Don´t Try To Come To This Point, This Is Where You´re Starting From - 8th Jan. 2016

So as long as there's some reliance... 'I am a spiritual person,' for example, is a very popular construct. And then those who are spiritual then have these other points of suffering: 'I am such a God-loving person, God-fearing person. Why do I have to suffer? Why does God do bad things to good people?' All these things, they are good. So then eventually we come to this understanding that no matter what kind of person I believe myself to be, it is not the end. The end of suffering is only the realization that there is no person. And this that is prior to all phenomena, this awareness, is what I am. And this does not change. Stable—more than the word 'stable' can convey. This is that, still, not changing. Anything might be happening in the waking state, any phenomenon might be coming and going, but this witnessing of it that time moved unchanged. You need to not step away from it. This is what you are.

I've been saying this often: whether you like it or no, this is it. It is the power of our pretense and the power of our belief. What a magnificent actor it must be, the power of belief. It can convince that which is no-thing, that which is eternal, immortal, unchanging—it can convince that, or actually the dynamic aspect of that, the being aspect of that, tries to convince that that you are just this, this, this, this, and a set of ideas, the body-mind complex as it is called. So the being, which is as pure as awareness itself, somehow has created this power for itself to be deluded. Who else could have done such a thing? Only God could create this Maya. There is no other who is strong enough.

There comes a point where you're done with the play. That's why I start asking this question, which is: are you done with the play or not? Because otherwise you can have the same conversation over and over and over again. But actually what you're saying then is that 'I want to play also and I want to be serious.' How are the sages? They're done with the play. It's clear that 'I'm done with the play.' And then there's some aspects we still get held onto, some strong identity. Those we can look at. If it still feels like 'I still want to be a person, I enjoy...' and just, you know, this is like some sort of a comfort blanket or the safety net or something, then we go over and over the same. But those who are saying, 'No, I am not interested in anything that might come in the play, any content might appear. I might be a beggar on the street or I might be a king in the palace. This body might be the fittest one or it might be just going into the dust.'

So with this sense, if you come to Satsang and say, 'I'm not worried about phenomenal appearances at all,' then what happens? All that is personal, all that is domestic, all that is kept aside, and you clearly just see what is prior to all of this. Who was I before I woke up this morning? Did I have an identity in my sleep state? So these are very beautiful contemplations to look at. And everybody enjoys sleep, at least they report that after they wake up, because at some point we get tired of this phenomenal experiencing. This property is to say, it could be in the arms of your beloved on your wedding night, then sleep comes when you're done with the experience. And we listen to them then for today, you know, let's go to sleep, let it be tomorrow. There comes a point that most blissful experiences could be in front of us, but there is a limit to how much you can enjoy them. And very quickly the mind will come with this fear, the fear that the play will stop. We say, 'The play will not stop.' I like my family and I like my worldly duties, and it is usually seen that very naturally the play continues without it becoming an expectation of it going a certain way. Very naturally it continues, which is that which is playing all these roles can continue to play the roles if it likes to. Only the sense of control, that 'I must control the way this life is going,' that is gone. And that is a very free existence.

Every moment is an experience so beautifully, so you're not projecting the way we want life to be. It's like just like we are watching a movie and saying, 'Okay, I hope the next scene is like this.' That's a troublesome way of watching a movie. Just watch. We are just watching. And so beautiful—the scriptwriter, the director, the projector, the screen and all is one consciousness. The entire movie is playing. It is your own screen, or being on your own screen of consciousness. Everything is appearing and disappearing, and you are the eternal witness of this. And the awareness where this is said, something knows that this is true, isn't it? It knows that there is some... these words are resonating with what is here. Because otherwise, for the mind, it's completely radical. You say, 'But when these words are said, that you are the eternal one, I don't feel like anyone here.' But something there will ring true. And this is how something knows this very clearly. But this one is a priori, an intuitive sense which knows the reality of what I am. The mind cannot grasp eternity.

So this one, what is here prior to mind? What is here prior to being also? You are aware of your presence. What is here that is aware of presence? This is the same, unmoved and untouched through any state. So once it is kept aside, this mind, just allowing being to be without any sense of grasping and control, this being the simple truth of who we are is so apparent, isn't it? When we try to... we believe you when you try to make a conclusion about it: 'I found what I sought.' If you quickly go to that, then again it is giving it away to the mind. There is nothing you have found; you have always been this. The discovery is that I have always been this. It's not a discovery of something new.

So we unravel this mystery, that the core of this delusion of personhood is only, firstly, the presence of this voice which tries to convince us that you are a person, and more importantly, the belief in this voice that we give. Then we find that all of this, this voice is allowed to continue, this weather is allowed to continue, and being is allowed to just be. I am that which is the eternal, innocent witnessing of all this. This is our experience right now. Don't try to grasp at it. Don't try to come to this point; this is where you are starting from. This is your starting point. If you might be still painting a picture saying that you have to get to where he's pointing, then it is again tricking. This is the starting point. The movement, if you want to look at it as a movement, is an inward one, not a forward one.

And the grace of Satsang, the presence of Satsang, is given as the spiritual muscles now. When we say, 'Just keep the mind aside,' we are able to follow. If you were to speak to a layman—you mostly speak to anyone who is not in Satsang—and say, 'Keep the mind aside,' they will say, 'But how can I? It's so strong.' The mind is so strong. But now, having been in Satsang, more and more it will feel as if the mind is just there, and we wonder with that also. What do we find strong? That which is our strongest identity. And in spiritual circles, the seeker identity can also be the strongest. Since as we did, you know, it's all this... so let's then maybe explore: who is this one who made it? There is nobody here in that way.