Become Concept Free - 27th April 2016

Yes. So are you that frustration? Are you the witness of it primarily?

Well, at the moment I am the witness of it, yes.

Now try to not be the witness and become the content. How you do it?

Well, it's almost like entering back into that. It's like just sensation, this energy of frustration. So it's not like diving back in there... don't you do it. Let's see it. Okay, um, I can't do it.

Now remember, 'do it' is only an idea that I can do it. The witnessing is just the witnessing itself. It only seemed like I went back into the personal, into the person, but no person has actually ever existed. Our attention can go to this content, but that to which attention is reporting is not fixated with it. It's not stuck in it, is not bound by it. It is only the thoughts which will tell you that now you are stuck in this stuff and you have the power to pretend by believing these thoughts. But in reality you could never be stuck. If we remove where for you to go, you are here already as that awareness.

There's distractions that come up like memories and suddenly instead of me frustrated, there's some memories that pop up.

Yes, but you can use even that. Say this distraction is coming up, these memories coming up, who is witnessing that? Is the witnessing also distracted? This is everything coming out. I choose this world is dual purpose. If the urge is to clear the person, then everything that comes up in the world we can use to take personally and to get deeper in the personal idea. But if the urge is 'I'll discover who we are,' then everything that is appearing in the world can be to point back at the witnessing of it and to check who is it that sees this and to come to our true realization of the Self, you see? So same world, same content can be there, but depending on the urge it can be used differently.

But the urge has to be free for sure. It's already... no, it's beyond 'I want to be happy' and 'I don't want to suffer anymore.' I mean, I don't want to suffer anymore and I want to be happy, but the stronger urge is I want to be free. I want to... I want to know that I'm free, but that way...

Yes, I know this because you cannot come to... my feeling is that if the urge was for some superficial of a little happiness, then you would not be here for the second Satsang. After the first Satsang, something would get tortured. This ideal person would get so tortured that you will never want to come back to the second Satsang. So because you're here so often, then I know it cannot just be about some superficial sense of happiness. The sense of personhood who wants this sense of being happy... it is pure torture to be in the Satsang because it doesn't like a question for mind. It doesn't like these few things which we are saying, which is that you don't exist as a person, you are truly non-phenomena and all these appearances don't matter, we don't have meaning. So it doesn't like the sense of personhood, doesn't like this.

So if you can come again for Satsang, that means there must be a primal urge here for some freedom. But this actually doesn't mean that if you are coming for a few sessions, does it mean that you will come to the end of... although that is my blessing that all of you come to the end of your conditioning. But sometimes we cross something like we might have a spiritual experience or an awakening experience or some spiritual experience and something says, 'I want to take ownership of this. This was so good. I have discovered that I am God.' So it wants to use that as fresh conditioning and then have to come into these kind of the experiences. We might get seemingly waylaid from the end of all conditioning because then we start adding new conditioning about ourselves which is specialness, arrogance, pride—this spiritual ego basically.

This is the most common reason people stopped coming to Satsang is because they believe they have become special people now. I would say, I will go as far as to say that more Muktas seemingly leave Satsang because of specialness than actually leave Satsang because of true contentment and realization of the Self. Well, it can also be that there comes a time where all of these words which seem so blissful and nice then start seeming boring and dull and same-same. The mind can also come with these kind of resistance and see what he just saying the same same stuff. So it comes with this kind of resistance also and says, 'Okay, now might feel you've got enough now. Now you just... you can be independent, you don't need this anymore.'