now for you to suffer? Inherently, if something happens and you suffer, you do not accept what is. Unacceptance is un-Satsang. If I don't accept what is happening, I will suffer. No, I mean, what tells you what is happening? So how do you know what is happening? My mind is telling me. Yeah, those thoughts and minds. Are you talking about accepting those thoughts? No, I am saying that my thoughts will be saying that what is happening is not correct for me. Yeah, but how do you know what really happened? What's happening now? This is happening.

So in a constant determination of what is, we lose what is. You realize that simple thing? Because we are constantly determining what is happening, we lose touch with what is happening. We don't live because we just interpret. When I started intermittent fasting, somebody told me it's very good because the body can either digest or heal; it can't do both. So if your stomach is empty and you don't have to digest anything, then your body can heal. In our life, we can either meet what is or interpret what is. We cannot do both. Defining that moment as 'my temptation' itself is already in that mode.

So these provisional thorns are just used so that the other deeply embedded thorn can be taken out. If you are in the belief that you are just a victim and hostage to your thoughts—you have no say in the matter—these masters just keep talking, saying 'let go, let go, let go,' but you feel compelled. So to remove that thorn that it's a compulsion, then we may use a provisional thorn called temptation. When you get too attached to that one: nothing can compel you to be egoic. And what is ego? To take yourself to be something. You want to mind, however, let go of the hot seat.

Still blocks. So that interpretation of what is, is different from really seeing what is? Yes. The thing... not like you don't mean height, right? No. So in that rule of the mind, is that interpretation of what is actually right? Yes, that person comes in together with the mind, it gets into the stories, and the mind comes up with an interpretation of what is.

Yeah, what can we do with that interpretation? We can give it our attention and/or we can give it our belief. So best not to do either. But since the first one is very tricky, and people spend maybe lifetimes trying to perfect some yogic sadhana to try and withdraw their attention from the thought, it's much simpler to not put the other lock—your belief. So that is nothing good in it. No. Okay. So that is to just observe it, to just allow it to come and go. Observing is also tricky because sometimes you just feel like... yeah, yeah, yeah. So open and empty. That's why you said 'yeah, yeah.' If you just all of you just hear that, then I don't need to say much.

How do I convey to you the distinction? What you give up for... what you give up for what? Some instant of self-importance? For that, you give up God's life. For an instant of having things your way, we give up God's way. To serve the selfish notion of this being, we give up our life of servitude to God.

Father, what about habit? It's a matter of habit that this comes like that. Is it the same thing?

It's a matter of habit in the sense that you may, because you've done it for so long, you may just be like: the cigarette comes in my fingers, it lights itself, and I start smoking. Maybe it just happens. Then when you come to the de-addiction center, they tell you it doesn't pick itself up. When you start looking slowly, 'Ah, yes, I pick it up, but I don't like it; it just lights itself.' You know, this 'automatic' is... it's automatic. You don't know how many times I've heard the word 'automatically.' So which is automatic? Then you say, 'Okay, look really slowly.' Let it light itself. Automatically lighting itself is belief. So your attention may go to it, but without belief, it's nothing. It doesn't happen automatically. It may be a habit, and that's why something happened.

Thrice a week, if it is not a habit, then it's even rationally what I'm saying, you see? So even your rationality would agree and say, 'That's it, I have to stop.' It doesn't stop; it goes on slowly, slowly, slowly. Mostly very few just come to Satsang here at once, and even if it does happen, the next week they're like, 'I will become...' Next weekend, ah, simple, I can never lose this. And the minute they buy the idea, and all the spiritual notions are very attractive—non-doership, 'I am not the doer,' ah yes, this is so free, I can just do whatever I want, I am not the doer—you will get into this kind of thing. 'Okay, everything is great, I don't have to worry at all, just whatever is fine.' And life slaps you and we forget. 'Satsang doesn't work for me, I'm giving up on spirituality, I need to lead my life and get it under control, then I'll come back to God.' All this kind of ups and downs happen. That is the habit.

But when you come to the de-addiction center, then you're told that actually you can stop. It may be wobbly, you will get withdrawal symptoms mostly, you see, but you can stop. Otherwise, Jnana Yoga would not be a path at all if it was so compelling. You see that it's almost like a physical obstruction? Then just by meeting like this and talking would not work. You'll have to do some yoga, switch over something, some energetic system will have to change, somewhere something would have to change physically. If it is like a true compulsion in the world, here it is: sit and talk, ah, it comes and it goes.

When you talk about like being reminded constantly, constantly... and this is why there is that Satsang thrice a week. I feel it, just feel to really dive in and almost to be in a rehabilitation center and being like knocked out, as I've been knocked out to believe that...

Yes, but don't change the problem from that to even this. What is the root of the problem this time? Belief in the thought. Which one? The next thought. But even the present thoughts. As you start looking like that, what all it will reveal to you. It's like creating stories in the future, obstacles to avoid, and it's just one movie being played. Just be empty. Remain empty. When you're not angry next moment, come back to empty. Don't post-mortem. Don't say, 'Oh, this happened, this is my problem, this always happened to me.' All this stuff is not helpful.

What is the best gift you can give to yourself? Best medicine for every condition that you may have? God's light in this moment. Not your diagnosis and your reporting about what's wrong with you or right with you and yourself. You don't even have to empty yourself; you are empty. Don't fill yourself up with garbage. It's all garbage. Meaningful or... 'then this happens and that happens, then when I do like that, then I realize...' Throw it. Throw it. Who are you taking yourself to be?