राम
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It Seems so Real, but It's Not - 14th Nov 2014

November 14, 20141:15:06114 views

Saar (Essence)

Ananta guides seekers to recognize that awareness is a non-doer, merely witnessing the spontaneous birth of consciousness. He emphasizes that doership is a mental construct and true freedom lies in dropping all personal stories.

Awareness is not doing; at best, we can say awareness is being aware.
You are already home. No one can leave awareness; no one can stop being aware.
Who are you without your stories? What remains when the story is gone?

intimate

doershipawarenessconsciousnessegonon-dualityself-inquirymoojidetachment

Transcript

This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.

Ananta

Namaste everyone. A very warm welcome to satsang today. Thank you very much for joining in. You can ask your questions in the hangout or you can post them in the question and answers application you should see. So happy to see all of you again. Namaste.

Ananta

Doership is still quite confusing for many of us, isn't it? This whole question of doership: what should I do or not do? And the fact is, if you were to look and ask, what can awareness do? What can awareness do? What is awareness doing? Who will answer that question? What is awareness doing? I'm not asking rhetorically, actually. I'm actually asking: who will answer this? What is awareness doing? Nothing. Awareness is not doing. It is, yes. So at best, if you were to try and say something, we can say that awareness is being aware, isn't it? Awareness is just being aware. Can it not do this? Can it stop being aware? So besides being aware, it does not do anything at all, and it cannot stop being aware.

Ananta

So to put it very simply, you're only the pure seeing. We cannot even call it a doing, actually, but just for the sake of conversation, if you were to say, we can say that all you are doing is seeing. All you can do is see. So any time the question comes about what should I do or not do, it is coming from a personal place. It is not coming from the place of awareness, isn't it? So the question always is: what am I referring to myself as? Am I still referring to myself as a person, or have I seen that I am only this awareness? See, very good. Shakti wanted to expose something, so Shakti can come on. Did she disconnect? I think by mistake she pressed the wrong button. Yes, I think she pressed the wrong button. I'm sure she'll be back in a minute.

Ananta

Yes, very good. Something is, yes, not awareness, yes. So what happens is that for some unexplained reason, there's a birth of beingness in awareness. See, this Consciousness is born inside pure awareness. See, so conversationally we can say that awareness gives birth to Consciousness. See, but this is not a doing. It is not decided, 'Okay, let me now give birth to Consciousness.' You do not decide, 'Let me give birth to Consciousness,' see, because you are awareness. So this concept of decision making and deciding is only for the mind, actually. Everything is just. The mind comes up with this concept of deciding or choosing or doing. So all of these terms don't apply to awareness because just spontaneously there's a birth of beingness from within awareness itself, and in the light of this beingness, then the world is being projected.

Ananta

So nobody is actually doing anything, but if you want to say that there is a doer, then it must be this beingness itself, because without Consciousness, without beingness, there can be no action, there can be no movement, there can be no phenomena, actually. So in the primal phenomena, in the light of this primal phenomena called beingness or Atma, then all this world comes into play. So the entire concept of doership is just made up. You just make believe. There is nobody doing anything at all, and knowing this, the ego cannot survive because one of the ego's constant questions is: what do I do? What should I do? What should I do? It sets a target, and also freedom becomes like a target or a goal, and then it says, 'What do I do to get there?' because it always believes that 'I am not there yet.' But you are already home. You're sitting on your bed at home and saying, 'How do I get home? How do I get home?' You cannot leave home. You are home.

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Ananta

No one can leave awareness. No one can stop being aware. So what is there for you to do or not do? What action will make a difference to what you are? You are already complete. Complete. Nothing can touch what you are. No matter how strong the story is, no matter how real it seems, it is never true because nothing has ever happened to you. You have not moved one inch. Then what is all this about? That's why we say that even the desire for freedom, even the seeker entity, starts off very personally. It's a very personal search, just like the search for money or relationship. It starts off like that. But we say that it is auspicious because this is the only desire, the desire for freedom, which will get rid of the personal identity at the end of it eventually.

Ananta

This person will be confronted. So far the person is saying, 'Go here, do this, go to satsang, listen to this, listen to that,' and it has tried to be an ally on this path for you. It says that you as a person will get freedom also, but you as a person will never get freedom. You will never get freedom. It is not something you can get. You can actually not be bound. So if you can never be bound, what do you need to get? Looks like Shakti was not able to come back in. So as awareness, what can you do or not do? This should become completely clear in this satsang. You are just the pure witnessing of all that is coming and going. Only the pure witnessing of all that is coming and going. And anytime you feel like you must do or not do something, you're pretending to be what you are not. All the rest is just stories. All stories, stories, stories. They might seem like strong stories, but they are still only stories.

Ananta

That's why it is a beautiful thing that my Master says: who are you without your stories? Who are you without even your seeking story? Who are you without your devotee story? Who are you without your relationship story? Who are you without your money story? See, sometimes what happens is because we hear these words often, they seem to just be like we hear them like there's some music or something, come and go. But actually they are very potent. They are very potent, the Master's words. Who are you without your stories? What remains when the story is gone? Can you stay without your story? Can you stay one minute without your stories? Even if you can stay for an instant without your stories, the truth will be completely clear. None of this applies to you. No story is yours.

Ananta

And the mind will come screaming and yelling. It will say, 'But what about me? What about me? What about me? This is so real. You say it's not real, and somewhere there's a trust in what you say also, but this seems so real.' It is not. Screaming in as Jnani says, whose story is there? Anyone who has happened to him? Exactly. See, exactly. Whose story would it be? This false one, this ghost one, this impossible one cannot survive without a story. What can happen to awareness? What can touch witnessing? And what can awareness do? As simple as that. Yes, Shakti is back now. So Shakti can say without pressing the wrong button.

Seeker

Hello, Namaste.

Ananta

Namaste. And what can awareness do? So that was an...

Seeker

Okay, what I wanted to expose, or I don't know if that's the right word, but the contemplation today and yesterday has been that—I'm sorry, it just went away. It's so clear to me that everything comes and goes, and I'm the only one here. And this is a very beautiful discovery over and over again. It's a beautiful discovery. And so when identity comes back, always through 'I', I always know because I'm suffering. So it tells on itself very quickly. I was contemplating this: who's fascinated with the game? And I just suddenly felt very sad because I felt that there's something that loves the game more than it loves Mooji. And I guess I remember all the stories that Mooji tells about when he was touched, there was no way to go back. And I just don't know how I could be loved so deeply and yet in some way it feels like betrayal. Seeing, how can I ever identify again or even suggest that I'm confused or even dare to seek? And I can see that it's a reflex, it just happens, and it's quite innocent. And I don't know that I can't know even what to do from here. There's no way to do anything.

Ananta

So let's start with what you said a little earlier. You said there is something that loves the game more than it loves the Master, more than it loves Mooji. What could that something be?

Seeker

Just Consciousness.

Ananta

Yes, it feels like a dream, like the dream loves to dream. Yes. And who is feeling guilty about this?

Seeker

The dream, the dreamer.

Ananta

The dreamer. So even if we can say, which is very true actually, that it is Consciousness itself which must be enjoying this game, otherwise the game would not continue. It is the child of this Consciousness, the mind, the ego, which is feeling guilty about it. Yes. So ultimately we can say that it is all Consciousness, but if you go to look at it, we will see that it is the same trickster which is interpreting even this and saying it should be or should not be this way.

Ananta

So you say that 'I cannot do anything, I cannot do anything, it's completely clear, then how dare I seek?' Yes, I see. I look at you and I see only love for the Master. That's true. And love is independent of any actions which might be happening or not happening. Yes, this love is unconditional. Yes, if you carry the love for Mooji in your heart, it doesn't matter if you don't understand a single word in satsang. It doesn't matter if you are completely identified as a seeker. Just the love is enough. And for you, there is great understanding also. So you have been blessed with both this beautiful love and the great understanding of the Jnani. That was part of what started this, I think. Was: how can I understand? Because it's not—I don't know how I understand this 'I', this 'I', this 'I'. This one is: how can I? What must I? What should I? This 'I' is not you.

Seeker

Thank you.

Ananta

You're so welcome. Very good. Thank you. Om Namah Shivaya. Om. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do anything. I press—maybe I press this. Okay. I don't want to hang out anything at all. Okay, thank you. I mean that even in hangout... okay, okay, okay. This 'I', this trickster 'I', you see, tries all its tricks. I understand, I understand. But still, 'How can I be a seeker?' You're not just saying it's selling the story again.

Ananta

Don't believe any thought. As simple as that. So for any of you who are still attracted to some doing, feel that there must be something I can do, just take this pointing: don't believe your next thought. And the thought will come and say, 'But, but it's so difficult.' The thought is itself saying it's so difficult. Some just happened automatically. Automatically is happening. It is not automatic. It can seem that way. Yes, I'm not discounting that it can seem that way. It definitely can. But actually it is very difficult to be miserable. It is very, very difficult to be miserable. It's a two-step process. Two steps: give it your attention and give it your belief. Any one of these steps you don't do and it's not possible. Initially it seems tricky to withdraw attention, but belief is easy. Belief is easy. No, attention is easy.

Ananta

Take an example. Sometimes it's difficult for me to grasp. Yes, yes, yes. That's very good. That's very good. Yes, yes. So that thought which you can't even give attention to, it is impossible to believe, isn't it? See, so it's a two-step, one after the other. So attention goes, but if attention itself doesn't go, then no question of belief at all. See, but what I'm saying is that for some troublesome identity, the attention will go, and when we try to say, 'No, no, I won't look,' then it comes, it comes. See, wherever you turn, it comes. Then at least then it is easier to not... it can come, but even by coming like this, it has no power. It needs our cooperation.

Ananta

Still, and you say, 'No, no, I'm not cooperating,' but you are. No identity can survive without your approval. See, you are like a manager sitting at a table and this requisition, this form, is coming to you. So you look at it. If you look at it, you see it doesn't mean you have to approve it. So attention is the looking at it, but the signing it is the belief to say that, 'Yes, this is mine.' So let all papers come to your desk and just from inbox to outbox, inbox to outbox. No signing anything. If you pick up even the best one—'Look at this one, this one is important, you see, this event I must go for'—yes, you are SVP, yes. Don't do it. Don't do it. Because with that one thought, that one thought, you can come to the next satsang completely bereft of all your life energy. And you can come completely... this one thought. And with that one thought, you might never in this lifetime...

Ananta

To say that, 'Yes, this is mine,' so let all people's papers come to your desk and just from inbox, outbox, inbox to outbox, no signing anything. If you pick up even the best one—'Look at this one, this one is important, you see, this event I must go for'—yes, you are SVP, yes, don't do it. Don't do it, because with that one thought, that one thought, you can come to the next satsang completely bereft of all your life energy. And you can come completely... this one thought. And with that one thought, you might never in this lifetime come to a satsang again. Just one thought happens. See, I've seen it happen with Mooji also, where some have got this. They've been to satsang, some of the oldest followers, those who saw him in Brixton selling chai and, you know, agarbatti in those days, and they were there so many years, so many years. Then he said something and they just believed the thought about it and they said, 'No, I don't go to... I don't...' One heart can do like this. I have seen this happen. So although we can say that the mind is nothing, we can... nothing, but best not to underestimate the power of thought.

Ananta

You say, you know, the invitation will come with all the... dress it up very nicely. The invitation card will look beautiful, gold-plated. 'This is very nice,' and you buy it. And with this one thought, this game can perpetuate for another lifetime. There is that beautiful story that Mooji says that he talks about. I believe it is from the Yoga Vasistha where Ram is getting married. See, Lord Ram is getting married and Lakshmana, his younger brother, is going to invite everyone, see? And they want to invite the sage Vasistha. They want to invite the great Vasistha. So Lakshman gets on his horse and so his father had told him that, 'Take my ring. Take my ring. This is the royal ring. There's only one ring like this. Take this ring and when you show it to Vasistha, he will know that Dasharatha, the father, has sent you.'

Ananta

So Lakshman goes and he goes to the sage, and he does not get off his horse. Does not get off his horse because he's in a hurry, you see? He has many invitations. So he does not get off his horse and says, 'My father has invited you to the wedding.' So Vasistha says, 'What you do is first get off your horse, then you go to that room over there and put the invitation ring, and there's a bowl over there, you put it inside that.' So Lakshman gets off the horse, goes to the room and goes to the bowl and is going to put the ring over there. But over there are lying a hundred rings already, the same ring. Then when he comes out and asks the sage, 'What is this? Oh great sage, explain this to me.' Vasistha says, 'Of how many lifetimes will this game continue?' So with that one thought, that one thought, then you are not getting off your horse and then it can be next again, next lifetime, next ring.

Ananta

So I say that just let go of all of this. It is the simplest thing. All thoughts are saying that you are something phenomenal. All thoughts are referring to you as a person. And your power of belief is great, you see? And you pick up this one thought and you have given the power of belief to the concept that you are a person. That is why we have created this beautiful satsang environment. In the presence of this, you can come and expose and share the one thought which you're not able to let go of and we can look at it together. I have never said—we've been doing satsang for a while now—I have never to anyone said, 'This is too trivial for you to bring to satsang,' because I can see that the trickster can work in these ways. In fact, the mind will tell you, 'How can you bring this to Ananta?' or 'How can you bring this to satsang?' But I have never said it. I'm happy to look at this together.

Ananta

And also you must never be fearful about what you're bringing up because, 'What is the impression that I will have of you?' See, this is another trick that mind can play. 'If I expose this, then what will Ananta think of me? He will think that I have not really understood. He will think if I could believe all this rubbish, then I should not be here.' I see you as only the Self and I have no report card for any of you. All of you are the same one Self. And all this has happened here, see? That's why I can speak about it. All this has happened here, so I know how this mind can operate. Mooji says, '3, 2, 1, drop it.' It is as simple as that. You think the Master would say these words if they were not possible? It is completely possible if you don't pick up the 'but'. But it is possible right now.

Ananta

Ah, Liselle says, 'Okay, there are a few of them.' Zo is here, very good. Nick is here, very nice. Nick says, 'Just want to expose that there was the thought that I'm not able to connect, I cannot follow and everything. Over to you. Awareness just is. I love you, Father.' I love you too, my dear. It can seem that way, you know? You can come to satsang, 'What is he saying? What is he talking about?' All can seem very disconnected, disjointed. Sometimes you have trouble relating to what is being said. It's okay. It's okay. Just let it come and go. And sometimes it happens like this and you go and play the recording, you know, next day, and it all makes complete sense. Sometimes here at the end of satsang I say, 'What did I speak today? Did it make any sense?' Then I will go play the recording. 'Yeah, this guy makes sense,' you know? It can happen like this, completely fine.

Ananta

Actually, I don't know if I should be speaking like this, but I sometimes go hear the recording when I see it makes complete sense. I'm surprised. It's all lessons in trust for all of us to trust more and more this Satguru which is in your own heart. I said this in one of the satsangs earlier also, isn't it? Where I said the mind, before every, practically every satsang, it will come and say, 'Today I don't think you'll be able to say anything at all. You're out of things to say. What else can you say now? Everyone is going to get so bored.' You can see these kind of things. So don't expect that the mind will change its colors. Don't expect this leopard to change its spots. We're just not dancing to its tune now.

Ananta

So what I used to say earlier at one point was, I would say that I'll do the opposite of what the mind is saying. That also turned out to be an egoistic thing, so even that was dropped. So no doership at all, you see? Just flow. I don't mind even if a word doesn't come in satsang and all of you wonder, 'What is he doing?' I don't mind. Or all is just flowing exactly as it is. So don't worry about this sense of connection, disconnection. We are already one. How can we be connected? How are you connected to yourself? That is how we are connected. Liselle said, 'Father, Nick wrote a long message yesterday on your timeline about wanting to expose something.' Oh, I missed that. Okay. So Nick, if you're here, if you'd like to say something. And Liselle suggested that you try just with the audio and see if it happens today. And he said it seems better. So I don't know whether you want to come up or not.

Seeker

Hello, Namaste.

Ananta

Oh, Namaste.

Seeker

Yeah, it's... it's 3:00 in the morning here, so we have better internet connection.

Ananta

Oh, wonderful.

Seeker

Yeah, so beloved, yesterday I... I went through the... the peak fever actually of this mental attack of just feeling totally um, at the mercy of my mind and, uh, you know, just feeling absolutely disastrous because... the feeling of dying, literally. Yeah, I mean it was so, so intense and, uh, it forced me to even write the... the letter to you because... because we had been cut off from the internet connection before when I was on the hot seat. And um, I... I was just expressing that, uh, I got to feel how this connection, this sentient, you know, connection with you and this opportunity was so invigorating to me. And I even mentioned before just now in the chat that just to know that the love for Satguru was energy enough to... to take me through this delusion, you know.

Seeker

I mean, just to give an example, yesterday it was like my whole life came to... not just the story of it, but actually in presence, how useless I... I've become and how hard it's been to function, you know? And then of course reverberates with, 'My God, where's my future? What am I doing? Where am I going?' you know. Um, the... the relationship with my girlfriend's broken up, this is broken up, I don't have a job and all this sort of stuff, you know.

Ananta

The good news! You're in the right place.

Seeker

Yes, it's... and this is what I was going to say to counterbalance it. I was just getting this unbelievable peace that passes understanding, you know. Um, just marinating in this total acceptance and I could see that that was the awareness itself and that I had a choice to what to believe in, what to give energy to, just like you said before. And that the whole game is just about that is, what am I going to give and entertain? Yes, you know, that it seems as simple as that. If it was to be given a technique, it would be that, you know? Who are you going to believe in? You're going to believe in the mind or you're going to stay in the emptiness and the space?

Seeker

But there again, I just need to... I need to expose this that I'm getting over the... the stage fright, I think, a little bit of... of exposing. Um, that I... I feel now with this connection, I've just worked it out that I can... I can put the alarm clock for 2:30 in the morning and I'm here in my tent and I'm picking up a reasonable connection. So I'm very happy that I can continue this, you know. And um, I think it was the human element that I was really missing is not being connected um, in the satsang more, you know. Um, it's... it's been my experience before, I lived... I lived with... with Osho in Pune and you know, and I know, I know the homesickness of living with beautiful people and stuff. So it's just feeling like returning home, yes. And I'm very, very in love with you all and, uh, and very happy to have this connection.

Ananta

We are very happy to have you as well. Wonderful words, wonderful, beautiful. You said very beautifully that if there seems to be a choice, the choice only is: which voice do I believe? Do I believe the words of my mind or do I believe the emptiness, like you said, or Satguru in the heart? Same, same. This is very good. Just with this is the end of suffering. Just with this one... beloved was saying before, I forget her name, um, that um, there is... there is a very strong attraction to... to what is familiar, you know? Like if... if we have suffered a lot, as I... as I personally feel I have in this... striving, you know, to... to become myself, um, there... there's a very strong magnetism to staying with the familiar. And if that familiar has been, you know, deep depression and questioning and inquiry... so you know, this merging with you all in the sense of nothingness and... and non-judgmental space and acceptance is... is just... I have no words for my gratitude. It's just so deep.

Ananta

Very beautiful, very beautiful. And you said very rightly that it is the seeker identity which I find the most resistance from in satsang, more than the relationship identity or the parent identity or the money identity or the job work identity. The most resistance eventually comes from the seeker identity itself because the mind is saying that, 'I have got you so far. I am the one that got you to Ananta.' It says, 'You see, how can you give me up for him? And we have done such beautiful sadhana together.' It says, 'You have done inquiry. You remember when we did inquiry once and there was no thought for one hour?' You see, it tells you these kind of stories. It will say that, 'We can do this together. Stay with me.'

Ananta

And I say no, even this seeker you are not. Even this meditator, even this sadhaka, even this inquirer you are not. So ultimately that's why we say that even the seeking starts off as a personal journey and sometimes it becomes a very arrogant journey, see? And has the sense of arrogance about it, you know, even with others. 'Oh, all of you just chasing women and money, I'm chasing God,' you see? 'I'm seeking God.' So this sense of specialness also tends to come into the seeker identity and then we realize that we are not even this. We are nothing phenomenally. Then something seems to pin, something seems to hurt on hearing that you are nothing. Yes, yes. A very humbling, very humbling. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And it is in the realization that this person is nothing, then you realize the no-thing which you are, that in which all phenomena takes birth. So you are the full nothing, you are the full no-thing, you see?

Ananta

So this sense of specialness also tends to come into the seeker identity, and then we realize that we are not even this. We are nothing phenomenally. Then something seems to pinch, something seems to hurt on hearing that you are nothing. Yes, yes, a very humbling, very humbling nothing, nothing, nothing. And it is in the realization that this person is nothing, then you realize the no-thing which you are, that in which all phenomena takes birth. So you are the full nothing, you are the full no-thing. You see, within the phenomenal world you are nothing, and if you meet some people on the streets who are not into spirituality or Advaita and if you say, 'Who are you? You are nothing,' it is the biggest insult, you see. Worse than calling them names is to say that you are nothing, because the ego has made all this investment into making something out of you. Everyone wants to become something.

Ananta

So this acceptance that in this phenomenal realm I am nothing—at best I am just the witness of all of this, I cannot do anything, I cannot become something—so it can seem humbling like you said. But from this humility, the true understanding of what you are, you will realize that you are the Supreme One, but not as a person. See, every person wants to become the Supreme One. They have their own idea of what the Supreme One is, and someone tries to become God through money, someone tries to become God through love even, see? But no person can ever become God.

Seeker

Beloved, I have a question. Yes, please. Um, it's in regard to the body. Um, I've always been a very body person, very athletic, and I do a lot of surfing and diving and—and of course it's on a less level now. I just do it when it's really called for, when I feel enthusiasm and so forth. But I've been finding a very powerful, overwhelming lack of energy. My body feels like it—you know, I often want to just rest, you know, and sleep, and I'm snoozing during the day a lot. And it's very unusual to my normal behavior. Normally I'm very active. Of course I have my resting moments and so forth, but I'm a little bit shocked, a little bit freaked out, you know, that my energy is just getting zapped. And I'm wondering if it's okay to accept that as well as a part of a deeper sanctuary, you know, a deeper resting, a deeper coming to terms with something on a more spiritual level, perhaps? I don't know. I'm a little bit divided about that, you know? And of course that energy is something which you need to take you throughout the day. I don't overtax myself with many activities or anything, which I'm fortunate with here, but so I just eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired, and drink when I'm thirsty, so to speak.

Seeker

Which is wonderful hearing it from Bodhidharma, but you know, when you feel very useless and you're taxing yourself in a way as a tyrant, you know, that 'Oh my God, I'm just such a—what am I doing? Where am I going?' You know, that whole sensation again. So my question, as I said, is: Is it okay to be feeling this total exhaustion?

Ananta

Yes, yes. So let me answer this a little carefully. So let me start with an example. When I met Mooji for the first time and I was on the hot seat, then for about three, four, maybe five months, there was no energy here in the body to do anything at all. I would just sit around, and then the family started getting very worried. And I don't know whether in India it is quite a thing not to be doing something, you see, because our culture is so much around work and managing the family. Then I wrote to Mooji and said that this is what's happening, that there is no life energy here which is moving in any direction of work. There is no interest in anything, but I'm the happiest I have ever been. I'm the happiest I've ever been, but everybody around me feels that I'm depressed. So it can play like this. It can play.

Seeker

Good. Very good. That's beautiful.

Ananta

What I want to tell you is that don't make any conclusions about it. See, don't make any conclusions about what will happen in the next minute also. So that's why we say it's more about the beautiful neutrality which is watching wonder as everything is happening. Either it is lying down on the bed or it could be surfing in the waves. Just don't know, don't predict, and don't make any conclusions that 'Now I'm not so active anymore' or 'I should be more active' or something like this. So it's neither a doing nor a non-doing. I know this can be a little subtle, so I want to go a little bit slowly on this. That either saying that 'I've become inactive' or saying that 'I've become very active' is not required, you see. It is more saying, 'Yes, I don't know what's going to happen in the next instant, but what seems to have been flowing in the last few days is that no activity has happened.' That's completely fine.

Seeker

Wonderful. I can support that. I just interpret it as—if I sound correct—I suddenly am overwhelmed when I surrender to this space of acceptance. I suddenly am overwhelmed with an amazing enthusiasm to do any particular thing, and this energy that comes in is absolutely incredible. It's not me, it's just—it takes me, you know? And so that seems very true, what you're saying.

Ananta

Yes. And then you see that you have just been the witnessing of all of this play as well. Yes, actually you are unmoved even by this energy, see? When you're completely lethargic or completely active, in either of those two states, you are only the witnessing of these states also. So actually you have not moved. Like we were saying earlier, you cannot move an inch because there is no concept of space for you, there is no concept of time for you.

Seeker

All of this arising within this quality of awareness that you speak of. I can best describe it at the moment as a kind of—it's like I'm inside a bubble. I'm totally surrounded by something which is always here. I can feel it as a—it's like a—not to use the word ghost, but it's almost an aura around me of total vigilance, like a camera watching me but not judging. It's sublime, absolutely sublime. Of course, you know, when the mind is so strong there's a forgetfulness there, and then it sort of comes back and it can be watched by this absoluteness. And that's how it's becoming for me, and also a wearing off. It's feeling like the old tricks and everything are just getting worn off, you know? They're just getting exhausted and thrown by the side. And for me it feels very, very much that.

Ananta

Yes. First point what I would like to say is that when you look and you see that 'There is a bubble around me,' you see, and 'There's an aura or something around me,' are you—you can look and check right now actually—are you that which is inside the bubble or that which is surrounded by the aura, or are you that which is witnessing even this?

Seeker

I am that which is witnessing myself in the bubble, and the bubble, and outside the bubble.

Ananta

Yes, yes, yes. It's the highest point.

Seeker

It's like a—there's a humming sensation. It's hard to describe, I know, but there's like a zoom-zoom, you know, in the air. It's like a very, very eerie kind of presence feeling.

Ananta

And the witnessing is untouched by even the strangeness or the eeriness of this feeling, isn't it?

Seeker

Yes, yes. From this point I can see myself as the persona very easily. I can, you know, it's like a little grain of sand just down there beneath my feet. It's like—yeah, this is very good. And really, Ananta, what is opening—this is very clear to me as well—is being on the hot seat and in connection with my heart with you. And this is doing just the world of good because the human fragility and the love is really the bridge to all this spirituality. I feel this so strong, you know. I remember when I was living with Osho and everything, what we used to do all the time was hugging each other and everything, and it's the most wonderful thing, just this human acceptance and affection. And it's really—we're humans, we're not aliens, we're humans, you know? So I'm very, very grateful to this connection with you all.

Ananta

Same, same, my dear. So happy, very good. So much love to you. Thank you so much.

Seeker

Thank you, thank you. I'm so happy we were able to chat like this today.

Ananta

Yes, me too, me too. Very much, very much. Thank you.

Seeker

I'll leave space for someone else. Thank you so much. Namaste. Love to all.

Ananta

Isani said, 'That happens a lot nowadays, Father. I can't remember what I said and wonder if I spoke sense.' Yes, like Father, like daughter. Isani says such beautiful words, so clear, so powerful. Beloved Ananta Ji, gratitudes again and again. So much love. Jen Cal says, 'How do you find happiness, real contentment?' A very beautiful question.

Ananta

True happiness is found when you discover first what you really are, see? Otherwise what is happening is that we are living the life of this person, which is just a set of concepts. The person identity is just a set of concepts, and we are catering to this personal identity. So every morning the mind will come and say, 'Today if you work really hard, then you will be happy. Today if you get a good relationship, then you will be happy.' It sets these goals for ourselves. But have you ever really been happy like this consistently? No, because the mind says again, 'You're almost there, just a little bit more. Now you have this, just a little bit of that and you are done.'

Ananta

So if you keep running on this treadmill, if you keep chasing happiness by listening to the desires of the mind and listening to the aversions of the mind, then we cannot find real happiness. The happiness that you are referring to, that is not to be found. But when you find that 'I cannot be this ego, I have not been this separate individual, it has only been imagined, it has only been conjured up, only a set of ideas that I have picked up along the way,' then you find that all of this is just an appearance which is happening in front of me. I'm untouched by any of this. And in this seeing of your true nature as pure awareness itself, then happiness is in service to you. But you are not even chasing happiness now, you see?

Ananta

Like my Master says, when we chase the world, then the world runs from us. When we just stand still as the witness, then the world is bowing down to our feet. So as long as we are chasing happiness, we're chasing love, we're chasing joy, we're chasing peace, it seems more and more elusive. When we just stand still and see what is here right now, then all of these energies and forces we see are in service to us. And if you have a mic which is working—I see you in the Hangout—if you have a mic that is working, it'll be good to hear from you also so that I know what is coming up for you. But if it's not, that's fine as well. Atma says, 'Father, only emptiness remains. So great.' Yes, my dear, I know that your computer seems to be giving you a lot of trouble. I'm sure in a few days we'll be able to sort this out. Okay, so do we have a song? Any of you feel like singing?

Seeker

Namaste, Father. My dear, Namaste everyone.

Ananta

Father, you also want to sing along? Yes, yes, I will. You can't stop me if you try. We can sing Shankara Karunakar. Father, you want to start this? I did not bargain for this.

Ananta

Oh, did it freeze up? Maybe it couldn't handle my singing. It doesn't like two people at the same time, Father. It doesn't know which one to choose. Yes, we confuse the mind also like this. Good. Thank you all so much today. Mooji Ji Jai, Jai, Jai. Ananta Jai, Jai. Thank you all so much. Thank you, thank you all. Bye-bye. Thank you all, thank you all. Namaste. Thank you. Namaste. Goodbye. Beautiful.

The Thread Continues

These satsangs touch the same silence.