No Separation Ever Happened - 19th July 2016

Would now ask you this question: Are you aware now? You say yes. And you say awareness is here undeniably, isn't it? So this awareness—who is aware that awareness is here? I am. You are. As what are you? As a phenomenal object aware of the existence of awareness? No. And yet you are aware. I am aware. I, which is aware, is awareness itself. Therefore, you are not a thing. You are not a phenomenon, although all phenomena are also a part of you; they arise within you. Let's keep that aside for some time. This 'I' that is aware, what are its qualities?

I can't even call it 'I' in a sense here, because the 'I' comes off... I get you cannot even deny that it is you. It is me, because it is not secondhand that you are aware. You're not referring to Gopala or to other and say, 'Am I aware?' So there's only this, there's only me here too.

Yes. The problem is that the 'I' has been misused for so long that when we are coming to the real use of it, it seems a bit strange.

So what is confusing, Father, is in deep sleep there is no 'I'. There's no... this is very different from...

Yes, but who is there to say that there is no 'I'? Isn't this your own direct experience that there was no 'I' in deep sleep? So there is whose experience? Me. It's it. So you were there. But when you say 'no I', that means no quality. No 'I am'—the sense that 'I exist' also was not present. Forget about the sense that 'I am a person, I'm a body, I have these family members, I have these likes and dislikes'—all of that is not there. Like now, we weren't used to using 'I' in this way, which is the 'I' that follows 'I am this' or 'I am that'. When only this 'I' remains, we say, 'But that is not an I at all.' You know, is it because it's not... it's nothing.

It's nothing, right.

This is the 'I' that I am introducing you to. Recognize your own nothingness. Nothingness... I'm a bit wary of using the word 'nothing' now, you see, because the mind very quickly takes it on as a negative nothing. So recognize your own emptiness, your own nothingness. So when the ones that I remove the 'I' and the remains 'I', what it means is this 'I' that remains is unlabeled.

Label, yeah. It's... we're so used to saying 'I woke up' and I believe it every morning that I'm waking out here and I'm going to sleep, whereas it's only the beingness. Or it's only the... all you're doing is seeing the appearance here.

Yeah. Okay. So much conditioning, though. Let's take a simple example. Is there a piece of paper in front of us? Right. Once in a day it changes color, right? So it goes from white to black and then back to white. You see, now that this change of state happened, to report that it happened, there must have been a witness of it. Otherwise, it is impossible to report, right? So if there was no witness which was present throughout the changing of state, then we could not say after there was sleep and there was waking, 'I woke up at 7:30 AM.' You cannot say unless there was a constant witnessing of the change of state. But it is so not there that gives you now habit of thing. If you don't give it any... it's the mind is so conditioned to... there is so much belief in that: 'Okay, I wake up, I go to work, I do this, and then I go to bed.' And then you've used the 'I' long as refuted bit more bored as if it is figment of our job problem, Father.

Suddenly when... suddenly went from inquiring, deep inquiry state, to surrender. Remember once I do either the inquiry... and somebody said, 'Why can't I do both?' It's a good question on the face of it, but when you look at it really, what happens is that once you inquire, if you really inquire, there is nobody left to surrender. And once you really surrender, there is nobody left to inquire. That's why Bhagavan said: Do either the inquiry or the surrender.

Still your problem. Only this is my problem.

Then you cannot keep a problem for yourself. It is every... there is no this and other this is... it is all no the rate of... so is your entire existence now my problem?

I would love to say that. Are you ready? Yes, my entire existence... but I'm still... there is still some identities that are being... actually, I would love to be so. Fifty percent surrender will not work. So either you say that 'my entire existence is your problem,' if you don't say that, then we must do the inquiry. Surrender cannot be just the escape from the inquiry.

Well, I love the inquiry, but at times you can't inquire anymore, you know? Just want to like... okay. And also you see the inquiry happening in a sense here. But the intensity of the inquiry is you start believing the inquiry and also there's a seeker, Father, here.

So firstly, we can inquire into: What is that that is no longer... that is not yet my problem? I think this 'I', this attachment to this 'I'... another the site went to the 'I am'.

Yes, but 'I am' that 'I am'. Okay, but there is this attachment to as... yes, please, I need a son.

I'm not presenting Ananta, you see. Ananta is just one instrument. This one, the voice which is speaking, is representing this 'I am' itself, right? You're not surrendering to this bucket of flesh and blood which is sitting on this chair, right? You see, you're surrendering to your own holy presence, which is that 'I am'. Now you say the addiction is to what?

Sorry, I achieve... it was wrongly put. Addiction is to the ego, the 'I', the 'me', you know? There is an addiction to that which I have called 'me' for so long, you know, in a sense, right? So whether it is anything... right? So I think if you ask me, 'Is there complete surrender?' No, that is...

Yeah. So that which causes you suffering is the identity which still remains. And if we've gone through this often, that usually we are in this belief that we have very complicated lives, but if you deconstruct our lives, it's basically about four or five things. Mainly these four things: One, relationships, special relationships. Two, security, money, work. Three, the health or lack thereof of the body. And four, this sense of finding some meaning of freedom itself in this life. Which one is it?

You see, it doesn't have to be only one, honestly. I see a bit of all the other one. I mean, there is relationship identities, there is money...

Okay, one by one as we go through these. Who here, when you check, when you do an internal audit, who can have a relationship? Can the body have a relationship? No. Is the body interested in what your relationships are doing right now? Nope. So who is that one that has an attachment? Just a belief. Just the identity is the focus. But is the belief an entity? No. There is no entity in that sense here. So whose relationships are there? So in this way, we use the inquiry to come to the recognition that there is no separate entity. No separation ever happened. And we come to the recognition of the Self as this awareness itself. You.