Even More Important to Come to Satsang After Realization - 8th August 2016
Saar (Essence)
Ananta warns against the 'spiritual ego' that forms when the mind claims a past moment of recognition to avoid future inquiry. He emphasizes staying in the freshness of direct experience rather than clinging to conceptual liberation.
The spiritual ego needs to be cut off ten times, while the normal ego needs only one whack.
Advaita is the best thorn to remove other thorns, but don't let Advaita itself become the thorn.
Because there is fear of returning to suffering, one would rather be a pretend enlightened being.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
And what's happening is then I... okay, let's say even if I'm checking right now, instead of going to the direct experience at point... exactly, exactly, exactly. This is where the resistance is kicking in. They can think when you go to the mental friends, you don't have that stuff. You don't feel that freshness and you don't feel to look into it again. So there is no coming back. And if this is so, in one sense, that you forget the direct experience. Because I was watching one of Rupert's videos when he was talking about the experience and the mental noise. What was it? It was so clear to me. That's what I mean. He was telling it in a very simple way because he was traveling somewhere and he's telling what the hospital... but the body was giving him the raw experience. Experience to be in the train and looking through the window, that was the saddest experience. But the mental mind would think, 'Okay, there were so many of the flights might get delayed, I might go ahead, I might be this.' And so from this, I grasped what is the direct experience. You know, I was thinking that from a traffic billions talk, it's not right now. My direct experience is I can feel the heat, I'm talking to you, and I can hear. And you see an awful day, so that if it is the click and you're not talking with it, no one feels speaking. This is what is enough. No, you don't have to say this. Yes, and that's how I got that clarity. But as I said, this was my next question actually. This actually kind of equal pathetic. So I was not getting the direct experience and that's why I was not happy and that's why I'm not getting this, the complete satisfaction. You know, like, good, I'm done with this worldly thing and not giving me that full satisfaction. No, I need to have that. And I'm looking for that, the deep satisfaction or whatever, Father. And that's why I'm going, it's digging deeper and deeper and deeper. But yeah, I don't know if all you have helped me now.
Yes, it's very good what you say because let's unravel even one level deeper. Why is it that many times, in response to the direct recognition of the truth, what gets formed is the spiritual ego? So what happens is that mostly before the recognition of the truth, we can say that our life has been full of suffering. In fact, many have said that it is this suffering itself which provides the momentum for the inquiry for us to look and to come to the recognition. Now what happens is that in the moment of recognition, there is a great, great lightness that comes. It seems like there is no separation, there's no boundaries. It's so beautiful, you see. It might even be accompanied by love and bliss and all of these things, you see. So now what happens is that the mind says, 'This is it. This is the end of suffering.' You see? 'This seeing that you had is your self-realization, is your liberation.' The mind comes in, makes all these pictures. 'You cannot suffer anymore.' And because it feels authentic at that moment, we buy all of these ideas and something like, 'I've reached the pinnacle in this world. There is nothing more to inquire into.' And what did I find? I found that there was nothing, you see.
So now what happens is that if these concepts themselves become the overriding... you see, 'I saw the truth, there is nothing to do in reality, I didn't even see anything phenomenal,' which is all true. But now these concepts themselves become the overriding defenders of what was seen in the past. And I can feel like, 'Oh, there was freedom from suffering here and I must hold on to that.' These are subtle things, you see.
Exactly. That's why I'm strong in, Father. It's possible to do not see. These are very subtle things.
So because the relief from suffering is there, it's like I had a whiff of a drug and it felt like my life is the best, you think. So then you become addicted to that drug. So what happens is that now if anyone comes and says, 'Can we look again?' now you... what is actually happening is that there is fear. 'Suppose I look now and I don't find it? I'll come back to that suffering state.' Very passive-aggressive. Somebody comes... 'Are you...?' 'Yes, like that.' Like you give them all a tough defense. It's true. It will give another day that depends. 'Who are you to ask me? I am awareness.' Someone says, 'You haven't seen it.' 'Okay, let's inquire together.' You see, actually what is coming is that it is whether it is understood or not, something is taking it as an attack. Exactly. For something good, okay, it just asks, 'Okay, check yourself and tell me first that you are the...' It has happened here many times where those who were in this anger, they had these moments of recognition and then I said, 'Okay, let's continue to look.' Like, 'Okay, but now you look. I'm happy where I am. I don't need to look anymore. So are you doubting my seeing?' I'm not doubting any seeing. This seeing cannot be lost. I am only doubting the concepts that we have started to believe about ourselves together.
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If you find that, you know, these kind of things are taking hold, and if someone says, 'Let's look together' or they inquire, 'Are you really free? Are you really seeing it?' and if that is seen as an attack, you see? If that is... it seems like, 'Oh, I am being attacked.' And it will come from your own master. And even if your own master's voice is starting to sound like an attack, then you have to remember that it was he who said that there is a need to look again. Is it so? But because there is fear of going back to that suffering state, of that seeker state, you'd rather be or pretend to be an enlightened being, an enlightened person, than go back to the pretend seeking. Is it? Because this is... oh yeah, see.
And one more thing, Father. Now I want to see that bad. You know, the mind has taken over the... I don't know what to call it. It's normal seeking, but it's... it's like, 'Okay, I'm going to wait to that emerged here,' you know? Or it just reveals itself, something like that. So, and I saw that as well. And that is kind of a very subtle again. Like making is only my wife will let some festival itself. Whom does it have to reveal, you know? So then actually no, nothing like this is there. As I said, I started a deep statement once, which is very special. If you don't... you know, I mean, I could have gone, I could have been... I actually, I was waiting all these days, something, someday. Because I'm, as I said previously, I'm in a place that I don't know what it is. I couldn't connect with anybody, even see you or any masters, Father. I'm not able to connect to anyone on the stairs on the right and not to anything. So then mind made a kind of invitation. 'Okay, then that means what? That you're waiting for the... I know, for something to come up or something will happen or maybe who knows, you might become something.' No, I'll do all those things and I'm uncovered. That's what's been happening. And even though I was not buying it, but kind of at the back, that... I think I have bought it or something. I don't know. That was believed signed, it was going on. And then suddenly one day I came up to the light and yeah, I can see that. So this is very subtle, Father. I don't know how you being with this thing.
Okay, that's what I said. That it is even more important after an awakening experience or after the recognition of the truth to keep coming to Satsang, you see. So this is the most fertile ground for... we want exactly ignite. That's my... when some... I also believe it anything now because yeah, I know I'm not true. It's not true what anybody... it never touched, never done soon. If someone says, 'I've seen it,' never be to the... nobody can see. If it's seen past them, it is worth noting. Is it? Just you can simple with that now. And why do I use the Ravana example? Because it's a very, very representation of Ravana is this spiritual ego self. Because what was Ravana's voice? If you hear it, he'll start sounding like this spiritual ego's voice. Because he says that, 'Why should I bow down to Ram? I am also God. I am also God. What is he that I am not?' You see? Same thing. 'I am God.' The mind is also saying that 'I am God, I am this awareness.' What is the difference? 'Why should I listen to my teacher now? Why should I inquire now?'
Now, how does the story end? Now, spiritual egotist needs... my one whack. Anchor normal ego... the normal ego just needs one cut off the head. But this spiritual ego needs to be cut off ten times, you see. So you should keep building that because Advaita is the best thorn to remove other thorns, you see. But if Advaita itself gets embedded as the thorn, you see? Yes, then who will remove this thorn? It's only life we can remove that, you see. When you have this innocence to be able to come and say, 'Father, what is this? Is this also spiritual ego?' that means it cannot be ego, you see. Because the ego means that it is not open to checking, it is not open to looking, it's not opening wrong. You want to be right. When we want to be right, then we are stuck. So it becomes a confluence of all these forces. 'I don't want to suffer anymore, I want to hang on to an image of what was seen in the past, and I don't want to shake any... I don't want anyone to keep coming and shake my perspective of my freedom.' Okay? 'So if you want to do that, I don't want to talk to you.' Because like that, happily not that. But the best is that usually what you will find is that if you see it in yourself or in others, you will find that you will start feeling like everybody else is coming from their mind. Everybody else is coming from the mind, only you are speaking from a pure place.
I can certainly accept the fact that others are coming from the mind. I don't see... maybe because my... not a thing like that.
Other... that's one thing that I have been in the symptoms of this disease called spiritual ego. I'm not saying you're suffering from it because I... then I would have to chase you down and talk to you if it is you.
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